Field reports and validation



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:32 am 
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I will never write a field report, lay report, or seldom even tell friends about my accomplishments. Searching for validation is never a good thing, especially when it comes to relationships. Do it for you, not for making your friends think you're a pimp. I know, I know that most of you will say "I'm doing it for educational purposes and to correct my game," or to "provide educational value for other people's game," but I know you really are checking your thread every 15 minutes for new posts telling you how awesome you are. I know this because I would do the same thing, which is why I avoid them altogether.

Anyways, every persons perspective and frame is totally different. That goes for the sarger and the sarged. This means that no FR situation can be made generic enough for a it to be translated perfectly into information useful for a third party without them properly understanding the depth of their inner game and psychology (and if they are at this point then the information probably won't be too insightful to them). The more you brag, gloat, post FR's, cut ticks into your bed post, the more reliant you will be on others to have high self esteem.

In my opinion, at least for me anyways, stopping yourself from having these kind of validation seeking thought patterns outside of game, will greatly help you with your ability to interact with women in the field. Your AA will decrease, rejection will phase you less, your subtle supplicating manners such as agreeing will vanish, and you will come across as much less needy. For me this is one of the biggest turnaround sticking points that has changed my life in the last year, and I think people should incorporate even a little bit of this philosophy into their own lives.

Please share thoughts or similar/opposing views.

(Originally written for SM's thread, but I went on a huge rant off topic.)

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:44 am 
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I'm not a big fan of field reports or lay reports either. As far as I know, half if not more is bullshit. I do have slight faith in the reports that illustrate a specific point, or have a worthwhile moral; usually they are short and leave out unnecessary details.

I understand however if someone had a good night and wants to share what happened. It can be fun, youre excited- you just have to ask yourself while your writing it "Is this for me, or to help someone else" because as I see it, thats the point of them anyway. I used to brag to my friends in HS when I got laid, but I'm over it. With that said I feel MOST(not all) are egonomical and a waste of time/energy on the side of all involved.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:13 am 
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I have this folder on my computer with photos of all the girls I have met. It's like my trophy room, but I respect women and I don't brag about it and I will never show the photos to anyone.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:25 pm 
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Plethora, I agree with you partly, but only because a lot of the field reports that get written ignore their real point. Just read the sub-header of the topic: "Share your in-field experiences: what worked and didn’t work, and what you learned." The majority of FRs ignore this element and just come out as brag reports, which I'm personally not interested in reading. I think I've written two FRs, neither of which was too impressive in terms of what I accomplished, but I made a point to note what seemed to work, or lessons I got out of it, and I think these things can help people.

When I read FRs, I'm careful to check out who wrote them. For instance, JSmooth and Ezoghoul FR are great. Whereas many of the other sections on the forum talk about single techniques or PUA subjects in isolation, a good FR should be a full story which captures a number of PUA elements in action and in context. Then you can look at things like how someone effectively used push-pull. Or you can evaluate how someone got shot down using a certain technique so you can identify what went wrong and how to avoid it when you try to put it into use.

It's for these reasons that I like FRs. I just think people need to minimize the brag parts and the unnecessary details, and focus on the analytical breakdown: what you specifically did in terms of pick-up, and worked or didn't work. Of course, you need to have faith that the person giving the FR is being truthful that they did this, but if you believe it, FRs are great learning tools. To compare it to business school, I look at other sections like reading sections from a textbook, and FRs are like case studies; you need both.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:19 pm 
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I will probably never write a field report and definitely never a lay report. It has been a long-standing policy of mine to never talk about what goes on between a woman and I with anyone except that woman. It's really nobody else's business, I can't benefit in any way from bragging (except for an insubstantial ego boost that I don't need anyway) and in my opinion, doing so hacks away the foundation of the trust built between me and whatever lucky lady is my current object of affection.

My stand-by reply for when I'm asked about my sexual exploits has always been, "A gentleman never kisses and tells." This has infuriated my friends for years and now you all are going to have to live with it too :D

(P.S. Did I mention how attractive this quality is to the ladies when I mention it in conversation? :D)


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:38 pm 
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Beschatten is waiting for Chief to respond to this*

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 5:19 pm 
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My stand-by reply for when I'm asked about my sexual exploits has always been, "A gentleman never kisses and tells."
true also of every guy i've ever met who women really love.

there's nothing that turns a woman off more than KNOWING you are going to talk about her to other people. took me a long time in pickup to figure that out, and it really fucked up some good things.

you can teach without bragging. in fact, you can teach better.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:13 pm 
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Plethora, I agree with you partly, but only because a lot of the field reports that get written ignore their real point. Just read the sub-header of the topic: "Share your in-field experiences: what worked and didn’t work, and what you learned." The majority of FRs ignore this element and just come out as brag reports, which I'm personally not interested in reading. I think I've written two FRs, neither of which was too impressive in terms of what I accomplished, but I made a point to note what seemed to work, or lessons I got out of it, and I think these things can help people.

It's for these reasons that I like FRs. I just think people need to minimize the brag parts and the unnecessary details, and focus on the analytical breakdown: what you specifically did in terms of pick-up, and worked or didn't work. Of course, you need to have faith that the person giving the FR is being truthful that they did this, but if you believe it, FRs are great learning tools. To compare it to business school, I look at other sections like reading sections from a textbook, and FRs are like case studies; you need both.
Ok, the theory behind sharing infield insights sounds nice. I just don't feel it is possible to separate ego from the story. I think it is hard for people to break down emotionally charged and ego-centric encounters in a completely dissociated, scientific manner, where they truly do not care what other people think about it. That's why I feel it is unhealthy for the poster, and misleading for the reader.
Quote:
I will probably never write a field report and definitely never a lay report. It has been a long-standing policy of mine to never talk about what goes on between a woman and I with anyone except that woman. It's really nobody else's business, I can't benefit in any way from bragging (except for an insubstantial ego boost that I don't need anyway) and in my opinion, doing so hacks away the foundation of the trust built between me and whatever lucky lady is my current object of affection.

(P.S. Did I mention how attractive this quality is to the ladies when I mention it in conversation? :D)
That is so true. The prospect of having sex with you becomes much less of a risk when she feels comfortable she isn't going to get a reputation as a slut.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:44 pm 
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I've read plenty of crash and burn FRs.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:50 pm 
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I've read plenty of crash and burn FRs.
Most of mine are.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:20 pm 
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I've read plenty of crash and burn FRs.
That opens up the case of searching for validation in the form of positive reinforcement and sympathy (even if it isn't conscious when posting). The victim's mindset is a very dangerous thing to have.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:06 pm 
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lol, don't you think you're taking this a little bit aggressively?

I mean some people may just want to share what not to do--and how they crashed and burned or maybe advice on what they could have done.

In terms of validation from a PUA website, I think you would need to have crucial self esteem problems to get validation from a forum website.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:14 pm 
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I mean some people may just want to share what not to do--and how they crashed and burned or maybe advice on what they could have done.

In terms of validation from a PUA website, I think you would need to have crucial self esteem problems to get validation from a forum website.
I don't go into the FR/LR section but you sound pretty defensive of it. Any good reports of yours worth reading? I'll give you my time.

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