Johnny, I was seeing your video where you talk about comfort and how you should let feel women around feel comfortable in being around you. This got me thinking: There is a difference between feeling comfortable and using someone as a comfort zone no?

It's weird because I look back at past relationships and remember things that an ex use to tell me. She use to say that I was her comfort zone. In other words, I was her running tampon where she can place all of burdens onto. When I saw what you said, this immediately ran through my mind. You said that someone that is your type is radically different than someone you're familiar with. That sort of confuses me because to me its like I can't be comfortable if I'm not that person's type. Do you get me?

I asked you a question about a little dilemma that I was having in this thread. I just want to know how you overcame your jealousy. Oh yea, I'm also wondering if you read my e-mail of notes yet. I'm eager to what you gotta say.

_________________
"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he did nothing because he could do only a little." - Edmund Burke

Hey Johnny, great answers thanks for the replies, but one more thing.

How did you develop your positive persona and exude confidence from yourself? Have you always been a confident guy or did you just try to develop it over time?

Thanks.

Hey, Johnny. I might be a little long-winded here, but bear with me:

Over the course of this year, I realized my life is in a pathetic rut. I've been trying to soak up some knowledge on here these past couple of days, but I need a good foundation first. I made a topic in the Newbie section about a good way to build self confidence, and you seem to almost infectiously ooze confidence and charisma. I can see that even over the Internet. Sean and a couple other guys gave me some good tips on how to be a little more sure of myself, but I was also wondering if you had anything you could add to it. Tomorrow, Hell or high water, I'm going to have to force myself to start small and get out and do some dreadful socializing with complete strangers. Well, I don't have a problem socializing, I guess. I just have a problem doing so like I don't have a fear in the world, and that they're lucky to have met a guy like me - man or woman.

I don't know. I've never been the type of guy for womanizing, I guess. Even if I had the confidence. The thought of me having a one night stand makes me feel kind of sick at my stomach. It's probably not normal for a 20 year-old guy to think that way, but I guess I just wanna find one girl and hold on to that one. And if it works out, great. If it doesn't, well, I at least want to have the techniques available to quickly replace her without wallowing in sorrow for the rest of my life. I'd rather be a success story than a sob story. And I've ran out of good excuses to make for myself, so I guess I just can't do it anymore. Anyway, if you had any insight on how to wake up and not care what people think about you, and feel like you're worth something, I think theres where I probably need to start, before I start trying the supernatural shit. Much thanks in advance.

Hi Johnny, i just got into the pick-up game a couple months ago. i'm a great story teller naturally, and i've had a pretty interesting life, so a lot of this stuff seems really easy to me. the hard part for me was getting the balls to go over and talk to women i didnt know, which im getting progressively better at each week.

i havent listened to your series yet (im planning on it tonight), but ive heard an interview of yours with Adam Lyons, and it really made sense to me. my biggest question for you would be, how do you communicate to women that you won't judge them as you become "the guy who doesn't count?"

do you flat out tell them? i can't imagine that its just assumed through your charisma and body language, but its also hard for me to imagine the perfect time to say, "hey, i wont judge you if you and your friend come home with me to fuck."

thanks, lots of respect for still helping out the noobs!

what actions did u take to get to where you are today?
did you have mentors or something

I understand that for some pua's they were once AFC's were you one of those guys?

If you DO NOT APPROACH THEM as though YOU were 'the Seller' and THEY were 'the Buyer', you'll find it gets easier and easier!
Great! I wish _I_ could hear that interview! Was is published someplace?
I cover all of that in the vids, so I won't go through it in text now - after you've watched 'em, please feel free to ask any follow-up questions!

Johnny Soporno
www.SeductiveReasoning.com

Hey Johnny.

I have noticed an odd effect I've been having on women lately, is that if I meet them and know them, and I am not sleeping with them. They start to crave sex while around me or after meeting me or whatever.

Many girls find that they start checking guys out more often, that they are thinking sexually about friend relationships that they have with other guys.

I haven't increased the amount of sex I'm having significantly in the past couple of weeks.

Would you have any idea what this is and how to maintain this effect? I'm guessing this may be something to do with inner-game, but I can't percieve any change in my mindset.

