| I don't think this is a new concept, but it is definitely not talked about enough. People are always saying stuff about "becoming the best you, that you can be" and "leaving her better than you found her", but in all honesty they generally don't follow those ideals and instead just end up seeing how many girls they can get into bed with. The concept is an old one, but easily falls by the wayside and needs to be constantly held in front of us in order to make sure we follow that belief.
As far as what ConvAZN says about us being like the parents that tell their kids not to go out and party, I think he's way off base. We're outright telling you to embrace your true desires and have fun, not just do what you think other people expect of you in order to fit in. If you HONESTLY want to go fuck 3000 girls, none of which you care about, but find physically attractive and that will make your day, then go nuts! Have a blast! But a LOT of guys I've worked with didn't really want that and I know that most of the instructors that I keep as friends have told me the same thing. So we're encouraging you to do what YOU want, not what you think is required of you to fit in to the "pickup community". In all honesty, I have a LOT more fun when I'm doing things the way I want, rather than what guys expect a guy like me to be all about and you'll find the same; we're encouraging you to have that fun and go see the world, rather that just settle for the 9-5 because that's what the majority of people coming into the community expect it to be all about.
What J says is totally true. Typically every guy I know that is, or has been involved in the community and ends up with a girl that they really like, tells me that they didn't use any "game" to get her. Invariably people ask me why I still bother to coach guys, or spend so much time on here, or even continue to work on these sorts of things for myself. The truth of the matter is, even though getting the girl for that real relationship typically doesn't employ any of the tactics people learn from the community, the sense of confidence, the improved communication skills and body language, understanding of what women truly desire from a man and everything else that you learn while being in the community is what allows you to get that girl without any games.
I remember my last girlfriend and I didn't consciously use any tactics I'd learned while studying this stuff. If I hadn't studied this stuff though, I definitely wouldn't have been able to get her though, cause I wouldn't have had the intelligence or courage to just walk away from her when she was playing games with me, which caused her to realise that I was the type of guy she was looking for. I wouldn't have had the sense of playfulness and openess that allowed me to tell her that if she wanted some of my smoke, she had to kiss me and breathe it straight from me. I wouldn't have been able to do most of the things that made her interested in me, because I would have been too afraid to just be myself.
So no, we aren't telling you to get out of the community and run away. We're not telling you that the stuff you learn here is useless. We aren't trying to say that you shouldn't enjoy going out and having fun, sexual encounters with random gorgeous women you meet at the bars and clubs, on the street, in the malls, or wherever you encounter them. We're merely trying to point out that there is MORE to it. That if that's ALL you are doing and you're not getting everything you truly desire, that you CAN. It's not simply ok to be looking for the girl of your dreams that you can have a meaningful relationship with, it's fantastic!
We want you to do whatever it takes to make you happy, not whatever you THINK it takes to fit in and become a "pickup artist", cause in reality, a lot of us never really wanted to be pickup artists. I know I never did, I just went along with it for a while, cause I figured that was what it was gonna take to become what women really want. I know more than 75% of the guys I've coached in person, or online, have told me that they didn't really want to be PUAs, they just wanted to be able to be able to get the girls that they were interested in, so that they could have meaningful relationships.
So "the lie" isn't that "the game" isn't real, or that it doesn't work. Sure it'll get chicks into bed with you, it works. The lie is that it isn't required to get girls to be with you and that most guys don't actually want to become PUAs, they merely do it because they think that's what they're supposed to do. Just like J's thread about all the stupid acronyms and terms that the community is rife with and that people coming into it think they have to use to fit in, when in reality most of us think that they're dehumanizing and moronic. If we're gonna call girls HBs, why not just push it a little further and call them cum extraction machines instead, cause that's about the level of respect and humanity that you've given them.
I remember the first time I read The Game and read all the concepts about not buying into society's beliefs and becoming a social robot. Well that's EXACTLY what most of the people in the community have done! The community is a society in itself and as such, most of the people in it have bought into the concepts and stereotypes that they decided they needed to take on in order to fit in and get by. Well that's not the case. We'll love and accept you no matter who you are and what your goals are, so STOP trying to "fit in" and just go after what you truly desire. That's what we're here for!
_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch
~ Rye
|
CHAT
