You use mixed messaged only at the start to elicit IOIs from her. If she is interested in you, she will display it. Simple as. You then return that interest in the form of innuendo, playful teasing and kino, and it pretty much just escalates naturally from there. Once you get to the stage where your comments are more personal, she should respond positively - keep the fun attitude and suggest you actually do it, put your hand out and let her take it. Isolate her. After you kiss, it's smooth sailing.

I dont know about that Lucias, I think they should be more subtle cuz if you overdo it your adding too much value to her.

Actually rofer, what lucias is saying is pretty good. It's a perfect example of building sexual tension. It's open, honest, and unapolagetic. And it does the trick... I actually say stuff like that all the time. Like I said before as long as it's passive and non-reaction seeking, it'll do the trick. I like to call this the "you're hot, so what" principle.

can some one post an example of an SOI?

A statement of intent can be anything from a compliment to outright speaking your mind and telling her what you're thinking. It is important to reiterate that this should be done in a lighthearted, humourous and most importantly, passive manner. Using SOI's and teasing, along with sending mixed signals is what normal folk call flirting.

Your underlying attitude is that she's hot, and of course you'd like to do things to her, but you don't care if you actually get to or not... you're just gonna see what happens.

Great, great post, man.

Elegant and effective. It's so much easier to be the guy who's having a good time and enjoying all people around him, and totally unashamed bout being a sexual man.

Watch "You Don't Mess with the Zohan," to see this at it's most extreme.

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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

and I'd add to this, "Hey, even if we don't "hook up", we can still hook up and hang out."

Believe me this, if you guys figure nothing else out, demonstrating/telling her the above is the ringer and there are a thousands of different ways to do this.

it's the golden answer to all the following twisters and more:

"You just want to have sex with me don't you?"
"I'm not that kind of girl . . ."
"You want me to come over YOUR house for dinner?"
"Look, I'm not into that sort of thing."
"What kind of girl do you think I am?" etc . . . .

Good stuff . . .

Oh boy...innuendo's come naturally to me and are my favorite way to flirt. This post is really encouraging...maybe I've got more natural in me than I ever realized. I've definitely been one of those guys who didn't escalate because he didn't want to harm the friendship.

Thanks for this awesome post!

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

So what do you think is the best way to reveal your intention/show interest?

I'm sure there's plenty that are totally workable...complements I'd think are a good one, sexual innuendo's that are funny are probably a really good one, etc.

I'm gonna say this again...I love this thread...my biggest shortcoming all these years has likely been not escalating properly because of fear of damaging the friendship. So, I'd love to hear more thoughts and techniques on how to escalate.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Sexual innuendos I think should be used lightly. Too much of it makes you seem like a joking flake. Secondly, compliments are cheap. Girls hear "Nice this, nice that" all the time . . . their entire lives.

However, how many times will they hear, "Ohh . . . look how sexy you look. I bet you kiss really well. I'd love to . . . uhmm! Man . . . You make me want to kiss you."

This kinda shit drives girls nuts. But often, they'll counter your advances with stuff like:
So this is when you continue to stand your ground with the "frame" that Solomon II suggested: Things like:

"Well, if I didn't want to make out with a sexy girl like you, I'd be a gay dude. Wouldn't I?" Then you just continue to another topic like wanting to make out with her is cool but you don't care either way and you just want to hang out with her. (Demonstration)

or to answer those questions more specifically, in order . .

"Of course I want to have sex with you. Are you nuts? You're totally hot! But come on, you're going too fast for me. I'd like to take you out on a few dates first . . ."

"What do you mean? I think you ARE a cool girl. Sure, I see you and you turn me on but hanging out with you is fun as hell. We should be friends." (Ever try this? The last girl I told, "Let's just be friends" sent me a drunk text at 10pm with, "Baby this baby that. I miss you so much. I'm coming over now . . .blah blah . . .")

"Yeah, I already bought some steaks. Look, you're beautiful and when I see you, I can't help but thinking about kissing you. But whatever . . . I also rented some action movies so we can do that after dinner."

"What sort of thing is that? Kissing? Well, you're so hot, when I see you, I can't help but thinking about kissing you but if you're not into it, we can just hang out. I'm down with that . . ."

Many, many more ways to keep this frame both verbally and through your actions . . .

Hmm...I think this post deserves some serious study!

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Fantastic contributions kasabi, that's what I like to see! I've been asked by a few people to explain SOI's as openers, so I'll go into them a little more. It's pretty simple, you don't need a bunch of examples to use. It's all about speaking your mind; just say what you see.

"Ooh, you're nice."

"Holy shit, you can't expect me to just walk on past without saying anything... look at you!"

"When was the last time I told you I loved you?"

"Good god you're beautiful."

Anything along those lines is fine. From here you just ask whats up and go into normal conversation, and every now and then you throw in mentions of how hot she is and how you can't keep your mind on the conversation. You can wait until she gives you IOIs first but it doesn't really matter, her standing there listening to this shit is a clear enough sign that she's at least a little intrigued. Use your loaf, keep speaking your mind and you can easily escalate to kissing her within a few minutes - in day game it's not really appropriate so of course you wanna get her to go out with you some time instead. You can instant date if she's out by herself, if not just set up an activity for you guys to do and get her number so you can call her. It's a good idea to get her to bring friends, and you do likewise. That way it's not sexual from the offset and you'll avoid many flakes this way. On your day 2 just relax, get to know her friends and stuff, play around with her and build sexual tension. You should know what to do from here.

This was well worth the read. Even though I have no natural game, it was a sweet post.