Any idea's what it is in specefic I am doing "right"?

Greetings!

I'm new to the Seduction Community. I've be listening to Mystery Method and DeAngelo. There's a lot of information. But I have a specific situation I would appreciate some guidance. Interestingly, I have found that I was doing a lot of the things taught unconsciously. And some of the wrong things as well. Wuss stuff. Though I want to take the time and learn all the processes, my near term "project" is more specific. I have a friend who is a solid 9. She and I have gone back and forth over 6-7 years. It was always clearly a romantic type relationship. Over the years she's even gotten married (6 months) etc. but always finds her way back to me. Yes I know there are a lot of fish in the sea, but there is an unsatisfied desire here.

So, I could use some direction, this time around, now that she is back, to do the correct things and not the attraction killers/wuss things.

I'll give a little background so you can see my situation. About me. I'm very outgoing. Great personality. Interesting life. I've travelled all over the world since i was a kid. I was in Law school when I was 15. I'm a writter, I've been a producer and director on Indie film (even one in theaters a year ago). So I have a lot of material for High Status.

Now I call my friend D. I'm 13 years older than her. I've known her since she was 22. Long dark hair. great body. Playboy material. She's the type strange guys would come by our table in a restaurant and say hi to her. Even when she's dressed down in an oversized sweatshirt and her hair up. I think she would consider me her best friend. I've been there for all the crazy ups and downs. I probably know more about her than anyone else.

Clearly there has been an on again, off again attraction thing going on. There have been times in the past she's wanted me to marry her. Have kids together. Loves the sex talk. So I'm now aware, that some of the things I've done that I thought were helping attraction were killing it.

Example. Almost always brought her flowers, and silly gifts she liked. Always sent her cards, love letters, poem, music. All of which she has kept over the years and still mentions specific things from years ago. (I'm guessing these were actually negative things I was doing). As for now, I have mostly stopped. Just an ocassional note, or card. Old habits are hard to break:-)

So, a lot of the PUA material is not needed. She already very comfortable with me. Trusts me. No problem laying in bed with me watching something or listening to music. Actually that is what she prefers more than going out to dinner etc.

I do have a problem reading her body language. Whether she'd be open to my advances?

She runs hot and cold. One time, when she was "In Love" with me, she came over, actually I had to go get her 40 miles away. Complete last minute after a long day. Rushed to shower and look nice. on the way down, I had a blow out on the highway. Me in the dark in my nice clothes changing a tire. When I got to her place she looked HOT. Stripper hot. She wanted to follow me in her car, so she could leave early morning. Okay. But first she wanted to eat at Denny's (??) So we did. And she has a habit of not making eye contact which is strange for me. And it was kind of clear this night was for sex. So I had to wait until Denny's was over. Went back to my house. She likes my house and my bedroom. Had the perfect music she likes. in fact she still comments all these years later about my playlist. It was akward, our first time. My expectations were too high. And she seemed very distant. She took off her jeans and panties while under cover. No talking. I ran my hand under her blouse, she was very warm. Now her breasts. big and soft. She seemed to like it. Now the wuss part. Someone else would have just mounted her and done the deed. There had been tons of sexual tension before. But she seemed so distant. no real kissing. No naughty talk. So it made it feel very uncomfortable for me. and I backed off. I wanted it to be nicer. It basically pissed her off. She decided to leave.

On another occasion when she was back on the hunt for me, back in love with me. We did have sex at her place.

Some of thr guys she has been with in the past have been bad boys. The father of her sone when she was 20 is a big mexican guy in a band. Another weisel was a violent loser who had a drug addiction past.

So, I would appreciate, in this vast amount of PUA/Seduction information, pointers how to build the attraction up again. And what things to not do again that kills it. It probably won't be too long before she's back laying in my bed listening to music.

So I want to approach this in a new way. In the mean time I will continue reading and listening.

