hey guys, i hear stories about guys just using anything as an opener. I saw a video of "Lovedrop" using "Tacos!" as an opener. That stuff looks great, but sounds really strange. Has anyone tried this? Does it work? Also, does anyone have tips on mastering that style. Me and my buddies agree that his style (goofy, oddball) would work well for me because I have a similar personality, but I can't quite crack that code that he seems to have figured out. Anyway, happy gaming boys!

catalyst

Everyone,

This is something that I wrote for a forum newsletter a little ways back. It's one of my favorite things I've written in the dating community and I wanted to share it with you here on my blog. I have revised it a bit from the original version. CHEERS!

Dear Forum Members,

I want to talk to talk to you all today about something serious; it’s a very serious thing. I see far too many people asking for material to use. After reading various posts online I have noticed an ever growing trend from guys that are fairly new in the dating scene. What I am seeing is a large quantity of posts out there where a guy anywhere from day 1 to a few months in the scene is asking for openers, routines, and Demonstration of Higher Value stories to use. Obviously, there are ways to develop these things for yourself, but let me share a revolutionary thought with you. The canned lines themselves DO NOT matter!

Quickly, let's review what a canned line is. Something is said to be "in the can" when you have used it before. "The Can" is actually just your brain. Any store you've told more than once is said to be in the can.

One of my best friends in the dating community is a wizard at opening sets. The guy will absolutely say anything you can think of to a group of girls. He was talking about this one day with me on the phone, and he challenged me to come up with something stupid for him to say to a group of women, and he’d use it. I thought of the first stupid thing that came to mind, which was “Frozen Turkey.” Don’t know why it came to mind, but I figured it wouldn’t work. We made a bet on it that it wouldn't work. The conditions of the bet we'll leave out but he was only allowed to say, "Frozen Turkey" until the girls actually spoke to him.

I hung up the phone with him and starting thinking to myself how it would work. I realized he was going to a bar or night club. I figured it really wasn't related to anything in the bar so he couldn't work it into conversation. I figured he couldn't make a story about it on such short notice since he was driving to the bar as we spoke. I was confident that I was going to win this bet!

Sure enough he called me that very evening from the venue he was at, and told me the results from the group. I was laying back on my couch waiting for the news that he'd been blown out! He walked up to the set, and with a witness watching and said nothing else but “Frozen Turkey,” the group hooked, and if I remember right he walked away with a phone number from one of the girls. I couldn't believe it and I immediately had to figure out why it worked.

This is a pretty odd thing to do just walk up to a group and say something stupid. It goes against most of what we learn here. He knows as I know now that it really does not matter what you open with. What matters is the manner in which you use the words you open with. I later learned that he walked right up to this group sitting at a high top table with bar stools, said “Frozen Turkey” then placed his arm on the table, with his head on his hand, with a big smile, and waiting for their reaction. This worked because of his confident body language and his playful nature with the big smile. This is an extreme example, and it proves the point quit well. This has been repeated many times since then using random dumb stuff.

This goes the same with stories, routines, and comfort building material. It’s not what you say near as much as how you say it to her. So many factors go into play here. Some things to consider are: pausing, verbal pace, verbal patterns, inflection, tonality, various types of body language, and how you embed attraction spikes.

I have heard so many guys and girls say Erik aka Mystery and James Matador are very smooth when they speak. These two are good to mimic for their voice patterns. Most people who are new to the scene seem to focus on what they are saying rather than how they are saying it.

You’ll notice when they open they are opening over the shoulder. They are not walking directly up to the set square to them, because that would make the people in the group very uncomfortable. So they open over the shoulder, with a smile, energy, and enthusiasm, and as the group starts to vibe with him, or hooks, the guy then turns to face the group.

You can tell when talking to someone....that likes to pause....that they seem to....hold your attention for….longer periods of time. When you look at the above sentence you can see the pauses are strategically placed. Also you can see the pattern to the speech. There is a pause then about 4-5 words, and then there is yet another pause, and on we go. This manner….of speaking….will HOLD….your audience….EXACTLY…. where you want them. In this case, your audience is your target and your set that you have approached to open.

Of course, I can teach this stuff all day long to you all. The truth is you know that in order for things to work you have to practice them. You have to constantly practice them. At first, this was uncomfortable and unnatural for me to pause like this during normal conversation. I have actually been using it so much now that I do it subconsciously. I don’t have to actively think about it. It’s the same with most of the things you’ll learn in the community. With enough practice it stops coming from your conscious mind, and is truly an automatic response.

Recently, I had my girlfriend say to me, "When you are trying to make a point of something I noticed that you always slow down your speech and pause." The point of me telling you this is that women do take notice whether you think they do or not.

TIME TO ACT! I encourage you over the course of this next week to pay particular attention to the way you speak. How fast or slow do you speak? Do you use any….pauses? Do you use any inflection or is your words coming out somewhat monotone? Do you see a pattern….with the way you talk? Do you embed any attraction spikes in the things you say? Make notes to yourself as you take note of these things, and try purposely slowing down, adding pauses, inflection, and patterns to what you’re saying. I personally started using a voice recorder to hear what I sound like and played it back. This is a great learning tool. You will see some impressive results! When in doubt just say to yourself, “Frozen Turkey!”


Have a great week everyone,

Jon