Alright, I've had some serious laughs reading these!
Anyway, heres goes mine.
Me and this girl are hooking up, which actually caused ALOT of drama with the girl that I had a major case of ONE-itis on this summer..and I still definitely kinda have a thing for her..but that is another story.
So, Im spending the night at this HB7's house. We have been watching movies and finally I get bored and make a move (it is about 2 AM). So we are kissing and all and when I go to reach my hands down her pants she stops and says dont you think we should go in my room (ofcourse her parents were home and the living room was not a place we should be hooking up lol) So I agree. We get to her room and something like this happens
Her: *takes off shirt and bra*
Me: You have the second nicest tits I have ever seen!
Her: *wtf look* Is that a joke or are you serious?
Me: umm....errr...well
Her: What the fuck?! Your gunna have to make up for that one!
Me: *thinks to myself* THANK GOD I didnt fuck up too bad...

When I said this I still to this day do not know what the hell I was thinking...but it really was the truth, they were the second nicest tits I had ever seen! :P

"I'MMA GIVE YOU HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"

^That was my opener. I yelled it. Loud. At a fifteen-year-old girl. Who was sitting right next to her mother. At a wedding.

stormy wins most ballsy opener award of the year

The bride of that wedding refuses to allow her husband to invite me over to her house, or anywhere else for that matter.

The husband thought it was funny.

Also, it didn't work.

And I was pretty drunk.

hahaha. That sucks, girls can definitely be bitches (no offense to the women on this forum). One too many glasses of the free champagne at weddings...oh how lovely they are.

My LTR ex-gf and I were happily cuddling in my bed one day and she said "I wish we could be like this and just cuddle forever and ever" or something to that effect.

The first response that popped into my head was "That's a scary thought." I have no idea why I didn't stop myself from saying that out loud.

It turned out that this opener worked, but I thought it was hella stupid at the time.

My friend Amazon and I were at a costume party together. Amazon's a really alpha chick (just ask Chief), and she was giving me shit about my game (deserved, because I was in a slump and wasn't pulling. Or hooking). Anyway, there was some girl there in a bee costume.

Amazon: "Go up to her and say, 'hey, are you the queen bee?'"
Me: "Are you serious?"
Amazon: "Yep."

During the walk over, I couldn't think about anything but how stupid I felt doing this. There was no way in hell that this opener would work. I'd get a "pssh, whatever" and a blowout. But hey, I'd be able to blame Amazon for it. It was her stupid idea.

*tap tap*
Me: "Hey, are you the queen bee?"

I delivered this opener with extra cheese. Big smile, "player eyebrow," bordering on sarcastic.

Girl: "Hee hee!"

She fucking ate it up and was grinding on me like ten seconds later.

I still can't believe that worked.

But hey, lesson learned: you can open with anything.

That's funny cuz i used the "come on, you know you want to" line and it actually worked

but yeah i've said some dumb things....in 6th grade i asked one of the hottest girls in my class if they wanted to go out with me without ever talking to her. Of course she said she needed to concentrate on her work and couldn't deal with a relationship now. It was a total lie, but she was nice about it.

Pretty good thread here,
Anyways the stupidest thing i ever said would have to be when I was trying to game this HB8 who was pretty short. The conversation went something like this

Red Bull: WOW, I finally found a use for you, your head is the perfect height for an arm rest! (putting my arm on the top of her head)

Thats probably it, I tend to think before i speak

(My horrible first attempt at a disqualifier) "Let me vomit on you."

HAHAHAHAHA man i can just picture you saying this
this made my day thanks lol

*Note to self: never compare woman's tits to others that you've seen.

I actually just said my stuppidest this past week. I was texting this one girl and she told me "I have to go catch a plane" so I thought of what cazy thing I could respond so I texted back "Don't get airsick" Needless to say she didn't text me back that day or...ever again. Thus proving that even seasoned puas are not above male stupidity.

_________________
All the world is a stage, but the play is badly cast!
-Oscar Wilde

I know mine the convo went;
Me: Hey what do you guys think of my shoes, everyone keeps saying they look gay
HB mother hen hears but ignores looks at me implying I should repeat myself, I did (big mistake)
HB MH: I didn't get that can you say it again
at this point I hadn't eaten or slept properly in days so was in no mood for games, so I turn away from them
HB MH: oh your shoes is that what stinks
I turn and without thinking say "nope thats your ego" to the mother hen(pure subconscious rage) , it got some laughs but I learnt several things that night, sleep and eat properly before sarging and never EVER insult the mother hen unless you have built rapport with the rest of the group.

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I just remembered another classic from the AFC days.

A little backstory; me and a friend had both got with the same girl, being the good buddies we are we decided to share her, so on different nights it would be whoever got with her first got her for the night. We had also been hunting for a girl that me and him could have a threesome with, long story but it involves wanting high fives and drinking beer during sex lol. Anyways we were at a house party, when;
Me: (to HB) So are we going to get together tonight?
HB: What both of you?
Me & friend: No I meant...
HB: OK
(me and friend think about it)
Me & friend: oh fuck no wait we meant yes, c'mon please etc etc


So close yet so far, I got another wicked story about our adventures for a threesome I may post in a while.

_________________
Troll the trolls
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