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Max

Hey guys, thanks for your help in advance, I'm new to the game but let me explain the situation:
So I'm a freshman in college, and there is this girl on my floor who I hung out with a lot last semester, and I kind of had a thing for her, but I'm pretty sure at that point I was in the friend zone, we'd talk somewhat but I didn't really feel the rapport like you'd have with one of your really good friends, yet she considered me a very good friend. Anyway, we all went away for a month and over break I decided to try and change things with her.

In order to try and create a little jealousy, during break over aim I mentioned to her and a few of her/my common friends the girls who I was considering hooking up with back home very smoothly and not in a way that seemed like bragging. Later in break when I mentioned hanging out with one of the girls again she asked me if I slept with her, in a way that I interpreted as a sign of possible jealousy Now that I got back I told our common friends the stories about the girls that I got with over break (they are true stories, with only a few slight embellishments) in order to possibly create jealousy, and I'm sure she heard them too (I got them to ask about the situations, and it really didn't seem like I was bragging).

Also, while talking to her online I'd talk for a little, then I would make sure that I'd tell her I had to go do something like hang out with friends and log off pretty quickly (which was generally true, but it was also a conscious tactic to show her I was a busy guy with things going for me)
In fact, at one point she accused me of avoiding her and running away from her, and only telling a mutual friend of mine about any of my life's problems. She then said she felt like I didn't have time for her anymore.
I replied "It's kind of hard with the different time zones, but you don't really try to make time either"
She said "I do, a lot and I have a ton to tell you, but I've got to go to bed so I will soon byeeexx"
(which is legit because it was like 3 am there)
Also, I made sure to tease her a bit and bust her a little. Then later on she said I was too busy for her, and was somewhat joking that she was mad and we probably wouldn't see each other at college because I'd be too busy. I said "yeah, I don't think I'll have time, but who knows, maybe if you talk to my secretary she can fit you in for like 30 minutes" and somehow we ended up talking about how we wanted to go rollerskating too... but then I was like "well, if I have time for it, like I said you'll have to talk to my secretary about scheduling a time"

She was fake-mad at me when we got back to college, and I greeted her with a hug, but then she was like
"I'm not talking to you" so then when she'd talk to me I'd make fun of her for it, then I turned it around on her and when she'd talk to me I'd jokingly say "I thought we weren't talking" or "hey, we're not supposed to be talking!" or something like that. Then after we "were friends again" I jokingly was like "you should apologize, then maybe we can still be friends" and she did! I took this as a slight ioi.

So now we're back at college and I've been teasing/busting her a lot, and not really going to her room to hang out with her so much. Now she has come into my room every day to hang out a little, which didn't really happen before. Today, when I'd bust on her, she'd laugh a lot but then tonight she IMs me on aim and says "You're so mean to me" and I said "Yeah, you deserve it Smiley " and she was like "Do you hate me?" and, not wanting to play into telling her that I am just teasing I was like "Yeah, I absolutely despise you Wink"
and ended the conversation by saying "Good night, ttyn (talk to you never) Wink"

Okay, what do I do? Is she really mad? I don't get it. She seems legitimately confused, and maybe thinks I hate her? Any help is appreciated-

SigFlo- recovering AFC

I’m sitting here writing this because I find it really amazing that something I’ve only seen a few times could engage my mind so completely; I literally could not and still cannot stop learning from it. The perspective it has given me is probably one of the most revelatory I’ve had in some time.

While all of us have come to this forum in their own ways, most of us have a single goal … to get better with women. Some of us have a somewhat skewed (screwed?) view of what that means, but it is nonetheless why we’re here. I’m not here to judge your motivation, but to challenge you to review what it is Johnny has made. He would certainly tell you he’s done it for purely selfish reasons, but it will help you if you apply his reasoning every time you review what someone has said and asked on these boards.

I stumbled upon this recently when I was reading through someone’s post about the problems he was having. I was reading along knowing that the person who posted it did so in the slim hope they could convey their message effectively enough to get some help. It suddenly occurred to me I’ve been looking at most things through the lens of the Seductive Reasoning message Johnny offered freely for everyone to see. As a fellow lover of Robert Heinlein’s writing I recall a quote from Starship Troopers, “nothing freely given is ever truly appreciated.” This is definitely true of the message Johnny has put on video, and posted on the web for everyone to see and hear.

