This is only the more recent of a few flakey girls I've tried to nab. This one in particular I met while on a trip to St. John's, NFLD, a friend of a friend, basically, who moved to where I lived while I was away on another trip. She said she was up for hanging out when I got back. She's a definite 8, has intelligence and a touch of class. That night in St. J I felt a bit from her but from what I gather from my friend she suffers from low-self esteem.

Anyways, when I got back, I try to talk to her on MSN and she's only on for maybe 5 minutes from when the convo starts, she says she'll do something but in the end flakes out, etc.

Is she as much of a lost cause as I think or is there something I've been missing? I've tried different things like showing social proof, negging, push & pull, etc, but nothing.

i think you're best bet would be to "punish" her cuz it sounds to me like the typical cat-string theory, shes toying with you so instead of giving her all the attention you do now stop for a while, in the words of Style and Mystery "you become the dancing string" if u catch my drift, idk if im not clear enough just lemme know


~Archer

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"Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending" Jim Henson


~Archer

I know what you mean, I haven't talked to her in a while, stopped inviting her to things and etc. I randomly started up talkin' to her recently now though so that's why I want to see if it's salvagable.

Why punish her? Her interest in you isn't that high which is why she flaked out on you. Build up her interest more and she won't flake as much.

Boosting her interest in me seems a lil difficult right now since my contact with her is fairly limited. I do have an idea for next month since a friend of ours is staying over here for a lil bit, I can use that time to build interest.
Aside from that I haven't been able to figure that one out.

Okay, flakes are easy to deal with.
Yes, you have to punish them, but not with stopping contact.
You need to punish her with our SOIs (Statement Of Intent).
Let her know, flat out that you want to hang out with her but you are a very busy man. Let her know, bluntly, that if you reserve a spot in that busy time for you and her, that she needs to show up. You have lots of other people (since she has low-ish self esteem I'd just keep it at people) you could be spending this time with, you have lots of other things you could be doing with this time. Sit her down and let her know that. Or, if she flakes on the talk, let her know.
Make it clear this is something you expect from all the people in your life, and if she wants to be one of them, it's something she'll have to do.

Trust me. Women appreciate and respect honest, open communication. If you communicate with her honestly and openly, what you say will be heard and respected.

Cinnamon

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I really like this approach and have used it before with mixed success. Although it worked, eventually the girl started to flake again. I cut it loose after that. There are too many others out there to deal with that for too long.

Alright, I'll give it a shot, being more open and direct with her and if she just flakes then I'll just cut it off and leave it at that.
While she does have qualities I like in a gal, if she can't commit to anything then I have no problem dropping her and Trev is right, there are plenty of gals out there, why worry about one?