First of all I am an AFC.

I got the girl to go out with me, the first date went well, I had the IOIs but I didn't make a move. Second date went ok but I stupidly asked if she liked me and she said as a friend and I pushed her for more and she said she doesn't want a relationship, and that maybe its due to work.

I asked her out again and she wanted to go out again but she had to cancel because her friend was in town and she couldn't make it. But constantly what I am finding is that my conversations with her are going down hill. A lot of awkward pauses and it's usually small talk.

How do I improve my conversation skills? I feel like she is getting bored of me so I am thinking I leave her alone for now and not ask her out again until I improve.

If your conversations are going 'downhill' then it's probably a sign that you two haven't got much in common. But, if you're still determined to get inside her pants, why don't you try to make a list of some of the things she revealed about herself in those first two dates? You must have noticed that when talking about some topics she seemed to become more animated and passionate than others. Try to work out ways you can bring those up again and dig a little deeper this time, show empathy etc Do a little research if you can. For example, if she told you about a skiing vacation she really enjoyed, think about why people love to ski, even if you've never skiied yourself.
I suffer from awkard silences myself, there is no magic wand to prevent them but having a back up stock of topics and questions is always handy. One thing I try to do now when such a silence appears is to think about my (our) environment and try to make a comment related to it. A good way to open as well.

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http://www.pua2xs.com

Dude, you got it all wrong from the first sentece, but you have it right too.

You are not an AFC, you cant be such a thing. That concept of being AFC is one of the more harmful things in the community. Because you are justifying your behavior.

But even if you are going to excuse yourself for your behavior, in order to improve you gotta realize that there's nothing wrong with your behavior, it makes you fail, but you have to feel totally ok about it. Cause if you are going to walk around saying "I'm an AFC and I feel like shit" you won't make any significant progress. Don't make torture out of game.
Newbie mistake. Dont get on that kind of conversations, won't take you where you want to get.
First, get used to awkward pauses, lean back and smile: all the time. And talk a lot with everybody. You will learn, enjoy conversations and have fun.

Seriously...have some fucking fun:

the-most-important-thing-about-pick-up- ... highlight=

Edit: Click on the link!!!

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"[Cool is] a heavily manipulative corporate ethos. ”
Kalle Lasn

"Motherfuckers best belive in....That you are fucking with the best" - 3oh!3

Teasing is a battle plan for what Shakespeare called “the merry war.”

Actually asking her if she liked you wasn't a stupid thing all, she gave you an honest answer too, she only likes you as a friend...It just took you too long to find out she was only interested in just hanging out and having friendly converstation.
Good job there

My problem is You should have found out this info from her within 10 mins of meeting her not 1 or 2 weeks later and saved yourself the trouble.
Recognize this girl is a player whether it was for free dinner, fun conversation, or just a new guy friend.

she never intended to give you any ass the first place she just didnt want to be mean about it plus she can have a new guy friend to do her bidding.
Since you never made it clear thats what you wanted from her
She was able to use you in that sense

You didnt even get to make out with her
Save the entertaining stories for later once you've gotten what you want out the interaction.

But again she made it clear friends only now you can move on stop wasting time with her

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

The main thing is to listen. Listen to what she has to say, b/c she will drop hints about things to talk about. for example, you ask her how was her weekend and she answeres "good, i went to the beach with some friends"
Use that and talk abou the beach with her. Use this to continue the convo. Also, always lead the convo, and always end it. And when you end the convo, end it on a good note that will lead her to want more.

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The New Breed
Evolve

If your having problems holding a conversation look into some juggler method it'll really help your game

Thanks for the replies, guys.
It was not meant to justify my behavior but rather recognize my flaw. It also reveals my personality; I am introvert person, which is one of the reasons why I have so much trouble in social situations. I live more in my head than opening up.
I don't think she saw it as free dinner/fun...etc during the first date she offered to pay during dinner but I insisted I pay and like I said I had several invitations to kiss her, I just choked.

Second date came weeks after, I work with the girl. She knew why I took so long to ask her out but I think during that time and the course of the second date, during dinner, I DLV because I had nothing to say and asked generic questions. Hell, at one point after a silence I was stupid enough to ask "What is the wildest thing you've done?" She is not that wild and had nothing to say. I, obviously, am not wild either and had nothing to say.

It was my weak game that screwed it up

She said the friend thing 2 weeks ago and I sort of avoided her (I did smile and say hi but did not initiate conversations) so that has made things a little awkward; but, I still asked her out for a third date. She said she loved cooking but sucks at it. I told her I always wanted to try but was always too embarrassed to try it. So for the third date, I was going to take her to a cook-it-yourself place, where you cook with the chef and then you eat it.

