Once people watch the first episode from me and fin, you will understand why i looked back over my own posts.
This was the first post i ever put on this forum.
Quote:
Firstly excuse me if I come across as an AFC, maybe it’s because I am.
However, after looking through the forums for a while I need some help with a situation I am going to be in as well as an "in general" question. However, I will start with a little about myself which could possibly be a problem (both in my own confidence and how it comes across)
I have a disability (no sob story intended) from birth, Brittle Bones. Because of it I have had over 60 major bones fractured in my life. It has mainly affected my legs which has caused a few side effects. In regards to women, the most noticeable is the fact I am short (5ft 1, my legs are quite short) and also my legs are very skinny. I also usually use crutches to walk around even tho I don’t need them. This obviously isn’t good and for a start I have some confidence issues with it. However, all is not lost. I frequently get commented on how toned my upper body (arms, six pack etc.) and I am also told I am very attractive in the face. I am also complimented on my sense of humour (I am funny and generally confident, once I am comfortable). I am also intelligent but luckily I can pull this off without seeming to be a swat or such things.
1) So, I guess this is the general question. What can I/should I do about these physical features that are undoubtly unattractive? Is there any way I can get around them and still be successful with women? Any general advice on this sort of thing? I guess I have a bit of AA.
Ok, now the more specific question. About a month ago I meet a girl outside a friend’s house, we were both in our cars and had about a 30second convo. That evening, she added me on facebook and cutting a long story short, we have been IM and txting etc for that time. I have been using negs etc all to success. The whole questions to each other and stuff have gone onto sexual reference etc. We are both very comfortable with talking to eachother and are both happy to talk about anything openly.
However, in a few days I am going on the first proper date and it’s just going to be to a movie. There will be 4 of us there, 1 mutual friend and her bf.
2) My worries are the first approach, even though I feel we know each other very well, when in person things can be a lot different. So I am not quite sure how to play the introduction (well sort of introduction). I really don’t want to C&B and be put into the LJBF category before we start.
3)Also, assuming things go ok and I start kino up etc and I get a response I will make a move, although I am not sure when you guys think would be the best time to make a move. I know there are arguments for the end of the date and also against it. On a side note while talking on webcam, she basically said she wants a kiss during the movie. I am also concerned I won’t pick up on IOI's if she isn’t obvious.
Any help would be appreciated and again sorry if I sound like a AFC, I am new to this
but I am a quick learner
/Madals
So if i could go back, and answer myself. What would i have said?
1) you know that these things arnt that un-attractive. You just convinced yourself they are because you just broke up with your GF. Dont consider yourself your an AFC because you are having a bad time at the moment, think of all the great things you have done in the past. How 90% of the time your great with women and in social interaction. As for confidence, you say your confident when your comfortable. I would put money on the fact your confident even when your not, you just feel a bit akward. Having that feeling doesnt mean your not confident, just use it to help you though it.
2) Have a more positive mindset, again think of all the times it has gone great. It ALWAYS goes great. So rather than going in expecting this time to be different, go in expecting it to be a great experience. Dont go in with expectations, live life in the moment. Turn that big brain off and live life, not your thoughts.
3)Same as number 2.
So why am I writting this post. Because i think its important (especially for people who are "PUA") to realise how much you have achived, how bad you might have thought you were. I realise now, looking back, i wasnt bad. I just expected myself to be. When i did something, it worked. I was confident in the moment, but not confident in preparing for it.
Looking back not only am I proud of myself for how much i have improved, but i am also proud of how much better i understand myself, how i wasnt all that bad to start with.
Everyone should do this imo, look back. Think where you started and how you are now. Look at the difference, appreciate the difference. Feel proud.
Most of all, take that pride and use it to continue to get better.
Madals
CHAT