I had a girl over last night. I kinoed and kissed her during the movie and then I just went caveman. I ripped her clothes off faster than she could blink and fingered her for a bit. Then I got a condom and tried putting it on but I went limp. She jerked me off for a bit and I tried again. Same thing. So I’m sitting there with a wrinkled condom clinging to my limp dick and I decide to just come clean. I told her I’d never done it before and she took a few minutes to process all that had happened because it happened so quickly. We ended up just cuddling in bed naked and talking most of the night and half of the next day but the entire time I could just not get it up. So I took the opportunity to build some good rapport. She said she was content just lying there with me but I think she was justbeing nice. I'd only hung out with her for 5 or 6 hours in totall since i met her. I’ve conquered a lot of aspects to my game but I just naturally figured it was game over if I can get them naked in my bed and willing to have sex. I guess I’m my own worst enemy. Anyways once we finally got out of bed she seemed to close up a bit. I’m not too sure what she’s thinking. I tried getting it up after she left and it took a scary long time probably because my nerves are still on edge. And I'm usually a pretty horny guy. It's like now that sex is an actual possiblity ive lost interest. I feel like half a man right now. Confidence is really shot. Has anyone experienced this? any advice?

Chill. not a huge deal. not half a man. viagra?

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V1V

viagra? shit man I'm only 19. this is the first time this problem has ever happened. usually im good to go

Dude im 20

This shit just happens to us sometimes mate
Most the time they gonna understand, Only the total bitches that arent worth your time don't

Don't stress it, and just get back out there buddy, we all have those moments, and anyone tells u diff, they are lying lol


MM.

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"Alrightey then chaps, time to get shot down in flames!"

First of all, relax. This has happened to pretty much every guy on the face of the planet at some point or another and it's really not that big of a deal. You're not going to suddenly develop ED out of nowhere and your body is not dooming you to eternal virginity.

Judging from the wording of your post, it was probably just performance anxiety, most likely stemming from a lack of comfort with the girl (yes, guys need comfort too). After all, you said you had only known her for 5 or 6 hours. I know there was a lot going through your head, especially since this was your first time, and all those thoughts can trigger adrenaline in your body. In ancient times, that trigger meant it was time to run from a saber-tooth tiger, so naturally your body isn't meant to facilitate sex with a woman while all those chemicals are rushing around.

So what do you do? Step one is to just calm down and enjoy taking your time with her. There's no law that says you have to rush from kiss to sex in 20 seconds, and chances are she will enjoy the extensive foreplay anyway.

If you find that you can't get out of your own head and let it happen naturally, try this before you invest a ton of money in Viagra: http://www.vitacost.com/Goliath-Labs-Stimuloid

A friend of mine gave me some of that to try last week and I can personally vouch for its effectiveness--you'll get hard whether you want to or not

It was either nerves or the condom was cutting off the blood flow. But I am leaning to nerves tho.

I bet a little more foreplay would help too. In addition to becoming more familiar and comfortable with her body and the idea of sex, the anticipation of the act should get your blood pumping as well as hers. If you can fill it, a Magnum would also help with circulation issues, and I would also avoid jacking off for a couple of days prior to the act.

she came over again last night and we tried for nearly 3 hours. she was definitely getting frustrated. im psyching myself out. weird thing is i've lost interest in sex it seems. im not getting turned on that much in my day to day. its almost like now that sex is an option ive lost interest. wtf is wrong with me.. this girl's probly not gonna stick around for that long but i would like to be able to actually fuck a woman before I die so I'd better figure my shit out.. thanx for all the advice tho guys. worst comes to worst ill start poppin viagra but I wish I was able to do what I want when I want and have my mind just shut up and let my body go with the flow..

I'll be realistically crude.
If your cock doesn't get hard, and you start losing confidence because of it; you're on a downward spiral, because the more you dwell on this sort of insignificant thing the more you put pressure on yourself.

But as you also has the other alternative; namely Not giving a fuck, realizing the incident for what it was, and leaving it behind. No point in driving yourself down the way you don't want to go.

Here's my way; I don't stop the sex.

If I don't get hard immediately (or gods forbid; not at all) I still continue with foreplay, and in worst case I tell the girl I want to try something new with her, and I give her orgasms from heaven and hell... hehe...
Because there's nothing more arousing than having a woman really enjoying you, even if it is "just" your fingers.

Look up David Shade's Manual, and read it..
then read it again...
and again...
and then tell the girl to come over...
Try out the welcome method or Deep spot stimulation..
Command her to completely relax herself so that she doesn't come...
and drive her beyond the point where she would normally come,
there's hundreds of ways of giving a woman orgasms,
and only about a third of them involve your cock.

And I'm guessing you've built this whole thing too much up now, so get your confidence back.. show her that you can perform even when the little man is sleeping... hehe...


And I can guarantee you that once you turn the focus away from your dick, and onto her;... well..



It's just a temporary performance-anxiety thingy.
no big deal, trust me...

my god that was a fantastic post man! great advice i'm going to work on just trying to get her to come for now

happens to all of us it seems my advice is to:

1)limit your masturbation to once a week. I blame this for most of these cases cause when i got my girl in bed i couldnt get hard to save my life but in the same day when i turned on the porn and got ready to fap it my shit pop up like a daisy. which leads me to assume that when you jerk it too much your body gets used to only that and not sex.

2)RELAX RELAX RELAX. the more stressed out you get the hard it will be.

3)Make sure you are warm. Nothing kills a good erection like a shot of cold air