What's up, guys? I recently had the opportunity to tag along on The Art of Charm's live-in bootcamp program for a day and do missions with the team, so I thought I'd whip up an account of my experiences and impressions to maybe help out those of you who are considering taking the program with them. Before we get the ball rolling with this review, allow me to lay out a few things on the table so we're all on the same page. First off, like I said, I only took one day of AoC's week long program, so I'm going to be writing from a limited perspective - but hey, considering that I didn't have to pay for it, that's still a pretty good deal, neh? Second, this review is going to consist entirely of my own opinions and impressions, and I won't delve too deeply into the specific training methods and techniques used in the program, since that's kinda a trade secret. I would love to discuss them with ya'll, since some of it is pretty groundbreaking stuff, but I'm afraid AoC will send its corporate assassins after me if I spill the beans. Knowing these guys though, the bastards will probably manage to make me fall in love with them right before they pull the trigger.
As advertised on their website, their program consists of both a classroom and fieldwork component. Word of advice to the newbies: never pay for a bootcamp that does not allow you to spend a lot of time in the field. Information is cheap, and in this digital age, often free. Good feedback is worth paying for. When I spoke to the AoC coaches, I was immediately struck by their charisma and confidence, but again, that's nothing new. Socially capable people are a dime a dozen in the PUA community. The real gems are those who can impart that skill to others, and it was the people taking the bootcamp who interested me most. A motley crew of men from disparate backgrounds and varying levels of social ability, I was extremely curious to see how these guys would transform throughout the course of the program. The goal of today's adventure was to learn all about day game, and we hopped on the subway to head straight into the heart of New York City, to a place that's well known for being a hot spot for the most beautiful women in the Apple: 14th street, Union Square. While we were on the train listening to a pep talk and last minute lesson from the coaches, one of the guys thought it'd be a good idea to warm up by hitting on a woman next to him. 5 seconds into his opener, she promptly turned her back to him. No "Um, sorry, I'm busy," no subtly finding a reason to move to a different part of the train car, it's just boom, talk to the back of my head, you creep. Whoa, talk about an indicator of disinterest. We all broke into a fit of snickers, including the guy who was making the move - thus inspired, we swarmed out of the train into the city streets, ready to tackle the first mission of the day.
Some gurus send their students out on easy missions to give them the illusion of success, but not AoC. No, we had to spend two full hours approaching, stopping, opening, and engaging people on the street in single digit temperature, and understand that this is New York City, where people's default emotion is pissed off. As we split off to do the mission, the coaches bounced from individual to individual, giving them one-on-one feedback on body language, approach strategies, and mindset. I've done some pretty embarrassing stuff in the past to blast through my social anxiety, but I still couldn't help but feel nervous as hell on my first few approaches. I guess it's true what they say, it never really goes away. As I progressed though, I could feel myself evolving, if only for a split moment, both emotionally and intellectually. One of the fundamental concepts they teach at AoC is the balance between the emotional and logical parts of your brain - as one goes up, the other goes down, and if you experience a spike in your emotions that brings your logic down to a red zone, your noodle is going to get scrambled, and you'll start blabbering nonsense in front of people who are going to start to think that you're an idiot. I'm sure we've all experienced it. However, the more you expose yourself to nerve wracking situations, the smaller this red zone becomes, until eventually you learn how to be in a state where you can be comfortable out of your comfort zone. I haven't reached that point yet, but every approach brought me a little bit closer. Slowly, I began to tune into people's expressions and body language, began to be able to analyze my own behavior to find out what works and what doesn't, began to see different approach strategies blooming in my mind. At the beginning, I was managing to stop maybe one out of every five people, if that. At the end, I was pulling four out of five, easy.
After we got to the point where we've been out there for so long that the cold air has frozen our face and we can barely move our lips, the coaches decided that it was time to wrap up and head to the rendezvous, which was the upper level of Whole Foods. Eager to get out of the cold and psyched to swap stories with the other guys, I turned to head towards Whole Foods, until I remembered that I had absolutely no idea where it was. Whoops. But it was okay, after two hours of approaching strangers on the street, stopping someone to ask for directions is like a bad joke. The guy I stopped gave me very specific directions to get to Whole Foods, and right before he was about to walk away, he added, "Oh, and by the way, I own the store." Holy shit? We immediately fired up a conversation, and he turned out to be a really cool guy. After learning about what I was doing, he became extremely interested in taking one of the free seminars AoC throws every weekend, gave me his number, and made me promise to call him back with the details. Well, that just goes to show that the stuff AoC teaches isn't just for improving your ability to pick up women - it's for improving every area of your social life. Well, maybe some of it is just for picking up women...somehow I get the feeling that sending the guy a text that goes "hey baby, what kinda mischief you gettin into tonight?
" isn't going to fly over real well with him.
Long story short, we met up at Whole Foods, and we were all in a different state of mind after the day's adventure. Some of us were high off the adrenaline rush, some were relieved it was all over, and one guy was actually in tears because the mission had been so hard for him, and the coaches had to sit down with him to cheer him up. To that guy, I gotta say: fuck it man, way to pull through. Some of us have more obstacles in our way than others, and that just means we gotta work twice as hard to get to where we need to be. That guy may have social problems, but he's got the courage to flip his problems the finger and keep on trucking, and for that, he's got my eternal respect.
All in all, the rest of the day did not disappoint. We ate some food, hit on some girls, made them giggle. We saw a guy go berserk in the middle of the food court and had to be dragged away by cops after he told security to do unpleasant things to a part of his body which he felt was significantly larger than average. The coaches decided to send us off on an impromptu mission through the shopping area of Whole Foods, during which I got a chance to speak to a lot of cool people and learn many, many interesting things about cheese. I had a long conversation with one of the guys taking the program, who turned out to be a theater and improv actor, and he taught me a few cool tricks to take yourself out of your head and live in the moment (apparently having a rap battle with yourself is an excellent way to do this). When the day was over and it was time for us to head back, I felt tired and mentally drained, but content. I had learned a lot, and tomorrow, I would be heading off to do other things, but for the other guys, they still had the rest of the week to go. Their journey wasn't over yet, but after spending a day with the team, I felt sure that they had very capable guides to show them the way.
CHAT