By the way, does using the words "wanna go out" + couple/intimate setting place show intent that it is a date or should I be more specific?

But, mainly this is not about her; I do like her and would like to get together with her. But the main problem is my lack of skills. I am using her to analyze what I have been doing wrong and improve. Possibly use her as practice until I get a rejection (her exact words were "I am feeling asexual", which I am not taking as a rejection; I felt I should've reached in and kissed her at that moment and asked if she was feeling hetro-sexual now).

RedMole88:
You are absolutely right; I keep telling myself to just have fun and be genuinely interested but when push comes to shove, I always get wrapped up with a goal (getting from point A to point B).

baller21, pua2xs: you guys are absolutely right; unfortunately, I am crippled during the conversation and never ask follow up questions. Afterwords, I kick myself.

I found some things about her but I always feel if I ask too many questions, I will turn it into an interrogation. That's why the silence bothers me so much. I want to use those moments to find out more about her but I just don't know any appropriate ways of doing it.

Next steps to improve I am thinking are:

Go to social events and just make conversations with random people and ask follow up questions. Just to get the practice.

I tried reading "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I didn't find it all that helpful; but I will buy Juggler's book.

Once again, thanks.

Reo,

I can't think of one thing that you wrote that is correct.

First off, you NEVER ask "You want to be my girlfriend" or "Do you like me?" Instead, you work it so that THEY ask you these questions.

Why do you need her assurance for anything? This isn't some business deal where you want a verbal confirmation prior to signing a MOU or whatever. Grab some balls. She's out here on a date with you BECAUSE she's into you. PERIOD. Ah . . . actually, you never ask anything like this during a business meeting either but that's a different topic.

And you want to "ask" this question within 10 minutes of knowing her? Go ahead and ask 100 girls this question. 99 . . . probably all 100 will give you the "Let's just be friends" line. Are you satisfied with numbers like this?

Sanctioned . . . The real problem is you actually FORCED "I like you as a friend" statement out of her. You left her no choice. And the bigger problem is that now, she has to "act" what she "said". To do otherwise would in effect be like taking a post it with "slut" written on it, and sticking it to her forehead. Damage control is 100% possible.

Hands up people . . . how many girls have you tagged who've started off with, "Let's just be friends?" . . . "I like you as a friend." Guys, this is the "go to" hb code for, "I'm a nice girl." (Oh yes you are you horny little whore . . ha ha ha)

Even if she involuntarily offers this statement, you know the game is on. This means she's thought about the possibilities. It means it's in her head. Boyfriend or just friends? . . . You guys have to stop thinking of women as ppl who have CHOICE. There is no choice. They buy LV bags because they're told to buy expensive bags. They wear make up because a certain look is rewarding to them. They've framed their personalities to fit into their Worlds. Why do they use a certain pitch for their speaking voice? I mean . . . why do they speak on a certain octave on a certain key? They are fully capable of going with c sharp instead of e flat. You think this is a choice? They squeal certain ways and certain guys go on them. They go deep and certain guys are turned off. Guys . . . there is no CHOICE. They do not choose to give ass or choose to "befriend". This is the very foundation of our game. The idea is we can create SEXUAL attraction. If you're on this forum and you're trying to figure this game out, at the very least, you've got to know this truth.

Of course you can't kasabi, because the great gospel of mystery method didn't tell you that right

In Sanctioned's case him saying that after going on multiple dates wasn't bad he put and end to her manipulation of him.

I never said I'm going to tell a girl i just met what you're claiming i said, "Do you like me" No, I never said that, however I will express to her I'm interested in her sexually so she'll know whats going down when next we meet and she's going to answer either yes or no. If it's "no" I unlike Sanctioned didn't waste 2 weeks of my life on uninterested girl. He invested time and money now he's all sad and angry.

Kasabi if you ever question me you be better prepared to defend you're arguement

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Reo,

My bad . . . words came out kinda harsh.

That being said, if I moved on every time a girl said something that began with no, I'd have had a very lonely life. Come to think of it, "no" is so habitually implanted in some girls that I've had girls scream "no" during sex. I'd slow down . . . then they go, "no, no, no . . ."

This seems to shift a bit somewhere between 28 and 32 in most girls.
I agree with this . . . but going out 1 on 1 is always a "demonstration" of a yes. If it's a "no" to begin with . . . the older girls don't waste time and the younger girls tend to insist on going out with a group. (Regardless of what they "say")