Not sure if this one has been posted but a HB7 sent it to me and I thought it was well suited to post....ENJOY!

In 2009 [subsequent year to the current] the U.S. Gov will start shipping retards away. I started crying when I thought of you. Be strong, wear your helmet, and run.

I sent this one to a girl I hadn't seen in a while:

Me: Oh my God! Help!

Her: What's the matter??!

Me: Im laying around naked and I'm totally drunk from last night still and I can't get my clothes on. Come over and help me get dressed! (it was like already 1pm or so)

Her: Hahaha! Yeah, right...

From here it led into a conversation where she mentioned that she was looking for something more serious that she knew she couldn't get from me as I was too wild and all I wanted was to have fun, and that I shouldn't call her anymore cuz she didnt want to get hurt.

I answered by agreeing with her that I was wild, but mentioned that I took my fun very seriously and sincerely hoped that she would be able to have fun in her life again in the near future, as it was important to having a happy and fulfilling life. I closed by stating that I would never intentionally hurt her.

She responded about 6 hours later that night, asking if she couldn't come over for a little fun after all, which we had!

Hey these are great lol. I have tried to use some of these with numbers that I just got( aliens zoo), and the replies are not always great. Do you guys usually use these after you have known the girl for a while or right away?

What I usually use is:

Me: knock knock
She: who's there?
Me: It's me, (name), I thought you had my number

Always gets a good laugh.

This thread is pure GOLD! I have used most of the posted text messages and got great responses.
Favorites are the Zoo, Alien, You popped into my head so hi..., and so many others! wowowo this has doubled my text game by far

LOVING the zoo one and then last one lmao
V1V

"I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&M's?"

Field tested and approved, she replied "Smarties!x" lol

Well played

i ve got a simple one that works well (in fact i may have even read it here)

i text a french girl, asking how she was (n'importe quoi!) but i asked how my 2nd favorit french girl was doing, she won t stop bugging me asking who the first is, there is no first by the way.

this might not work as well if ur engglish and u say my 2nd favorit english girl cus they might just assume ur favorite is ur mum.

i never tell who the first is and ive started calling her no2 it reallyu bugs her lol, try it!

i did one time tell her it was her best friend just for shts and giggles, she pretended she didnt care but told me not to speak to her any more, ha ha dont try that!

THIS THREAD RULES! Thanks so much to all who posted.

_________________
"You can only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent" - Jake Green

field tested this.didn't work.

*cries* you must have zero sense of humor not to be amused by that, fkn sex.

A couple others (most of these are quotes given above with my personal touch):

OPENER:

You: Your [something] is the 2nd most attractive thing you have
Her: What’s the 1st most attractive thing?
You: Can’t tell you unless you come out for a coffee w/ me right now
Her: OK, I’ll come, what is it?
You: Me
*also applicable in a face to face situation*

BANTER:

You: OMG, Stop talking to me!
Her: What? I never sent you anything?! / What? Wrong person?
You: Yeah, sorry, I was txtin' the voice inside my head

Listen, I’m tired of you treating me like a sausage w/ feet ok? I’M A HUMAN BEING TOO!

I can’t think straight anymore… all I can think about is “text” w/ you!

I was thinking of you… but then Animal Kingdom ended

Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? Talk about “heavy pashing”.

SAME NIGHT:

Hey don’t drink & drive. I don’t like competition on the road [name]

Hey hey, that’s enough torturing/comedy/awkwardness for 1 night, you can stop dancing now [name]

The bouncers were begging me to take you with when I left but I told them you don’t look nearly as threatening up close [name]

Here's my number, but don’t call before 9am, ok? I need my beauty sleep. [name]

Great post iStyle!

Here is one i got today.

CK

_________________
success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Personally, I think the other version of it which was mentioned somewhere up there would work much better as it's more cheeky and guarantee a positive response if she's attracted to you in the slightest bit:

You: Stop
Her: Stop what?
You: Thinking about me & smiling so much. See, I bet you're doing it right now. Stop it.

THIS ONE ALWAYS GETS GOOD RESPONSES!!

TODAY IS NATIONAL GOODLOOKING DAY! SEND THIS TO SOMEONE GORGEOUS- BUT NOT ME, I'VE BEEN GETTING THIS TEXT ALL FUCKING DAY! : )