Guys, you don't know me, and I don't know you. But I know it is from this community I need help.

I read The Game two times in the last two years. Never really commit to anything and therefore achieved nothing. But that's not my problem today.

After my ex left me, it's been downhill for me. I've never been this depressed and fearful of everything.

I started being self-deprecating and I have damaged myself a lot. Mentally. I can't help but to remember Mystery on the book, only I have not reached any extremes yet.

What has worsened my problem was that I started to think perhaps I was bisexual and that I should explore other things. And I did, but I don't think I was in the right state of mind to take such a decision.

I did. I met an anonymous male, not good looking at all and not my age at all. But I wasn't looking for beauty. I wanted to forget her and I thought this surely make me forget her. I think I made a mistake.

You see, I only love women. But now, since I've done this, I feel unworthy of them. I feel I desecrated the beautiful past I had with my ex by doing that. I can't forgive myself and my guy friends (all straight) would be in the least disappointed to know this.

How can I look a woman in the eye now and tell her she means the world to me, if I'm bound to keep this secret? (And it must remain a secret).

I remember Mystery himself doubted his sexuality once (I think it said so in the book) but unlike him, I acted out and now I think I'll always be anxious around women because of this.

I know in my life I will be happier in a heterosexual relationship, but right now, in the middle of this depression (caused by many factors, not just this) I need to cope and I want your opinion on this.

I am 23.

Who's to say you need to keep it a secret? If you're in love with a woman and she's in love with you, this wouldn't even matter, not even a scratch on your relationship.

_________________
Slept On Rappers
http://hiphoprising.blogspot.com

I think you should really concentrate on inner game, pick up a couple of books, most of them cover issues of inner game. You should also find some good advice on the inner game section of the forums.

I also think you could use some therapy to get over some of your issues. At least I found it helpful a couple of years ago when I was battling depression. When you're able to tell yourself that you aren't depressed, that you won't allow yourself to be depressed, that's when you're on your way to success. And that's when this community can really help you. This community can't help people that aren't willing/don't have the energy to help themselves. Get yourself well first, and let the community help you become great.

Depression is a bitch man, Ive dealt with it. Still somewhat dealing with it. Inner game work is definatly number one on your PUA checklist right now. Take it at your own pace. Cramming it won't fix it faster. Happiness will come, don't think this is a permanent state.

_________________
I just wanna fuck bad bitches, for all the nights I never had bitches.