Hey Dudes.

Well ive been talking to this girl (sort of my oneitis although i'm handling it better). In the beginning i used to give her more of a hard time and everything was exciting and fun because it was new. Things have cooled down a bit since, she doesnt call me at work anymore and once in a while she doesnt call me when she says she will. although she still initiates a text message and when we do talk its still fun and i can tell she is still interested but things have cooled down and i DO NOT want to lose her. We have not had sex yet and have not talked about dating etc. We have been talking for about 2 months now and see each other once a week or two because she lives in the burbs and i'm in the city.

My buddy and i came up with a basic game plan to help make her chase me, and maybe turn up the fire and excitement. I am not going to initiate a text or call for a while, until she is chasing me a bit. I will not return a text message (unless its important or about a meetup) for 4-6 hours or maybe i wont respond at all. and i will go back to giving her a hard time (but not too much). also because its tomorrow should i text her a happy new year??? and also i know i need to be busy and have an interested life to generate attraction. but i do, i do alot of standup comedy and improv and she has surprised me at 2 of my shows in the past and i always make it sound like i'm busy but i could probably do a better job. and i know her seeing me kill it on stage probably turned her on too.

so how does this plan sound? please give me advice or additions to this plan. I want to put myself in the best position to have this girl build attraction with me and chase me!!!

Hi Rahl,

Hope your all good buddy. Next post you should include some jokes, being a stand up comedian I'm tired and cold, and a laugh would be good to pass the time! haha.

Reading your post, I feel like I have to say maybe somethings you won't like - but being that your here and asking for advice, means you'll understand and listen to what I'm saying - even if its not 100% what you want to hear!

Firstly, this sounds very friend zone. I don't know how much you know about the whole PUA stuff (or whether you use it at all, haven't checked your profile I apologise) but this is a bad place to be.

All of her actions you describe either seem like 2 things. Friend Zone. Or a girl who likes you but is very shy to say so. And I mean really shy. From little clues in what you've written, I'm leaning more towards the first one. Thats the initial problem.

The second thing that is a problem here, is your attitude towards her. You come accross as pining - and no doubt may come across as a bit needy.

With those two problems, this plan will not work. Why would she chase a friend who starts ignoring her...or picking and choosing her texts (she'll only bait if she's attracted), or someone who she views as that friend who seems overly into her.

You have a few a choices, but one of them is to really try and get this girl out of your head. This is one thing I know from experience. The girl that you WANT. And I'm talking, your full focus on her. You will not get.

You need to ignore her for a bit yes, but if you want her attracted you need to wipe the slate clean. Don't talk to her for a few months and sort your head out. She should NOT be the only girl you want. You oneitis shouldn't be manageable. It should be totally controlled. Its alright to be into a girl; but don't let it form into oneitis unless your together.

After a long pause; initiate conversation again. Starting again - and having at least one significant change in your life that will be noticeable. A new hobby, or new attitude. And add alot more flirting into your conversation.

This is the last ditch attempt to get out of the friend zone.

Now I am by no means guaranteeing this will work or it's even right! As I am going on what you've said, and I obviously don't know you guys. But if anything here rings bells - go for it and don't just pass on it because of the strength of your oneitis.

Good luck, and remember. After 2 months of what seems like a close friendship, despite what your friend says, I don't think she will 'chase you'.

Hope it works out, let us know...no doubt this situation will make a good joke some day, so chin up man haha.

Riot.

_________________
Using situational openers?
Throwing yourself in?
Able to flow conversationally from every good or bad comment they make?
That's the way its done.
The only game is natural game.

Riot i appreciate the advice bro!

I have to say that we have kissed or made out EVERYTIME we have hung out. a couple of times her pulling me back in for more kissing when i tried to leave. so i'm confident that i'm not in the friend zone. i read somewhere that when girls classify you as a friend they think of you like their brother and girls dont kiss their brother so i think i'm good but who knows maybe this could change. what do you think?

i do think i need to forgot about her for a bit and pursue other women so she doesnt become a oneitis. with more options i think i will stop putting her on a pedestal.

Haha man, thats a pretty big thing to forget to say

Thats improved your chances slightly, but it does all still seem a bit cosy and friend like. Almost like friends with benefits...your close, and you make out, but doesn't seem like a really big hot attraction.

Its all become too comfortable and easy for her.

For yourself, and for this to work, shake things up a bit.

Oneitis is a bad thing, not just game wise but also for confidence. It makes you paranoid wether she likes you, posting questions on forums...sound familiar ? haha, joking about the last bit.

But seriously, I think it'll do everyone a favour for you to pursue other girls, leave her alone a bit, and get out there. You'll eventually ween of the oneitis, and if she is at all interested it'll put the fire back and when you return 'an improved man' (best trick in the book;return with some form of change) she'll be very pleased about it if not, well, at least you've spared yourself that all too familiar oneitis heartache.

Good luck bro. Let me know what happens with this!

_________________
Using situational openers?
Throwing yourself in?
Able to flow conversationally from every good or bad comment they make?
That's the way its done.
The only game is natural game.

this is def an eye opener and i am starting to see past my emotions and think logically so hopefully i can follow thru with what you are saying. and i will let you know how it goes.

thanks!