Hey guys, Okay, this has been on my mind lately and i can't get it out of my head. Okay here is the situation.

I have a lady friend who goes way back. She lives 2 hours away from me so we don't really see each other often. The first time i saw her was.. well.. she was not that attractive. She was about a 4. She was a heavy set girl but her personality is great, that's why we get along so well. I mean i only see her as a friend, but at that time, come to find out that she liked me. Anyways, time passed by and we both got our own lives and relationships. She has a bf now and i'm bout to be engaged.

Now.. I've seen her about 4 months ago, and she looked good! She got really skinny and her personality is still the same! She has a bf so I didn't really get into that, that much. Of course, I still see her as a friend, and I believe that she still sees me the same, as a friend. But now, our conversation is more sexual and erotic, well about our own behalfs.

Okay, now the run down is over, I just saw her the other day and DAMN!!! She loooks HOT!!! It was kind of funny since the other day she was mentioning that she and her bf was having problems because there was an ugly girl who wanted to get wit him. That's when she ask me to compare them two. I told her my honest opinion and said she was 7 to 7.5. But she could have a potential of being 8 to 8.5. (I wasn't even tryin to pick her up)We left it at that. But when i saw her! 9 to 9.5! I was just stunned and didn't know what to say. I mean we had fun, just walking around the mall, shopping for her bf. I was okay with it, because I was still in the friend mode. I was even talkin up her bf asking her what he likes, and what style he wears. Then she said that " I was so sweet, thinking about her bf, while all he could think about is getting with another girl" I was confused, and ask her what does she means. She told me that recently they are in an "open" relationship.

After that, I was doing more kino than usual. Even the conversation was a little flirtatious. When I made a comment that she could be naughty all herself, she ask me and looked at me in a playful seductive look " are you sure?". After all this, I walked her to her car. She gave me a long hug, and said that we should talk more often. I agreed, and she was actually just standing there for a while. I mean it felt like she was waiting for something. I just waived and said goodbye. She said bye and went inside her car.

Sorry for the long post. Like i said, i feel like venting because i was wondering if I should've really went there. Should've I pulled the trigger and say "fuck it?" I don't know. Any suggestions or explanations would be helpful.

it's pretty simple from what i can tell that she's intersted..
the fact she told u she in open relationship is a strong ioi.. especially if she went out of her way to let u know that??
Meet her again casually.. then change scene like get her back to yours to watch movie...
I think you'll manage from there,rite?:)

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i wanna be a master..

Are you still engaged?

More importantly, is this girl worth the fact that you could be losing your fiancee over her?

I'm in an open relationship and it's pretty good for me, but it sounds like she isn't happy about her arrangement. Which is too bad for her.
Now, in open relationships there is always a 'Main'. In her case, her and her current boyfriend are probably each other's Main.

What does this mean for you?
It means if you DO hook-up with her and if you ARE still engaged you're trading what I'd assume (since you're engaged) is a good, stable relationship, for what will be just a small bout of fun for her once in a while. Unless she's going to make you her main, which is possible since her and her boyfriend are having troubles.
Or, she might decide she wants a monogamous relationship with you, which would mean leaving your fiancee.

Now if you do want to hookup with her, and you are okay with being her Second, and you want to keep your fiancee, then you need to talk with your fiancee.

I cannot stress the importance of communication and honesty enough.

So you need to ask yourself a few questions:

Do you want to keep your fiancee?
Do you want to have this girl as an aside to your fiancee?
Are you prepared to be this girl's aside to her boyfriend?
Are you prepared to potentially be this girl's escape from her open relationship with her boyfriend (coughreboundcough)?
Are you 100% prepared to deal with the fallout that will come of this?
Because there will be one.

I'd like to hear your response, so post back and I'll be waiting.

Cinnamon

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I stopped reading after that...
Say you get with this chick and it all goes well and you're on the brink of commitment, would you do the same again if you met another interesting hot chick who digged you?

Far from me to judge or anything, just curious...

