this is not exactly a question, i just needed to get this off my chest and none of my friends seem to understand beacause they dont game. i am open to comments if anyone wants to add anything.

What the fuck. im really tired of the way my life has been playin out lately. im getting so fucking good at average pickup. i can get girls that i could previously only dream of. i have learned so much new shit and im a better person for it, but what the fuck? i can never get a real relationship out of any of it.

any time i ever game a girl, have a good time, get a number and kiss close i almost always text them at some point. when i text them it seems to go great and they are still into me. this is the point where i must be fucking up.

i will maybe go on one date, maybe. then the fact that im actually a cool guy must hit these girls, so they go back to the douch guys that treat them like shit. look im not sayin i dont neg, cuz i do; heavy when i first meet them. then once i actually start to care for them i slow down the negs so they leave. i dont want to constantly neg a girl i care for. I dont neg girls, shatter does. its fuckin pissin me off that im having so much success being an absolute dick. y cant girls just like a nice guy. i want a girl that likes me for me, not being shatter.

Do you want a fuckin example? ok, here we go. So this summer i meet an HB10 right, this chick is my version of perfect. so at first im really nice to her and she doesnt give a shit about me. then i get a different gf and start ignoring and negging the HB. so then she starts acting interested. well so like 2 months ago i broke up with the old gf and called up the HB. i negged the shit out of her and she was once again interested. at this point i thought she really cared so i stopped negging, now she no longer gives a shit.
this is what i got when i texted her today.

HB: "hi. ill ttyl im eating lunch with &^%$" (thats another guy)

so, basically......im fuckin pissed cuz as far as i can tell there is not shit i can do about this. it seeems like my pickup identity is a cooler person than i am. what. the .fuck.

i dont expect anyone to read all this, but if you have anything to say about my problem go ahead. hahaha it felt good to get this out.....

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Who is the 5th of the Final Five?

Damn bro you got issues but it can all be cured I think you have ego problems try developing your inner game more and see how that goes

First of all....

CONGRUENCY CHECK!

If you have a PUA identity, and a "normal" identity, then YOU DON'T HAVE GAME!

You should have a normal identity, that's it.

Is negging and false disqualification your only method of building attraction?

It sounds to m like your just using PU, not really understanding, get some female friends, start reading other material rather than indirect MM, and see if you can get a grasp of how people think and what they want.

Also, try and stop improving shatter, and work on yourself.

Seems like you have morality issues. You don't want to neg chicks as you think it's a bad thing to do, but you do it anyway so you can pick up. But then once you have a girl you stop, hoping that she will remain attracted to you.

My advice to you is to make a decision. Either commit to the jerk persona forever, or dispense with it all together. As you've discovered, you can't just act all cool and then find someone and rest on your laurels (well not completely anyway) so to speak. Even in marriage you've got to keep some Game up. There are stories of guys who get married and then just suddenly revert to their nice old ways and so their wives leave or cheat on them.

So, what will it be? Will you either you solve you morality issues, stick with your jerk persona and continue picking up chicks hopefully then moving on to relationships; or will you be content enough to just be yourself, not pick up chicks and probably not get into relationships either? Is the urge to have women in your life great enough for you to act like a shithead, or are you able to overcome the urge and do what you feel is right?

i can only agree with whats been written so far.

and add.

is this girl a realt HB10, or does she just look like one.

a real hb10 has class.


work on your inner game man, love thy self. and stop falling for a'holes.

negging doesn't have to be (and never should truly be) insulting. you're not being an asshole - its natural to tease the opposite sex. being playful with somebody you like brings healthy attraction, enjoyment, and light-heartedness into an interaction. it shows that you have the confidence not to just blindly accept a woman because they are put on a pedestal like many men do for no reason.

think of negging as a playful nudge. if done right it can bring out just what needs to be expressed.

encourage healthy tension and be able to laugh at yourself when she throws a neg back.

Totally agree with Fin on this. You need to stop thinking of yourself as two different people and just have one identity or you're going to keep having these issues. That's why so many guys have these issues and why most guys that consider themselves PUAs have trouble having relationships because they do cling to the idea of having an alter ego.

I find it so weird because so many "normal" guys end up developing these multiple personalities and issues from it, yet they never had issues like that before. I've had borderline schizophrenia for years, basically having developed a split personality which was one thing that was making it hard to attract women, I'd either be a cocky asshole, or a super "nice guy" and people would say stuff like "You're like 2 different people". Then after working with pickup I ended up eliminating that completely and finding the balance between the two.

Trust me, you'll have a lot more success if you just take the best of both worlds and ditch the crap from each as well.

Also, stop negging and just use teasing flirting instead. You never have to stop using teasing flirting because it's always fun and playful, but negs are meant to destroy another person's feeling of worth, so you don't want to use them or you're crushing their personality. Hard way to have a relationship if you're making the other person feel less than they are all the time, but much easier if you're having fun teasing each other playfully.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

well, Fin and Rye Lee: i suppose your right. i suppose i should have been facing the obvious this whole time. your advice is blunt, but also painfully correct. i must find a way to find even ground with my two personalities.

Belondon: That is a great way to put it. i guess i thought she had class, but i suppose i was just so wrapped up in how i felt about her i never stopped to consider who she really is.

thanks guys. i guess i needed a good reality check/ slap in the face.

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Who is the 5th of the Final Five?

k i didnt read all the replys but i read your scenario and i did alittle thinking and i just got done dealing with a girl and she did the EXACT same thing to me. and its nothing ur doing wrong in my book its the girl, girls like that use guys as a stepping stone because with most guys they get away with it. so all girls are not like that. and second you gotta be happy with urself before you try to make other people happy. when i created my so called alter-ego i attacked all of my worries/problems/insecurities and when it comes down to it the answer to most of them was "who gives a shit" if you worry about the small things that only brings you down. you can only be so good no ones perfect. as being a dick head? thats just society today man you gotta have a pair of balls if u wanna go anywhere in life its just plain and simple. sure u can be still be a nice guy but in certain situations. but what is really a nice guy? a guy who gets walked over to make others happy? you can still be a nice guy and have a set of balls. you gotta do what makes you happy not what makes other people happy. i noticed you said you forgot about the HB and got a different gf. so u obviously did something right to get her. so in the end its not always you.

hey guys i just thought i would stop in and give an update. i have taken the advice of many of you and started trying become one personality, not two different ones. i have stopped posting on the forum as often and stopped using as many routines and negging.

so far it is going well, i will admit that i am not getting the same action i was before (at least on the looks scale), but the personality of the girls is much better to me. i am now actually talking to girls instead of just being physical. it is frustrating, but at the end of the day i feel it is more rewarding.

so thanks to everyone that gave advice and i hope some can learn from this post. i expect i wont be posting again for a while, but ill check in every now and then. thanks so much for all the help

good luck

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Who is the 5th of the Final Five?

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the place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum...