Alright so you know the end of this story...let me fill you in on some details....

Met this guy and we went out on a casual date last night. By that I mean we didn't pressure it to be a date but it still kinda was. Anyway, I had lost my phone a bit ago and he had an extra one so he gave it to me to borrow. Today, I went to change the background picture so I was looking through the album of pics and noticed he had a lot and and then I came across naked pictures that he took of what I presume is his ex-gf!! I was in shock...I mean, you'd think that you take that kind of stuff off before you give your phone to someone but he must have forgotten.

My question is how should I approach this? I am thinking that I should just pretend like I have never seen the pics. But yeahhhhh def wasn't expecting that!

Lets be honest here.

Most men, have pictures of tits on there phone. I have a few girls sending them to me.. once in a while. It's really not that big of a deal.

If your not seeing each other exclusively, then he's free to do what he wants. I would let it go.. you could tease him about it if you wish.

Me, if I got caught.. I'd prob. laugh about it. Besides.. what where you doing snoopin around?

I've got tons of pics that I've forgotten about on my comp and camera and if I took them with my phone I'd have a lot on there too. I've heard of this thing happening before, it's pretty common.

Honestly, it's not really a big deal is it? Were you highly offended? Have you never seen a naked girl before? Does sex scare you? Nah, didn't think so. I just wouldn't say anything, unless you thought she was hot, or liked the idea of having naked pics taken of you at some point (obviously not saying tell him to do it right now). In which case, make a pleasant comment about how attractive she was, or how you think the idea of having naked pics of yourself taken is very erotic and turns you on. Scandalous I know! We're supposed to be adults though and if everyone would stop being such prudes about sex, the world would be a much happier place.

For instance, this weekend at the Powerful Sexual Presence/Tantra workshop I attended, I stood there with a very visible erection in a circle of guys who probably also had them, while a bunch of sexy ladies danced around us. Shocking! Guess what, they were turned on by the fact that they turned us on. Sex isn't as taboo as our culture has made it! Enjoy it!

BTW, here's so videos from the workshop and reviews. I think everyone on the fucking planet should take this class, so check it out and pass it along to anyone you know who might be interested!

sexual-presence-tantra-workshop-videos-vt30688.html

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

fwd it to my phone please . well i wouldnt make a big deal about it. unless it bugs you that much. you could bring it up. he'll probably be like "oh man i forgot those where on there" or you could of say "you know those naked pics of the girls on your phone i deleted them" just to see his reaction.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

It actually wasn't a picture of her breasts. It isnt like I am scared or offended by the pictures, but rather shocked that he didn't delete them when he gave the phone to me in the first place. I have to decide whether I should ignore it or bring it up as a joke....and no rye....the pics don't turn me on.

Personally Bonita. I forget, that stuff that I have on my own phone. He probably doesn't view it as a big deal. No one does. If I let someone borrow my phone.. it's not like I have a check list I go through to let them use it. It's more of like hey, I trust you with some of my belongings. Here you can borrow my phone. He probably forgot he had it on his phone to begin with.

Personally, I would be annoyed.. if someone went through my phone. I wouldn't say anything unless it is really bothering you.

Best of Luck

~Matt

Yeah, if you weren't keen on it, then just don't mention it. In all honesty, it wasn't your right to go through his phone in the first place, even though you meant no harm by it. By bringing it up you might make him feel like his privacy was invaded, so just forget about it. Obviously he's comfortable with his sexuality though, so that's a good thing.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I find it hard to believe you guys think that is an invasion of privacy....he gave me this phone to use since I am waiting for mine to be mailed...so it isn't like it is his phone that he uses now. And I was just trying to change the wallpaper to a picture that I like better bc all phones come with wallpaper choices....I hardly consider that snooping or an invasion of privacy!

Ok, I see where you're coming from B, but stop for a moment and look at it from a different perspective. I have phones that I don't use anymore, yet they still have all my contacts and stuff on there from back then. I don't erase that stuff just in case I need it, so if I lent a phone to someone else, they COULD go through all that stuff.

Now regardless of whether YOU feel that it is an invasion of privacy doesn't matter. Seriously, it doesn't matter how you explain it, or your feelings about it, because what's gonna matter is his feelings. This is correlates to a very powerful NLP concept, "Meaning isn't what you intend, it's what the other person interprets." Now that goes for everything from a smile, a wink, a comment, a touch, all the way up to the perception of an action like accidentally stumbling upon something you weren't supposed to see. If you were cleaning out the closet and found sex pics of his ex-gf, even if he had asked you to help clean out the closet, he might just feel like his privacy was invaded. Sure you didn't mean to, but that's why you have the choice of just playing ignorant and not making anything of it. Think about him, not yourself.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I would personally ignore it if you arnt bothered by it and you arent in an exclusive relationship.

As for invasion of privicy, its sort of like the classic argument of
Girl : who is X?
Guy: A friend, why?
Girl: I opened a letter to you and it was frmo her with a naked picture in it. What do you have to say for yourself?
Guy: Why were you opening my letters?

Who is in the wrong here? Guy for being involved in it, or girl for reading his stuff.... neither and both.
Personally, I have lots of pictures of either girls or me with girls on my phone (not naked admittedly... for this exact reason). If a had a girl find them and flip out at me for it (especially if we wernt exculisivly dating) i would be cross about it. I would be thinking why is she having a go about stuff she had no right looking at and jumping to conculsions about it!

Your situation is slightly different, since he let you borrow the phone rather than you just looking through it. Either way, he trusted you with his stuff. Do you really think breaking that trust by having a go at him about it is a good idea?

Madals

In that example the girl definitely should be blamed some for that is a blatant invasion of privacy. And you did say my situation is different, which it is....but does that mean I still can't bring it up jokingly? We are no where near an exclusive relationship...im not even sure if it is heading that way anyway...but he isnt the type to get embarrassed easily and i just thought it would be funny to bring it up in a joking (by no way serious) manner

In a joking way ofc we dont know him but if you think he is the type of guy to take it then sure.
Madals

Imagine if it were part of his game lol

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Funny you say that because I thought about that too....but it is a really old phone from about 6 months ago...it is beaten up and cracked etc... so i really think he just forgot about them

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that!!! It is straight up part of his game!!! Hahahahahaha!!! He has you thinking about him. Even though you are not really offended you have grown a bit more curious about him. Curious enough to wirte a post on it. You havent said it has turned you off or that you are not gonna see him again.

A picture says a thousand words. So what do those pics say to you?

I know where all the nekkid pics of ex's are. He doesnt give a fuck. Its obviously NOT an invasion of his privacy. He gave you the phone to use. Its not like he wouldnt expect you to go through it. If I let a girl use one of my old phones she has every right to go through it.

If you took his current phone and went through it, that is an invasion of privacy.

CK's post FTW!!!!!!!

CK

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.