I've heard of the "Game" book I should be reading. I'm sorry to say, if it has the answer I'm looking for, I really don't have the money to buy it. At least, I won't for another month or so. Cash is tight right now, and until I start a new job, I can't spend money on something that may be hit-or-miss. So before anyone jumps down my throat for asking a question that may be easily answered in that material, I'm sorry.

I honestly don't think I've ever met a person as awkward and unsure of themselves as me. Even the way I act around my family, looking at photos, I always just stand in a weird way that looks uneasy. I don't know what my problem is, it may be Social Anxiety or something, but all I know is I have a level of confidence so low it's unheard of. I come to you all out of sheer desperation for help. I'm a 20 year-old virgin, and it's never going to get any better unless I do something about it. So I'm trying. I just don't know how to stop looking so weird and uncomfortable all the time. I don't know how to talk to women. I've just been raised for failure, and I'm tired of pitying myself and I just want to change. Is there anyone who can help me get started?

Im new to. but you are going to have a lot of failure be4 u get better. especialy because of the way you act. (if you think your awkward other people will think the same) Try to learn bout the material on this website as much as you can. and also if u really need the book i can give it to you if u private message me ur address.ill mail it to ya and Ill let you borrow it. Oh and also heres a little excercise that made me gain confidence. Just look at yourself in the mirror and tel your self you look sexy. and joke around sayin it when your with your friends and youll start to believe it soon. Oh and also something i learned is if your worried bout wat other people think of ur outer appearance most people dont pay attention cuz there 2 worried bout what they look like.

half a year ago i would say the same thing , but its really a life changing experience. the first thing is to take care of yourself if ull start looking good ull fell better . Try new styles ( not necessarily buying new cloth just different ensembles ) also what i did in order to gain confidence i took my Halloween suit ( its a supersperm outfit =)) and wore it to the nearest mall and started conversations with strangers about nothing it doesn't matter who they are , ask your friends for some help its always easier to do stuff like this in a group.

That Halloween costume idea sounds pretty good, actually. I think I should try that, sometime. And I'm also trying to change my style, but it'll take awhile to buy enough clothes. Does anyone else have anything? I really need help, here.

No one is completely confident. No one. We fake confidence through courage. This is stated by Sean Messenger. Be outgoing dude, we only got one life. You seem to be very insecure. Don't be. Make sure your body language is solid. Back straight, legs spaced out, always lean back comfortably. Walk slowly, scan the room, make eye contact, smile, YOU ARE ALPHA. Once you get your body language all straightened out, you'll see that you have gained more confidence. Whenever you walk through a door, check your body language. During conversation, make sure you're doing the above. Buying "The Game" will help out, follow the excercises. Tell me how it goes!

it takes time, but there are several important things to do:

- first, pretend to be confident in how you act and what you do and say. body language examples: good posture, shoulders back, relaxed, open
- tell yourself how great you are. think "i am the shit" etc. etc. just DONT become arrogant
- give yourself reasons to have confidence in yourself, although this isn't actually necessary for confidence. confidence itself is a reason for confidence.

Thanks for all the tips, guys. The only problem is I'm obviously aware of how my body language is incorrect, otherwise I wouldn't have brought it up. It seems like the more I try to fix it, the worse I get. Oh, well. I'll try harder, I guess.

breathe.

breathe.

breathe.


seriously. you can skip ALL the pua stuff and just work on breathing deeply to create calm, and you'll be more confident than any PUA guru, for real.


learn to breathe into your belly and you will start to feel better every day all the time.

_________________
===

Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

You seem like you really want to change so you will probably learn fast, as for resources and material to be honest most of it is available on this site.
Also don't get too bent out of shape about being broke, I am sure for a while I was the poorest PUA in the world lol I lived off scrap food I found around the house and would go out with no money. However, in true Boy named Sue style you will learn fast, good clothes etc can be done without tbh, they are hella handy but not essential.

As for your confidence I would recommend grabbing a copy of Rules of the game (instead of buying the game), or just starting out with small things such as talking to shop workers and asking directions. Then move up to chatting to random people, just ask someone how their day is going. A way to make this easier is to get out of your usual environment, go to a town that you rarely if ever go to. Lets face it you won't see most people you game again but having the added bonus of knowing you won't even be in that town again will act as training wheels.

Finally a good way to start gaming is with little competitions with your buddies, when you are out tell them the person to get the most numbers gets bought one beer from everyone else or something. This keeps it lighthearted and fun, with an edge of competitiveness.

If you need any other ideas just ask and I'm sure me or one of the other guys will help you out

_________________
Troll the trolls
free book http://www.4shared.com/file/123140320/b ... ndows.html

Thanks for the advice, Sean and Jaybot. Tomorrow is my day off, so I could actually do that right away. I really appreciate this.

Well, it didn't go as well as I hoped. Breathing properly doesn't help me much. I always keep trying to fidget when I talk to people, and I turn my body away as I talk. It looks really awkward, but it's completely involuntary, even though I try to correct it. Reading that "Stop Fixing the Symptoms" thread, I think I may be one of those people who need professional help. Because my lack of confidence and anxiety of people is so bad its seriously life crippling. Well, I'm still open for suggestions if anyone still cares. I'd really like to overcome this somehow.

Something I've started doing recently to both stop me fidgeting and open me up more (make me look more confident), is put my hands in my back pockets when I'm talking to someone. Try it; stand up, pull your shoulders back, chin up, legs spaced, hands in your back pockets with your thumbs sticking out and put an image of yourself in your head looking confident, composed and ready to take his pick out of every woman in the room who wants a shot at you.

Hope that helped!

I've tried to break myself of putting my hands in my pocket and crossing my arms, so I look more open and less defensive. I never tried the back pockets. I have the feeling I'll just end up looking dumb, but I'll try just about anything at this point. Eventually something has to work, right?

As I've said in near every thread I've posted in, and still feel the urge to, I'm no expert (quite the opposite), but here are my thoughts;

Putting your hands in your front pockets or crossing your arms is indeed going to make you look more defensive, but when you put your hands in your back pockets you're really opening yourself up. Do it and look in the mirror.. you're completely exposing yourself to any sort of attack, and hence showing that you're not afraid of anything. It'd have thought that it was showing your alpha side (and you DO have one, it's just, like me and no doubt others posting in the newbie section, you have to find it and let it out!)?

If someone with more experience could either confirm or deny this I'd also be really appreciative, as it's the stance I've started to take up when talking to chicks and I don't really know what else to do without looking nervous myself.

I'm sure you're right. It makes sense, really. It's just I've never seen any other guy do it. It seems more like a girl thing to put hands in the back pocket. Maybe I'm just being an insecure idiot, or thinking about things too much like I tend to do. Still, it's worth a try.