In the months since David DeAngelo’s interview with Johnny I have thought about it, watched the videos, and been drawn back from time to time to watch them again when I had more questions. After answering a few of my questions, for which I am deeply grateful, I came to realize that even when he is joking in the videos he is still honestly conveying his message. I have given it serious consideration, and the logic of it has resonated with me in a way I had not thought possible from someone I’ve never met.

Before you post your questions watch the videos, take some time to think about them, then watch them again and take notes. There are very few questions that aren’t answered by taking Johnny’s perspective and projecting them to their logical conclusions. It’s not a magic pill, a golden line, or the best technique. It’s more of a global reframe that makes the solutions seem obvious, but it takes time to internalize. Don’t worry though, it doesn’t take that much time.

Watch the videos: http://www.seductivereasoning.com/

_________________
Artax
Devil's Advocate

"You're only as young as the women you feel."
"I am the Master of my unspoken words, and the Slave to those words that should have remained unsaid."

Sorry to intrude on your thread johnny, but this instantly jumped out at me.

A similar thing happened to me whilst i was turning from AFC to PUA. I noticed in my situation it was because I was naturally DHV'ing through positive personality traits i'd not been displaying before.

Essentially, pumping the buying temperature & building attraction, just by the subconscious way I reacted to things. I imagine your doing something similar. Perhaps your displaying an abundance mindset, where before you came across needy? Maybe your naturally leading the conversation whereas before you were the one being led?

Try and observe yourself in the moment and i'm sure it'll become apparent.

Hope that helped until johnny get's back

Take it easy.

Wolfus

For the most part, I've gotten over approach anxiety. Very often I see girls eyeing me strongly and this almost always yields a confident approach and a positive result. In 90% of the cases not only do I feel fine approaching, but feel like I do so successfully - I can segue smoothly into conversation, they seem interested, etc.

From that point I'm totally comfortable negging, DHVing, blah blah blah. Girls are laughing, IOIing, complimenting NON-STOP. Everything seems perfect and right about the interaction.

In fact, I don't even have any problem number closing. I'm getting about 1 out of every 2 times I talk to a girl a don't know (many times I don't even intend to "sarge" them). They give the number willingly and often with an overt sense of enthusiasm. Here's the problem:

I simply can not get a 2nd day. It is only AFTER the number close a few days later that a girl says she has a boyfriend or makes up a transparent excuse not to hang out. Just this week alone I have number closed 4 girls, all of whom have either rejected my offer for a 2nd meeting or have agreed, but stood me up (painful!). It's gotten to the point where halfway through the conversation I'm already deciding the whole thing is pointless, as if I can sense their interest deteriorating.

I'm not sure exactly what the problem is but I have a hunch: I open very strongly, but about 4 minutes into the conversation the excitement and rhythm seem to run out (for both of us). I feel that I am depending on an incredible opening 3 quarters to compensate for a depressingly lacking final quarter - that the girl is giving her number to the exciting and refreshing new man she met in the beginning as opposed to the random unimpressive guy on the street who he is quickly turning out to be. A final note is that most of the opportunities I have to meet girls are on the bus or at the bus-stop going to and from class (college). This usually only allows about 6-7 minutes, many times less.

I try my best to self-assess and learn through trial and error, but this seems to be a trend I can't (easily) beat on my own and is absolutely positively gorilla-raping my confidence.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

hey im not sure if you still reply to questions on this thread but ill post mine anyways. im 18 never had a girlfriend i started to read about pua material about 3 months ago but cant seem to implement any of it. im still in high school and its kinda hard to change peoples opinion about you once your a senior in high school so i find it difficult to change. another problem i have is that im very shy and self-counscious about myself i have some acne problems, braces and am a little overweight is there any material you recomend to help myself overcome low self-esteem and low confidence???

Hi Johnny, my biggest problem (and without that i get nowhere) is approaching, I've got big approach anxiety (even times when girls looked at me and smiled).

What would be a good way for me to blast this approach anxiety cause I'm getting really really really sick of it.

