So I met this girl at a bar, I rarely go to bars but it was a wednesday night, and I had the next day off from work. This girl and her sister come over and start talking to a friend and myself. Tons of kino, back rubbing, great body language, and tons of iois. Girl was 23, her sister 27. I'm 21, my friend who is 22 kept the 27 year old entertained.

So we walk and go get food down the street. We're holding hands, lots of touching, light kissing. We eat, the whole time a gay guy is hitting on me. We walk back, say that we have to go, and we'll call them later. We get their numbers, she kissed me seductively on the neck and they grab a cab, and we grab our other friends and went home.

I waited til friday to call her because i was busy running errands on my day off, and I called her after work. She sounded excited to hear from me, we talked for awhile, and I told her I had to go, but I'll call her later.

I called her last night, she didn't answer, I left a message "hi i'm meeting up with some friends for dinner at 630, but I'm thinking we should meet up after that"

She didn't call me back that night or text me or anything. So then this afternoon I sent her a text message "good job answering your phone punk, who do you think would win in a fight, a smurf or a cat?" (david d...)

And she hasn't called or texted me back, and I sent the message over 5 hours ago, and left the voicemail last night.

Now I realize this one is a lost cause, and to not put any more effort into it, but where did I go wrong?

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Honestly bro, it seems like you've been trying to call/text her entirely too much. You said you waited till' Friday to call which is good but that should be the case anyway, not because you were busy ( You should tell her this regardless). If she really was into you the first night, you don't wan't to make her seem like she's your only option and you're needy. I think you should be worrying more about trying to get out more and find new girls than wondering why she hasn't replied to your calls and messages.

Assuming that she isn't contacting you because of some personal issue in her life that is more important (like getting back together with a girlfriend), then this would be my guess:

You did not establish an emotional connection. Girls at bars are really high energy and consequently their buying temperature is quite high. It is easy to snag a make-out, and sometimes a ONS if you keep her energy high. However if you do not show genuine interest in her personality traits and if you do not prove to her that you truly like her as a human being (and want more than sex from her), then she won't always be keen on a day 2. If she was drunk then this just multiplies the problem many fold. Next time, elicit values from her and relate/reflect on them.

It sounds like you spent some good conversation time together, so she probably did have SOME personal issues or self esteem problems coupled with a lack of emotional connection.

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interesting...I didn't think I was calling her too much, twice, one text..

my friend text the 27 year old the next morning, and continued to text and call her. I was interested in this girl on a more emotional level than sex. I don't even have a place right now that we could shag given the opportunity, so that's not even on my mind.

And I went out friday night for halloween, out saturday night to a hookah bar, and out with my friends last night, and heading out to dinner tonight in about an hour, so I try to stay active, and go out with people from work and hang out with friends.

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wtf she just text me after 12 hours "sorry i suck..but didn't the smurfs hide from animals such as cats?"


Couple things I'm thinking of responding,

"Do you manipulate people by apoligizing?"
"smurfs are afraid of nothing"

Then do I wait 12 hours to text her back?

anything more clever

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I don't know if I'd go with the manipulating thing (line 1). I think it suggests that her flaking really affected you and you're reading more into it than there may have been - like the guy said above, she could have had something come up. Also remember, she never actually said she'd be able to make it out with you that night, and although the cool thing to do would have been to let you know she couldn't make it, she may have actually been busy. Personally, I'd be ready to give a pass on this one in terms of being harsh.

However, at the same time, you may want to just not reply. Depending on whether you think you've built enough attraction for her to pursue, a small freeze-out might not be a bad idea. Notice that she left that text pretty open-ended, which I would read as her basically inviting you to try and initiate again with her maintaining power. Not responding can make her realize she wasted your time and you've got other things to worry about right now, so she will have to be the one to make the next step. Of course, you've only been together the one time, so there's a chance she just says the hell with it, but you're ready to move on anyhow, so I think that's the best call.

And I also don't think you called too much - calling once to say hey, calling a second time to set up a date (as you said you'd do because of your time constraint), and then a text to bust her balls after the fact is fine within a 3-day span.

bahhh i knew i should have waited til morning to reply, or atleast check on here before I sent it..

Well I guess I learned.

I sent her a message 30 minutes later "do you manipulate people by apoligizing? and smurfs are afraid of nothing"

she didn't reply. Maybe I'll run into her again. I learned before I rush things, and to just take a deep breathe and just slow down is the most useful technique.

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Yikes, that was a bit harsh, and eager. Don't punish girls for bad behavior by telling them off. You should just ignore them and show disinterest. Yes, lesson learned indeed. Hence my signature.

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The manipulation line is uncalled for and makes you look like a jerk. Its not a neg.
When you called her the first time it should have been to set up a date, and not to tell her you were going out with friends. In fact a text instead of a call might have been better altogether.

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Ok first of all some attraction has been established. The only purpose of phone communication should be to set up a meeting in person and thats it. Girls will never be attracted to you if you chase them. She has your number let her chase you.

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i sent her a drunk text message the other night, it was bad something like "you were really interesting to me, and i would hope that we could atleast just be friends"

Palm face, but i didn't want to talk with her anymore, and usually being smitten with girls cause them to run run far away. she didn't write back, perfect, another day goes by, nothing.

Tonight she calls me and wants to go out for pizza and drinks. WTF i was tempted to not answer, but i did. I dont want to stand her up now, but im thinking we are meeting under her terms, she has the power.

Do I let her think she has the power, and then switch it and play uninterested?

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Just go out and be yourself dont bring anything about the phone convo's up. Run your game like normal, be happy youve still got a small chance after that horrific drunk text message.

MAN UP...Don't want to be harsh right now, but people who care about you normally will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

First off, MAN UP... what are you going to do when you go out with her, not respond to her until someone hear gives you an answer. The second you start learning how to make decisions for yourself all this will look stupid.

Second, this is one girl. There are like a million other girls out there, trust me if you screw up, 1000x times, there are still girls out there just as hot.

Third, your giving this girl way to much credit for nothing. Its obvious your thinking too much about all this, which is distracting you from being yourself, which is a MAN, and your not being it right now.

Fourth, MAN Up... i said this one already, but start walking around like you have a 12inch penis and a line up of girls that want to be with you.

Fifth, remember your the prize. You have to take time away from your schedule to see her, shes lucky, even PRIVELGED to get a chance to be with you. Your so exciting and cool that you normally are too busy, but you know what today is HER lucky day, so she better not screw it up.

Sixth, i love you man, i know the position your in, but honestly the less you think about this, the easier it is, just trust...

lol have to agree with sam. Man the fuck up dude. Seriously you don't have to come on here asking for every line to drop...it doesn't work like that.

Fair enough you might be new and you don't have enough game to feel comfortable with yourself but you have to learn at some point right?

Plus what's this waiting for 3 days to call a girl or whatever? The time you use to text her on the phone...just call her...a phonecall is like a million texts mate.

This is the way I'd go with it right now. The good thing is that she came to you and asked you out, so you've now got some control over this which you can use to turn it into a relationship or friendship (there's a chance she's already LJBFed you because of your text). The key is just like BamBam said though: be yourself, stay cool, and NO MORE TEXTS!