I recently realized an interesting phenomenon going on in regard to the past few girls that I've asked out. Before I reveal this happening, here's what all the girls have in common (the "common denominators")
-All are pretty good looking (HB 7.5-8.5)
-I wouldn't consider any of them to be slvts, they don't sleep around with a bunch of guys
-I knew all of them a little - varying on the particular girl - before I asked them out (and got rejected, whether it was a LJBF or getting stood up).
-None had been dating anyone recently, and all were single at the time.

The last fact probably gives you a hint of where this is going. About ONE MONTH of me asking them out (and getting rejected), the particular girl in each case became involved in a long-term relationship!


As I mentioned in the thread title, this is just some bizarre happening...or is it? I'd really like to believe the former, but the fact that this has happened more than once or twice - I'm thinking four out of the last five girls I've asked out in the past 2-2.5 years - raises questions. Is it possible that something I could be doing that makes the next guy look so great that he can't lose? I don't think I'm doing anything so badly that the girl would think, "well atleast this guy is no All-American, so I'll give it a shot." FYI, The guys are all strangers to me, I don't know them and they don't know me.

What do you think...coincidence? Or am I the unintentional "good luck charm" for every other guy?

I know this comes off as some sort of rant, but it's not. If there really is something I might be doing that is so "off-base" than any other guy will look like Prince Charming as a result, any insights would be appreciated.

Again, I'm sure this is probably just some odd coincidence, but I just want to make sure.

You have to act like your the prize. You need to be able to convince them that its a privalage to date you. If youre unsure about the girl rejecting you, make a more informal approach to the date. Get a group of friends to go out to dinner or the bar. Be the center of attention, and show the people around you, including your target, that you are the party. Show the target that she should be worthy of dating you. I think if a girl has the right mindset, itll be cake for you.

Good point Dasher...however it's a little off-base for this question.

I'm not asking "how do I score a date?," which you give a pretty good answer for. I'm wondering:

A.) I meet girl I am interested in, we develop a little rapport and we get along well.
B.) I ask girl out, she says LJBF, she flakes, etc.
C.) Within one month, the girl has found a steady, LTR boyfriend!

Again, this trend has happened about four of the last five girls I've asked out. All of the girls are in the 7.5-8.5 range, not slvts, and had been single for awhile (they don't date just for the sake of dating).

So my question...is this just some odd coincidence, or is the girl finding a LTR so soon after I ask her out - 4 out of the last 5 times - based off something I'm doing?

The part that's in your control is not a coincidence IMO. You're probably a 'nice guy', as are many here, myself included, and may need to work on your game in that respect.
As for them going off on LTRs with other guys, I think the timings have been coincidental, but I guess it would be inevitable they'd find someone at some point.

Well it's true that they'd find someone for a LTR eventually...but 4 outta the last 5 times IN JUST ONE MONTH? I mean they are attractive, but they hadn't been recently dating. Just strange I guess.

As for the other point, I agree that I side more towards "nice guy" than "jerk" if you had to pick one. I've been more "in-the-middle" lately, but if I'm forced to pick one, I'll choose to be the respectful person rather than the jerk who couldn't care less about anything.

Try not being respectful. Because your natural tendancy is to be nice, I doubt you'll vere over into jerkdom. You'll just be less nice guy and more even guy.

That makes sense, but it's easier said than done. Not because I can't even myself out, but it seems I have no gray area. What I meant by respectful is looking the girl in the eye, listening to what she says (and remembering it in a conversation), etc.

Back to what you said...During high school and at the start of college, I was a little too "nice," doing what I could to avoid escalating a conflict. This past semester, however, I've begun putting my foot down on a lot more issues. When someone is being disrespectful, they're know about it (I don't throw a tantrum, but I am stern). You would think this makes me more "even", but instead the other person just gets pissed (i.e. person kept asking me for notes in a class, I told them they have to show up and make an effort b/c I can't do their work for them, they didn't see why they were wrong).

Overall though, you do make a good point. I'll figure out how to work on being a little more "even," although being a jerk isn't really what I'm good at .

I'm going to say what no one else has.

No, it's not something your doing.

It really is just a coincidence that these girls are getting into LTRs after you try and date them.

However, the fact that the girls are in LTRs that don't involve you is your fault.

Where do you think you're going wrong? Clearly your attitude is something you want to work on, but what else is there?

Cinnamon

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OK, now with the sternness, do something different.

While having a conversation, look her straight in the eye and say, "The way you are looking at me is such a turn on. You better stop it." Then curl a smile

She'll giggle and look away then look back and giggle again. Then you should try for a kiss close.

Cinnamon - I think some of the attitude problems I give off here is frustration; I'm in a bit of a rut girl-wise. I kinda feel that something should be working by now, but it's not, and that's where my frustration stems from. Anyway, I'm far from perfect and I don't have the smoothest game by any means, but I don't make any dumb mistakes and I keep a level head. My main flaws are that I overthink things and you can tell when I'm a bit uncomfortable in a situation (I don't mask it very well, but it's not super obvious either...most of the time I become more shy).

Sincerelee - haha I like that idea...however I don't do this particularly with girls I could be attracted to. Some of these situations where I have to put my foot down involves guys (friends of mine) or girls who either are or aren't attractive - if they're disrespectful, they will know about it. It's not really a date setting where this happens.