Johnny, thank you for the quick reply and making me feel not crazy lol.

I'm currently viewing the Intro to Seductive Reasoning part 3 and you mentioned that you never get jealous at all and that you passed that phase along time ago when you realized that you didn't like yourself.

I noticed just recently that I'm a jealous person. I never noticed it before. For example, I'm close friends with a girl that I know. On Friday night, I invited her, her sister, my cousin, and other people to a night club. That night I ended up making out with my friend while my cousin and my other friends were elsewhere. The next day I was looking at her profile page on myspace and noticed that she made friends with my cousin. My cousin is known as a big time player and naturally, I felt like my heart sank and I got jealous. I got jealous, concerned, and worried because deep down I know that I don't have nearly a quarter of the game that he has.

I hate this feeling, Johnny. Especially because I love my cousin and my friend very much and it would hurt me if my jealousy got the best of me and my relationships. This feeling has left me feeling sour and feeling weird for the last couple of days. I don't want to be concerned about whether or not my cousin takes my friend. I don't even want to worry or stress over it. How did you completely overcome your jealousy? Was it due to a series of events? Self-realization or something that you experienced in your life? I know deep down inside that this feeling won't do me any good and yet it bugs the shit out of me to know that I'm pretty jealous. It's not sexy and to me it's not healthy. I self-reflect on this subject daily but I feel stuck in a hole that I haven't been able to climb out of. I'm seeking for your guidance because you have the attitude that I truly want to live by.

Thanks in advance.

_________________
"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he did nothing because he could do only a little." - Edmund Burke

Yo Porno,

I was wondering how you deal with relationships. You mentioned earlier that women find guys that 'bend' to their will un-sexy. Now are there exceptions to the rule in a relationship? Like compromising travel plans and dates, or she says "I like it when you stroke my hair" or simple little favors like that? It's really hard to tell what is considered bending and just doing something for someone you care about.

Tips?

_________________
I'm addicted to facing my fears.

Doing something considerate is NOT bending; neither is compromising to ensure both parties are well-served!

When I describe "bending", what I mean is FAILING TO MAINTAIN YOUR INTEGRITY; compromising YOURSELF to comply to an unacceptable WHIM on a girl's part - whenever it should take place, whether "IN A RELATIONSHIP" or in an initial date.

For example:

She: "Ooh, my company is having a masquerade party! Come with me, we'll go as ballerinas, we'll get matching pink ballet tutus!"

You: "No! That sounds awful... Let's come up with something else..."

She: "Aw, C'mon... I can get the material and make them for us, and you'll look SO CUTE and everyone will love it!..."

You: "Not acceptable. It doesn't appeal to me, I don't want to wear that."

She: "You've just saying that 'cuz you think you'll look gay, or silly, or people will laugh at you... if you really wanted to make me happy, you'd wear it!"

No matter how hard she tries to wear you down, IF YOU GIVE-IN to this 'passive-aggressive manipulation', YOU ARE BENDING!. UNLESS she asks you to do it 'AS A FAVOUR' - in which case, implicit in the request is the understanding that she APPRECIATES what you are doing is a gift to her, and that you are not merely bending to her will.

IF she means enough to you, OR you want to INDULGE HER WILLINGLY, you might OFFER to do this for her as a favour, preemptively (before she asks explicitly) BUT YOU MUST NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE 'Guilt Tripped' or 'prodded' into it! It must be recognized an act of YOURS FOR HER, and not one where 'she wore you down'.

You: "This really isn't something which I want, BUT IF IT MEANS THIS MUCH TO YOU, I would do it for you AS A FAVOUR. Is that what you want?"

She (version 1): "No, it's not that important to me, I just thought you'd look really good, and figured we'd have a good time with it..."
(YOU MUST MAINTAIN YOUR RESOLVE HERE, AND NOT AGREE TO DO IT, NO MATTER HOW MANIPULATIVE OR PERSISTENT SHE BECOMES, UNLESS SHE RECOGNIZES IT EXPLICITLY 'AS A FAVOUR'!)

She (version 2): "Oh, would you? Yes, please - It'd mean a lot to me!"
In which case, since you are CLEARLY not 'bending', but rather MAKING AN EXCEPTION, BECAUSE YOU EXPLICITLY WANT TO PLEASE HER, SHE WILL APPRECIATE YOU MORE and feel inclined to indulge YOU in return sometime, to return the favour.