A couple of days ago I touched the shoulders of a girl sitting in front of me (I think she and her friends were checking me out cause it's pretty weird that they always sat in front of me at different moments in different classrooms (and our classrooms are huge)), I asked her her name and told her she was really beautifull and she just thanked me. Now I know this approach sucks and maybe now they see me as a creepy guy (lol, but it's funny cause normally I would've been scary as shit thinking they would gossip about me), but even saying something like this is something incredible for me and I'm still glad I said something that stupid instead of saying nothing at all (cause that's what I normally do).

Point is, I'm scared like sh** to approach. I really want to blast this away.

I'm now at college and there are lots of girls and I have to admit I often got checked out by girls (eye contact) but was too scared to say or do shit

This is big issue for me, I tried alot of things :

travel on my own far away to broaden my mind and be obligated to interact with strangers,

wearing a cool hat on some huge party (it worked to get some attention but my Anxiety stayed),

drinking alcohol to dare more (wich I should deffinately stop 'cause it doesn"t help me at all)

working out like crazy (I did this for a year), now I stopped but my body still looks okay but it didn't changed anything for my anxiety approach

going out with other people that don't have anxiety approach (i know especially one who really really has no game but zero anxiety approach, he isn't really a reference because he's kind off a loser in life and often doesn't have a girl but the few time he does it's because of his almost unexisting anxiety approach. He can walk up to any girl in the street and go talk to her) but seeing him at work doesn't really help me, he just dares to approach that's it, but most girls aren't interested because he often says stupid things and doesn't attract most type of girls.

I need to do this with someone who can push me in the back I think, I don't see any other way.

Please get me some advice on this, it really ruins my life. I mean, if I would have to give everything I have to switch off this AA in my brain, I would do it .

I don't see any other way to do it without someone pushing me in the back when I should do it, clearly with an objective. Like some contest (like open 50 girls) or something like that.

This anxiety approach is actually a fear of humiliation (which probably dates from childhood experiences.

My final goal would be to one day talk to any girl in the street, and try to keep some conversation going.

About two weeks ago I met this girl in line for the club, she had an accent so i couldn't help but to gravitate towards her (HB 8.5/9), we played in the club.. long story short after an initial k-close rejection i shut her out eventually got the k-close came across as an interesting and very smooth/fun/confident guy, moved her out of the club we walked around making out in all different places and talking...she was really digging me. We ended up cuddling on a couch and making out. Next week I put in aloooot! of text game...every other fucking day thinking of the best texts the best times etc. she always texted back positively..but after 10min-1 hour after alot of ambiguity of whether her friends were gonna meet my friend at the nearby club seen she FINALLY said she would come. We chilled that night made out a lot to got to know each other a little more (in a fun way but still just the tip of the iceberg) for instance i found out what kind of wine she likes what sports, movies a little about brazilian culture, her height etc. and visa versa. I invited her to have coffee with me the next day, she thought it was to soon or something but we agreed for next week coffee then wine and a movie at my place;) we had a fun night, nothing beautiful or crazy awesome but we enjoyed eachothers company and it was nice, i told her to call me when she got home to let me know she got there safe...she did. OK so the next week same thing playful texts to her monday, wednesday and all positive responses (still 15min to 1 hour wait) THEN THE THURSDAY TEXT I GAVE HER WENT LIKE THIS ((with wink face)) "i just thought the perfect thing thing to show you saturday;) AND SHE THREW THE FIRST BIG CURVEBALL "Cool...but i have bad news...i will work saturday. my host parents said for me today morning they will a dinner and i will watch the kids all night. so i cant go". WHAT THE FUK!!! THAT WAS IT SO THAT NIGHT(8 hrs later) I TEXTED HER THIS "no prob i'll hang with the boys sat let me know whens a good time and if it fits my schedule i'll give the OK". Now granted its still taht night now im still pissed for putting in all this work and getting a text that looks like a flake. What can i do if she doesn;t text back. I dont get why she flaked, was the first text i sent that day sounding sexual...is this a shit test. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP. this girl is hot...and from brazil. I put in mad work my game was tight. was it to much playfulness not enough comfort? I think maybe all my texts throughout the two weeks were playful. HELP!!