The most Ridic-you-fucking-lous Openers.



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Get Into The Game: New Forum Members Start Here » PUA Lounge




Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:23 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:28 pm
Posts: 776
Location: D.C., U.S.A.
I want the dirtiest, nastiest, most absurd and impractical openers from you guys/girls. I want to individually field test all of them for the sake of putting some joy back in my life.


Here are some examples of the quality I'm looking for.


Yell "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CAN I HAVE YOURE PHONE NUMBER?" in her ear.

Approach a random girl and call her a celebrities name "OMG, It's Britney Spears".

I want them all.

And if anyone says "Annihilation Opener" I'll personally pick on you for the rest of your life.


On we plow.

_________________
I'm addicted to facing my fears.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:29 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2008 10:25 pm
Posts: 12
I was with one of mah best buds. We're outside of his university. There's a couple cuties nearby..

He walks near them, 'slips' on some ice, and falls on his face right in front of them... They help him up.. and the ice has been broken ;);)

Rex Parliament, wingman of the gods


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:37 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:01 pm
Posts: 136
"You're hot, lets make out."


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:23 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Addict

Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2007 2:18 pm
Posts: 295
Location: Europe
I used few times only: "Let`s fuck" :D

It were situations when I felt like a superman, having ridicuosly great time, partying with buddies and behaving like a king of the world. And I never got slaped. Said it with a huge smile on my face and sounding half serious and half like I am just kidding. None said "yes" immediatelly :D and none said "go away creep" :D . They would smile and said "you are crazy". My answer would be "No, I`m just honest and don`t have patience to bullshit you all evening so I decided to tell you how I will about you right this moment. But, it is kinda to fast so how about that we get to know each other before doing anything like that. My name is Marco!" And after that, voila, we would fuck eventually :D


It`s almost no matter what you say, it`s all about how you say it, inner game and vibe you are spreading. Nonetheless, good looks don`t hurt so well built, trained body and nice clothes and smell is preferable!

_________________
Natural supreme


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:50 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:18 pm
Posts: 3
nice shoes, wanna fuck?


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:30 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Addict
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:01 pm
Posts: 230
Website: http://www.myspace.com/splifera
AOL: tephonis
Location: Los Angeles
"You remind me of my grandmother...except I haven't seen you naked yet"

"Just so you know, I'm gonna have sex with you tonight...so you might as well be there."

My personal favorite: In close proximity, stare at the girl until she says something then come back with, "Well, it's not gonna suck itself"

_________________
-That's my two cents...


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:31 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 4:41 pm
Posts: 22
Quote:
I was with one of mah best buds. We're outside of his university. There's a couple cuties nearby..

He walks near them, 'slips' on some ice, and falls on his face right in front of them... They help him up.. and the ice has been broken ;);)

Rex Parliament, wingman of the gods
haha I dig it


"OH SHIT YOU HAVE KNUCKLES TOO?" grab her hand

"MY FAVORITE IS THE MIDDLE ONE IT'S A WARRIOR COMPARED TO THE OTHERS" and flip her off


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:45 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:14 am
Posts: 477
You start talking on your cell phone

"Yeah wait a sec I'm gonna give her the phone"

You give her the phone

"Its for you"

She grabs the phone, and obviously there's no one calling

"Ohh! they hung up? dont worry, give me your number just in case they call again"

_________________
"[Cool is] a heavily manipulative corporate ethos. ”
Kalle Lasn

"Motherfuckers best belive in....That you are fucking with the best" - 3oh!3

Teasing is a battle plan for what Shakespeare called “the merry war.”


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:45 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 12:34 am
Posts: 738
I went through a phase about a year back where I was obsessed with doing as much _wrong_ as I could, just to see how many established parts of pick-up theory could be ignored and still have success. After all, AFCs get laid. Some worked. Others did not. Feel free to test whichever you find the most amusing.

"Hi. I'm a pick-up artist."

"Why aren't you talking to that cute boy over there? He's been staring at you for like, five minutes."

"My friends and I are looking to rob this place. You in?" (Straight Jacked from

"So. Syphilis."

"I'm not actually a cute boy. I'm a twelfth-level paladin."

"You may bask in my presence if you like, but only for a little while." *strike heroic pose*

"You seem like you might be a geek. I'm down with that."

"Which one was your favorite Pokemon?"

*walk up with two Magic: The Gathering decks in hand* "Let's play."


I'm sure there are others, but those are the ones I remember.

_________________
Repent now and save 50% on your next divine judgment.
-Monkey's Little Brother, Spud


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:26 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:23 am
Posts: 25
It was one of those spur of the moment things... me and my mates were in the park and it started raining so took off our tops and started running around... then we saw two girls sitting on a bench and my friend ran up and shouted:

'Names and numbers, NOW!!!'

lol the answer was 'we have big scary boyfriends!'

hehe :)


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:35 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 625
Location: Vancouver
The funniest one I've ever heard, which was used successfully by a mPUA (forgot who), is this:

Walk up to a group, let out a deep sigh while putting forehead into your palm while shaking head. Then "I need to take a shit so badly right now."

It goes to show you, it doesn't matter what you use for an opener as long as you are congruent.

_________________
There are no failures, only feedback.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:03 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:16 pm
Posts: 98
actually used for a bet: "so...do you like shit?"


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:07 pm 
Offline
Moderator Emeritus

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:13 pm
Posts: 2151
"Dont be sad when we dont work out, it really will be me and not you"


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:41 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:58 pm
Posts: 113
MIND IF I FART?


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:35 pm 
Offline
Master PUA
User avatar

Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:49 am
Posts: 329
Website: http://LVo3.com
that's easy.

Jealous Girlfriend. I still have NO IDEA what the fuck that story is about. So, who's in the photo? Is it your girlfriend? What does she want?

WHY DO I CARE??!?!?

It's not even good girly drama stuff. It's this lame, confusing little mini-soap opera with no sex, no intrigue, and no laughs. Why people think any girl would listen because of this is beyond me... if anyone has ever gotten laid after saying this to a girl, that is fucking proof that you get laid IN SPITE of your words, not because of them.

_________________
===

Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 72 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link