Once you ESTABLISH YOURSELF, and prove that you WILL NOT BEND, although you may explicitly indulge a direct request for a FAVOUR (since it implies appreciation, or even gratitude) you will be seen as A MAN, and she will treat you with the respect A MAN deserves.

If you compromise yourself to suit her, when she is NOT appreciative, but rather feels "AHA, I have him WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER!" she will treat you as her slave, and lose ALL RESPECT for you.


Is that clearer?

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

Yeah thanks a lot Porno

_________________
I'm addicted to facing my fears.

Hey johnny.

Let me explain a recent situation, I met one girl while out with friends (she was afriend of a friend) and in this meeting for half an hour we bickered, and argued. Even trading insults at one point!

Over the past three days I've ran phone game after she texted me to say sorry, i had phone conversations that lasted HOURS, so far she has admitted to me that, since she has met me, she has started craving for sex and various other details.

I wanted to use this opportunity as I felt much of the attraction and comfort at this stage had been built on the phone.

I asked her what it was in specefic that attracted her to me, One thing in particular struck me, she said I "listened rather than waited to speak".

Looking back I had been a bit of an "emotional tampon" as some people might harshly refer to it.

Could you shed some light? Where does emotional tampon end and intimate listening lover begin?

Thanks

Sounds like a solid basis for a relationship! Seriously though, what it establishes is an elementary-school style interest in one-another!
Fantastic! First of all, that is a WONDERFUL compliment to receive, especially if she means it genuinely, because it suggests that SHE FEELS YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY!

Nothing makes ANYONE more attractive that their being interested in what you have to say, right?
She wasn't venting at you, complaining about her lover, whining about how her lovelife isn't working and how she can't find any men to love her... so you weren't being an 'Emotional Tampon' at all

I have a simple motto, sort of a 'mantra' for myself, which I tell other people fairly early-on in our relationship...

"Other People's Drama is MY COMEDY!"

If she complains about things where the solution is CLEAR AND OBVIOUS but she refuses to take the necessary action to eliminate the problems, then she is bringing you DRAMA.

I pre-warn both guys and girls, if they come to me to tell me about a situation, and they ask me for my advice; listen to my advice; agree it is the correct solution; and then return another time to complain about the same things, having NOT IMPLEMENTED THE SOLUTION, I will be unable to keep from laughing out loud, right in their face, and making fun of them for their foolishness...

This has a PROFOUND effect on causing people to TAKE MY ADVICE, (and thereby solve their own problems) OR to NOT return to vent to me about the same Drama over and over again.

Your listening to, and learning about this girl IS GREAT STUFF! Go with it!

Just don't fail to escalate things into a real-world physical relationship. Don't LET HER DOWN by not following up with making her a Playmate, instead of 'just a friend'.



Let us know how it goes!

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy http://PickingUpPornstars.com

Steve P, Zan, Hypnotica, and many other famous Community gurus and coaches will be joining us, as well as a myriad of beautiful mainstream Porn Stars, to help get you ready for the time of your life - and the beginning of your Next Level!

Johnny Soporno
JohnnyS@AlphaQueue.com[/img]

A couple more things for you, since your probably losing interest in this thread .

You talk alot about the ideas behind why women want men to succeed in picking them up and how self satisfaction leads to being more attractive and what not, but how do you not end up being the "nice guy" in situations with women if all you are doing is complementing them?

Id really like to know what techniques you use to pick-up, whether its alot of comfort building and kino, or straight up honesty with the ladies and if thats the trick, then do all of them accept your honesty or do alot throw it back in your face as if you might have been some loser who they didnt give a chance. (I'm in no way insinuating that you are).

Sorry if that didnt make sense, i just got back from a flight to New york and im jetlagged. Thanks!

Thanks - I'm not losing interest, but I am slightly surprised that so few people have actually asked me anything!
Interesting - First I need to establish whether you meant "complimenting them" and just SPELLED "complementing them"?

Definition http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/compliment vs
Definition http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/complement

If what you meant was to imply the meaning in the FIRST word, then the answer is simple "You can't."

If ALL you are doing is telling them how wonderful they are, they will rapidly lose-interest, and cease considering your praise as having any merit.

