I was sitting in the metro today, and this HB 6.5 was checking me out

I had to change metros, I change and she followed me to my cart, when the person next to me left, she came and sat down beside me. She was giving me IOI's (I think they where IOI's at least) she was playing with her hair, kept looking at me, I turn to say something, But i just freeze, and then I knew it, I wouldent say anything for the entire trip because my brain kept giving me reasons not to talk to her. so I basically sat there like the AFC that I am for maybe 11 metro stops:(
what can i do to get rid of this? Im sick of not being able to talk to girls? any tips?
I dont think its a confidence problem, if im approached by a girl I can keep an interesting convo going, I can talk to guys no problem and I mean I walk with confidence but its just the approaching girls part that always gets me:(

i didnt even have to read the post to tell you what you have to do. Go out and open at least five seta a day, dont worry about the outcome just open and walk away like you really had only a quastion or comment this is the only cure believe me I did it

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"HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF GETS RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN"

Bro, BigRed is completely right. Opening 5 random sets a day asking for directions or a good place to eat has done wonders in overcoming my AA. Don't approach from the back but other than that, just open strangers. U'll be surprised how willing people are to help.

-Karma

Assuming it isn't a confidence problem, and you can open 5 sets a day and still have AA when talking to a cute girl, your problem may be that you are affraid of the concequinces of skrewing up. The 5 sets a day thing will do wonders for your confidence, and I reccomend you do that first, but if it doesnt work try something different.

My issue was that when I wanted to talk to a cute girl in a social situation I felt a lot of pressure to have everything come out perfect. I thought that if she rejected me then all the people around me would notice and would have no respect for me, or I would be kicked out of the group. The worst thing that came to my mind would be that I say something and get slapped or beat up by one of her friends. The reality is, none of those things happend to me once I started approaching women.

One trick I used that I found super usefull is going out and actively trying to get rejected. Not just normal rejected, but super bad rejected, like pour a drink down my shirt rejected. I actually had to insist a women slap me across the face in order to realize that most women cant hit that hard. None of my fears were manifested in reality when I started opening. In fact I made a new test for telling if the situation is bad or good. If no one is dying, and a meaningfull relationship isnt at stake, then its all good. I almost lost the tip of my finger recently, and I was in the ER bleeding everywhere and getting stitched up and the entire time I had a smile on my face and I was hitting on the doctor, and the nurse.

Hope that helps!

BigRed is 100% correct. Get up, go outside, go anywhere, IF you are SUPER shy, and can't talk worth of s***T to people,.. say "hey, how are you" to atleast 20 people. When the day is over, you will be the opposite of before.. Now if its with women, You MUST open sets. What i did was open 10 sets a day, 4 days a week. During your days, add a little something in, a neg, a tease, ex: "You seem like the nurse type". But after you open the sets, say ok bye. unless u wanna talk. I swear, this works. I've done it. Yea the first like 3 to 5 approaches will be awkward maby.(mine was) but its smooth sailin from there. This process also gives you conversational skills. THAT WAY, the next time a girl gives you IOI'S ..your already ready to give her a tease and initiate conversation with ease. Good luck

I was horrible at approaching until I met my friend Nick. This guy has balls of fucking steel, he approaches so many girls and makes the biggest ass out of himself 99% of the time. There was a moment when I lost my AA, and it was when a group of guys we were with all commended him for trying so hard, and they had sooo much respect for him for putting himself out there.

Whenever I approach, it helps me a lot to think about it not making me look bad- but it making me look like the MAN whether I fail or succeed.

5 GROUPS a day is perfect. Get your confidence up talking to strangers (guys and girls, young and old...) You need to talk to anyone and everyone.

To start you can just ask them for the time, or something insignificant. This is so you can walk away with that result. You know your talking to them for the time and they gave it to you.

Once you say one liners to strangers then you start working on conversations and talking to women you are interested in.

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Its not failure, its a learning challenge.

She approached you and you freaked out? lol

next time that happens and your not prepared here's two things you can try to relieve some of the anxiety:

1) Do this in front of her who cares your already nervous and uncomfortable get yourself out of that state or do it before you approach - stand up if your not already standing shake your body like your just getting over a chill to losen up your muscles so you aren't so tense.

2) Don't burden yourself with too much thinking on what your about to say or do you'll end up watching an imaginary movie in your head without have even doing the approach. If you see your target/group approach it quick just do it no thinking until you actually get to them. Use the basic "Hi, whats up?" and work your way from there if you remember any routines and what not then put them into play other wise keep it simple.

Honestly no matter how many approaches I've done I'll always get AA and you can always tell yourself its better to have went and done it then not have done it at all.

The biggest contradiction was as jonnyv said: she approached you, you're already in the game, and by your own definition she was only a 6.5, blow that anxiety away.

Remember, you're the prize, deep breath and just let your mouth spill words out, if she's attracted, she probably won't even care if the conversation is shitty.

Out of curiosity, what were the reasons your brain was giving you not to talk to her?

Hi

I work with a lot of guys helping them with AA and dealing with people in social interctions.

The things you have to ask yourself are;

Why you reacted when the girl looked at you?
What sort of person would react in that way?
What do you have to believe aout yourself to allow yourself to react in this way?
What would you think of someone if you saw them react in this way in this situation?

Not until you address your internal issue can you feel relaxed and confident in situations with people.

Matt

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London based hypnotherapist. I can help you with gaining confidence with women and social situations. Get in contact for more information.

For an interview chat with one of my clients click www.realworldhypnotherapy.com

approach girls who do not intimidate u for whatever reason. time and practice

and approach HBs for reasons otherthan sexual so u get used to an HB giving you their undivided attention and speaking to them without drooling (i still drool sometimes, mentlly slow down like im in luigi zone on super smash brothers)

i know exactly what you are talking about!i've found that the best ways to cope with this are:

1: obay the 3 second rule. aproch or open a girl within 3 seconds, otherwise you WILL mentaly talk yourself out of it by worrying about the outcome.

2: in The Game (styles book i think everyone in the comunity has read it) he says that when he first saw Mystery and Sinn in action, they were treating it all as a game. that is the way to do it.treat PU as a computer game, as if it wont affect you, or your real life. i do this by making the dress sense and personality of my PUA self completly different from my old AFC self. therefore they are two seperte people, so what happens to PUA me won't affect me, 'cos he's not me! do you get what i mean, or am i comming across as a bit mad?

hope this helps and best of luck to you!

Open the conversation talking about something that you're genuinely interested in and just be in the moment.

Be in the MOMENT.

I repeat it because, sometimes we play out the failure before it happens or deosn't happen.

Simply understand that this girl next to you is only a human looking for love just like you are. Go in with good intentions and enjoy yourself. Enjoy the contact and the interaction.

After you are comfortable enjoying conversations, then calibrate where you can improve your skills.

Peace.

in my other thread i said basically:

i found out its not my responsibility to keep the girl entertained (it helps in PUA) but ultimately.. she is not ABOVE u. you dont HAVE to entertain her

its just not ur job

u kno? like the other guy, talk about something genuin. hot girls get cheesy pickup lines, smooth talked by naturals, hit on by cocky or alpha guys, puas, and the nice guys

basically they see and hear it all every day

its nothing new...

so if u have something fun and meaningful to say thats good

but i have to admit that hot girls have plenty of guys trying to keepthem entertained so if u DONT do that (even tho its not ur job) she might loose interest (like any other human but amplified)