Did you really 'close'?!?



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:17 pm 
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I guess I found something for me to rant about today. I might as well get use to it but I get sick of seeing someone say I "kiss closed" or "#-Closed" on various threads and stuff. First of all, these are not closes but we'll come back to that point.

If your goal is to get a relationship or even just to get laid how can getting a kiss or # be a 'close.'

If I'm selling a car to someone. I'm familiar with this because I sold cars for a few years. A girl comes by and is interested in the car and gives me her number so I can followup with her about it. It's not a close I don't have money for the car yet.

Same situation, but the girl comes by this time and gives me a deposit to hold it. (Kiss) that doesn't mean it's sold yet either. I'm just one step closer to it being sold. Still, I don't have money in my pocket.

When it's sold it's a 'close' when she is sold on you and she is in an actual relationship with you or sex depending on your goals that's a close guys! The # and kiss are just a means to an end, they are not the end goal itself. Let's please stop referring to them as a "close."

I can understand your feeling of accomplishment. When you are new it's a big deal to start getting kisses and numbers. And it's good that you are able to! You are on the right path, but it's still not a close.

Any objections?!?

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:36 pm 
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OBJECTION!
while i see what your saying, thinking of getting a full close while you approach seems like a long long way away. However, if you break it up into #-close, k-close etc etc it's a series of smaller achivements.
This makes you feel good when you get the #, your getting 1 step close. k-close, yes, another step closers. This way, each achivement gives you a boost.

This is why people who split a large task into small sub-tasks get it done better, rather than trying to do it all at once.


This is a really bad explination, but i think what i am trying to say is clear.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:48 pm 
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I've actually posted something similar to this ranting about the same thing you are. All I can say is that some people in here need things like a number or kiss close to make them feel better about themselves whether it be for lack of self-confidence or other reasons. ( Obviously its never a bad thing to get even the least significant closes, but something must become of them.)

It truly isn't an accomplishment and you give a great example with your experience selling cars.

If you have solid mid-game, maybe then getting a # or kiss close may actually mean something because you can actually take it somewhere depending on what your goals are.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:01 pm 
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Quote:
OBJECTION!
while i see what your saying, thinking of getting a full close while you approach seems like a long long way away. However, if you break it up into #-close, k-close etc etc it's a series of smaller achivements.
This makes you feel good when you get the #, your getting 1 step close. k-close, yes, another step closers. This way, each achivement gives you a boost.

This is why people who split a large task into small sub-tasks get it done better, rather than trying to do it all at once.


This is a really bad explination, but i think what i am trying to say is clear.
I see what you are trying to say. That breaking things up into smaller goals help in the achievement of the larger goal and gives you a boost.

That makes perfect sense! I agree they are "mile stones" in a sense and good to have on your PUA checklist in field so to speak. A kiss or number is better than a swift kick in the balls but it's still not a close! :)
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If you have solid mid-game, maybe then getting a # or kiss close may actually mean something because you can actually take it somewhere depending on what your goals are.
True, if you have solid mid-game then you know it'll come out to being the other stuff. Like I said before I'm not saying it's not an accomplishment or you guys shouldn't feel good about yourselves because you should. I felt good getting a kiss or a #.

Still it's not a "close" to me. It's an accomplishment sure, but again it's the "means to an end" not the "end itself."

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:15 pm 
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A close is an end to the interaction, whether it's number kiss or full, lets you know of your skill level and the logistics involeved.

Simple as :roll:


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:31 pm 
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It may be an accomplishment in that it means you were not rejected or blown off... that's always something to be happy about. In fact, if you make the interaction get to a point where she is trying to get your number or see you again... then you've truly done something. Even if the number is really hers, there's no saying that she'll pick up or want to ever see you again.

There is nothing wrong with going out trying to get numbers. Actually going out, getting numbers and being satisfied with adding a new contact is another story.

Lets be realistic, none of us will get what we want with every girl we ever meet. Not all girls are willing to give us what we want so getting a kiss is definitely something to be proud of. If you get the kiss and the opportunity is there to move it forward and you don't because you were good with just a kiss is why I really don't like calling it a close.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:46 pm 
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Maybe it would be more fitting to call them "openings." That is what they do...they open the door to more. A number could lead to a date etc...

I don't know, I'm just trying to sound smart these days :D


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:57 pm 
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By the popular use of the word in the community everyone is looking for closes, working their way up the ladder from # to Kiss to Full.

Which is odd as the word close does imply that is where you and the other persons interactions end. Opportunity for further interactions is increased by the action usually yet the phrase defines less of a chance. Unless this is you take some of the more minor definitions behind the word.

For instance ' Being on the brink of' or ' Bound by mutual interests, loyalties, or affections; intimate:'

And when done correctly, if your end goal is looking for a relationship then each close , brings you nearer to 'Being on the brink of' being 'Bound by mutual interests, loyalties, or affections; intimate'

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