If you meant the SECOND meaning, then wouldn't having an ideal match for oneself be something everyone would crave?
Heh - I generate comfort by being COMPLETELY at ease with myself, and unhurried/unconcerned about any particular 'outcome' of the interaction. I am VERY playfully confident, and I treat every women as though WE ARE ALREADY SLEEPING WITH ONE ANOTHER.

I am completely honest and forthright, sometimes 'over-the-top' in fact, which can be very disarming, when presented by someone who presumes true familiarity, and broadcasts that they offer 'non-judgmental acceptance' to the woman, regardless of her answers.

Because whomever I am with can't help but sense my own degree of self-acceptance, successfulness, and harmony-with-the-world, I tend never to get dismissed except by very drunk or impaired girls, or 'alpha females' in large groups of women.... but I can virtually always recover through playfulness and curiosity, and by treating anything dismissive as merely cute.

Hope that's helpful!

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

I've always been a good listener, and I agree that is the primary DHV any person can demonstrate to another. In your videos you mention things you would say in the first five minutes. I'm interested in what, in an average interaction, you would say in the first five minutes, to a woman you're interested in, from start to finish.

I've watched the video a few times, and though you may have started it isn't clear whether you got very far. Mostly due to interruptions, questions, and your usual witticisms (clearly there is at least one -ism you believe in).

_________________
Artax
Devil's Advocate

"You're only as young as the women you feel."
"I am the Master of my unspoken words, and the Slave to those words that should have remained unsaid."

This is often asked of me, and I will explain what I always explain:

DOING WHAT YOU WATCH ME DOING, AND SAYING WHAT YOU HEAR ME SAYING, WILL NOT GET YOU WHAT YOU SEE ME GETTING! - at least, not until your mindset and frame are as solid as mine; at which point, you won't ever NEED to copy me, you'll naturally know what to say.
Actually, the one -ism I'm MOST concerned with is Jism, and it should be licked off of a girlfriend's face by another girlfriend, ideally.

Have you watch the entire 6 hour long Intro to Seductive Reasoning? www.SeductiveReasoning.com

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

I understand what you're saying, and copying you wasn't exactly what I was getting at. I am a very different person from you, and though I have a similar outlook my experience is quite different. I was of course hoping not to get into lengthy explanations of my experience, mindset, frame, and such as it would take some time indeed to type it out.

This may be why you don't get many questions as there are probably few who post on these boards who will ever be in your "league." Your experience is unique, and just figuring out what to ask is difficult at best. It requires anyone to see they actually have something in common with you to even know what to ask.

Yes, I have seen the entire 6 part series of videos, several times, and learned a great many things. I've even converted two of them to the same format so I could watch them in the same media player. It helped me recently when I was metaphorically dragged, kicking and screaming, to a place light-years from my comfort zone. I don't know if you've ever been dragged metaphorical before, but it was nearly a survival mode moment for me.

I'm older than you, and a good deal heavier than you. I don't have years of experience with beautiful women, in fact my experience is quite limited. However, a little over a month ago I had a foursome with three dancers, and it took everything I've learned in the past two years not to fuck it up before it started. Not surprisingly I found that I liked it. I am interested in how they think. Though none of them live near me, I still talk and correspond with them regularly.

The question was asked so I could understand you better, as well as to know how your approach is handled. I have watched Sean and Hypnotica pick-up on Mehow's videos, and while I haven't copied them either I still learned a lot from watching them. Men who are naturally good with women can never be copied, but the concepts that underlie their interactions still become apparent. Since this is a purely verbal medium, "what you say" is all I can ask. I can only hope everyone else who reads this realizes the same things as I.

_________________
Artax
Devil's Advocate

"You're only as young as the women you feel."
"I am the Master of my unspoken words, and the Slave to those words that should have remained unsaid."

I'm THRILLED to learn of your progress!
That sounds AWESOME
Ok - in that case, here's a little conversation I had with a lovely girl I met in a nightclub a few months back - We had been chatting for about 20 mins before I snuck her away from her date, to shoot this with my blackberry, so forgive the shoddy camerawork!

http://www.flickr.com/gp/13759541@N00/733fU8

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

hey johnny how would you help a friend get over a girl?

Personally, I'd call up some girlfriends and take him out with me and the girls, hoping his spirit would cheer up because of the pheromonal impact of the new women around him...

There's nothing like positive female attention to renew a man's libido, or his sense of self.

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy