The length of this post is unacceptable, I realize I need to keep it shorter (I'm trying Biznatch):
"You know how busy I am~ I can't just go out and drink with every (color of her hair) girl." I like that Playerone.
I look at it thus:
I do not know your style but you seemed to be pretty sociable and chill. I'm thinking you are maybe over analyzing. Bud analyzing IS good.
What I see with my super awesome mazd skilz (I wish) is you are at a point where she has to decide. Relationship or not. Right time? Who knows. Remember girls are heavily influenced by their feelings.
Man: Alright let's put the vase there so we can drop gum in it.
Woman: What a lovely vase! Look at its intricacy it looks so... it makes me feel so...
It's double-edged sword because on one hand women can have their emotions inspired which makes it easier for guys to win them over. On the other hand seemingly retarded shit can set them off.
[Guy breaks treasured vase]
Guy: Uh-oh I think that costs about $1000.
[Realize her thoughts come mostly from how she's feeling]
Girl: Oh Jesus, he is not even careful enough to watch out for my beautiful vase. That vase made me feel so... he doesn't respect me. If he respected me he would have been more careful.
Sometimes the problem is with the girl. In order for you to get your way (usually), you have to "set your frame" I believe that is the term. You know who you are and where you are coming from. Its kind of risky but, ask her in a calm and very relaxed manner to not flake on you and tell her what she did that made you feel her flakes.
I find the attitude (that works best for me) should be like you are aggressively telling a team mate what to do EXCEPT, that you are calm nonthreatening (you really have no reason to be threatening unless you are desperate, and you are not). I'm basically saying have good body language.
You may win her you may loser her (risk), if she is emotionally strong she'll probably get the message, if she is too involved with her emotions, then maybe right now is not a good time for her. Just build that rapport using your mad style and that's about the best you can do.
Don't sweet it too much because:
1. It may come across as desperate.
2. It might tend to make you feel bad (you deserve to feel good, seriously).
3. Do you really want a flaky girl that much?
4. Didn't you say someone in her family died? That's tough stuff.