Shy and Need Tips on Pick up



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:51 am 
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Hey Everyone,

I've been shy most of my life and find it hard meeting women.

I've read The Game, and that started me thinking about getting over my shyness and start approaching women. But I find it really difficult. I get so nervous then I just give up.

Have any guys here been really shy towards women then overome this?

Thanks.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 11:31 am 
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I know wot you mean! I was shy for years, but then I started reading about the PUA comminity, and thought enough was enough and started to get invoved. Now I look back it's one of the best things Ive ever done.

Shyness sucks, man! You need to start gently, talking to people eveywhere - thats what I did. Since then I've been out with dozens of girls and had many great times.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 5:11 pm 
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Hey Josh,

Same as you mate! I turned to the pickup community because I couldn't handle women. I read, and read. First, it was a nightmare but with more practice it became easier and easier.

I'm not a extrovert or PUA now, but can pull women and know wot to say to attract them, before I used to walk off too afraid to talk to them.

I read some good stuff about being shy here:

http://www.markway.com/


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:02 am 
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Hi Welcome, with me was a little diferent I was shy, but the major fear was rejection.... I m working on that...

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 11:22 am 
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Same as. I notice you haven't given yourself a PUA 'name' Josh; that's part of the process of absenting yourself from your own self-perception, and assuming another identity. Not a made-up one, the you you're meant to be. I think Mystery made some gesture towards Style at the beginning of The Game along the lines of you're tearing up the old shy you, and occupying a new persona. Obviously it needn't be as dramatic as that, but the principle is there. In truth, I'm working on it, not there. I've often used bravado as a sort of disguise for my shyness, meaning I've sometimes seemed confident, or at least cocky funny, but quite often just aggressive. My confidence has gone down since I lost most of my hair in my mid-twenties, now I have to rebuild everything. A solid foundation of self-confidence built on a stronger inner belief blah-de-blah. A lot of the guys have said developing their game has worked for their whole lives, not just picking up women. I'm certain it will work for you and me and everyone else who commits to this


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:07 am 
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You're shy because it makes you comfortable.

For the first three months make a rule for yourself...

RULE> if you feel a sense of comfort, do something opposite, a personal phase shift. Convince yourself that being uncomfortable is the only way to surivive. Comfort is death, comfort is death, comfort is death.
The only way to survive is to be uncomfortable, push yourself.
If you're comfortable, you're being yourself and falling into old habbits.
This is not the place for that.
Break that habbit.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 7:26 pm 
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Hey bro i feel you. Im really really shy with girls and after reading The Game im like "hey, i can do this" but no lol. But having that mindset that i can do it makes me think i know more than most every other guy checking out that hot chick gets me SOOO much closer to finally breaking out and approaching. Hopefully ill overcome that this month =)

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" Difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week"


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:38 pm 
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Quote:
Same as. I notice you haven't given yourself a PUA 'name' Josh; that's part of the process of absenting yourself from your own self-perception, and assuming another identity. Not a made-up one, the you you're meant to be. I think Mystery made some gesture towards Style at the beginning of The Game along the lines of you're tearing up the old shy you, and occupying a new persona. Obviously it needn't be as dramatic as that, but the principle is there. In truth, I'm working on it, not there. I've often used bravado as a sort of disguise for my shyness, meaning I've sometimes seemed confident, or at least cocky funny, but quite often just aggressive. My confidence has gone down since I lost most of my hair in my mid-twenties, now I have to rebuild everything. A solid foundation of self-confidence built on a stronger inner belief blah-de-blah. A lot of the guys have said developing their game has worked for their whole lives, not just picking up women. I'm certain it will work for you and me and everyone else who commits to this
no. that's exactly what you don't want to do. you want to improve on the person that you are, not create an alter ego.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:03 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Same as. I notice you haven't given yourself a PUA 'name' Josh; that's part of the process of absenting yourself from your own self-perception, and assuming another identity. Not a made-up one, the you you're meant to be. I think Mystery made some gesture towards Style at the beginning of The Game along the lines of you're tearing up the old shy you, and occupying a new persona. Obviously it needn't be as dramatic as that, but the principle is there. In truth, I'm working on it, not there. I've often used bravado as a sort of disguise for my shyness, meaning I've sometimes seemed confident, or at least cocky funny, but quite often just aggressive. My confidence has gone down since I lost most of my hair in my mid-twenties, now I have to rebuild everything. A solid foundation of self-confidence built on a stronger inner belief blah-de-blah. A lot of the guys have said developing their game has worked for their whole lives, not just picking up women. I'm certain it will work for you and me and everyone else who commits to this
no. that's exactly what you don't want to do. you want to improve on the person that you are, not create an alter ego.

A PUA "name" is just some thing for an online identity. It's not an essential. Hell my name is Josh but I chose the name I did because A. I hate my name and B. I figured it would all ready be in use by someone else.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 6:18 pm 
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depends how bad the shyness is.

I'll give you some advice I gave a friend.

Practise talking to strangers who are paid to be nice to you. just a little conversation each day.

1. supermarket. when the girl/lady/guy is zapping your stuff, just say "hey, how are you doing today" or something similar. whatever they reply just give them a mild acknowledgment, nothing too much.

2. coffee shop. just ask a question. "do you have light milk" "do you have soya" followed by "great I'll take that in a latte, not too strong...thanks". . .

3. restaurant. get used to asking for a table... do you have sometihng by the window, do you have something in the corner....

4. go to a clothes shop and just ask for some help, "hey, how are you? I need to find me a very nice tshirt, something a little different, can you show me a few things... "

5. in the bar, when its a little quite, ask the barman, what beers he has?, anything interesting?

in short, get use to talking to stangers on your terms. go out of your way to talk to people, i do it all the time, its a basic exercise that keeps you sharp.

everytime I enter the gym, I always just exchange a few words with the girls/guys in the gym. I never walk passed them and they are paid to talk with me, any girl ho sees me come in, sees that i am greeted and known. Now they know its coming so they normally start the conversation with me.

exposure creates opportunity. practice make perfect. just try it...


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:23 pm 
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make an effort to be social. don't make excuses. just do it


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