Well i guess there's a question in that too.. I mean.. would it be fair if I try to say something to her now , unlike before, when she liked me but at the time, I find her unattractive after those times that she liked me.. (when she was a four) and now that she looks HOT, now i'm going for her. Doesn't kind of make me look shallow.

And also, I know what you're thinking about my own relationship. I guess it is pretty bad, that i'm in this relationship and i'm feeling like this with my friend at the same time. It is hard, but the thing about this is she knows about my girlfriend, because I did bring it up. I mean like I said, I was in friend mode, and she brought up her bf. I told her that i'm about to pop the question (pretty much engaged). She knew it all!

That's why i'm really trippin about this whole situation!! What else I can do?.. I feel like a straight AFC!!! I forgot to mention, that when I got home, I text her if she got home okay. She told me she did, but she was pissed because her bf was barely going out to see his "friend". I was being sincere and i text her back if she wanted to talk bout it later, well since i was in class. I never got a text back, and when i'm online, she's online, but never try to say somethin.. I don't know what to do! I'm just tryin to concentrate on other things, and if she calls, she calls! Whatever!

Darling, you need to ask yourself what you really want and be honest.

Is the relationship you might have with this girl worth losing the relationship you already have with your soon-to-be fiancee?

This isn't about calling or texting, all that is secondary. You need to work on what you want and you need to know it.

So the question isn't should you have done anything, the question is what do you want?

Answer that and everything else is easy.

Cinnamon

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Well I haven't really popped the question, but I'm about to soon, so yeah I guess you could say that i'm engaged already.

I'm not trying to be smart, but I could lose my fiancee if she finds out about this.


That is very true. She and her bf has been together for about 2 years now and just recently went into a open relationship.


I guess this is really out the window. I'm not sure if I can tell her. I guess i am being selfish, because I want to eat my cake and eat it too.

Of course I do!
I guess. I mean I just hope that if anything does happen between me and my friend, we could still be friends and not be weird about it. I guess a couple of night stands would be fine, not a whole relationship!
Like I said, I don't really care. If my friend is only in it for sex, just to get her bf jealous, or whatever, I don't care. I just don't want it to be weird after all. Girls seems to be all weirded about it!
I guess just as long as she knows that there's not going to be a future with us.(unless just friends) If she's okay that we get together, and still knowing that I have my fiancee and relationship, that would be fine with me!
I'm pretty sure there will be one as well!


I tried to answer all your questions in an honest matter. I'm sorry if I come off as a jerk or an asshole, I'm not tryin to be. I just need help in this matter. I'm not sure if she's tryin to get me with her, and if you could read what i wrote for OmegaMan. A little help to ease my mind.
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Honey, you've already given the answer.

She's a pretty face, sure, but you want to keep your fiancee.

You want a quick fling with this girl, but you need to understand that of you do go through with that, the fallout will be losing your fiancee.

You can say you'll be careful, you can say it'll only be a few times, but one way or another she'll find out, and it will end things.

I'm assuming you're monogamous since you haven't indicated otherwise. If you're not monogamous, get on your horse and get this girl. If you are, drop it like the relationship-ruining-hot-pile-of-feces it is.

You hit the nail on the head, you're being greedy. Stop it, for the sake of your friendship with her and for the sake of your relationship, soon-to-be-engagement.

Cinnamon

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If you wanna keep the girl you have then dont do anything with her.
Keep her as a friend and if you and your fiance break up you can
escalate with the other girl.

okay ladies and gentlemen!.. i'm not doin it! i'm going with the flow. Whatever happens happens.. blueballs anyone??.. haha.. jk.. thanks for all your help..

Its all up to you.... But from the sound of your post you really like
your girl. So dont risk anything you dont wanna lose, is all were saying

Now, I'd tell you to wait just a second there.
The 'whatever happens, happens' attitude is just how you say that you're not going to do anything.

You need to understand that something needs to be done.
You need to talk to your friend and tell her that her signals are wrong and you're not going to do that.

Because you're not going to.

Cinnamon

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