Last night while out with a female friend I was getting some serious IOI's from a girl on the dancefloor. She was getting attention from a lot of guys, and when I finally opened her later on, I completely failed. I won't bore you with the details but it was bad.

So, I wanna see what you guys think are some good openers when you know the girl has been checking you out and you're pretty sure there's an attraction there.

Regards

Ingredients you ask a good question. There are a few factors that we need to discuss besides the opener that will make things work. First of all, when you are getting IOIs from a girl across the room or wherever in relation to you, you need to go in right then. Waiting can lead to her thinking your not confident to approach, or don't understand social dynamics type of thing.

You of course want to approach with confidence and run your opener. The truth of the matter is it really doesn't matter what you open with, so long as it's not creepy or anything like that, which I'm sure you don't do. You can go over and be direct or indirect. The point is you need to open when you see these things as quickly as possible.

I'm not saying that the delay in this case caused you to fail. It could have been a variety of other factors, however, it couldn't have helped.

Hope this post helps bro! Keep it up, you'll get it there.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for the reply!

I understand what you mean, appreciate the advice. But at the same time, isn't it good to tease her a bit, pretend you're not too bothered or amazed by her attention? If she makes eye contact with you, and you give across a vibe that it's nothing special, is this using the cat string theory?

Or are you more of the opinion that since I have the IOI, there's no point in hanging around any longer?

You do ask some good questions and I'm glad you asked this. When Mystery talks about proximity. You may already know this but proximity is when you all of a sudden notice a group of girls or a girl standing near you for no real reason for them to be there. When you notice this you need to open right away. It's kind of the same way with noticing IOIs from a potential target.

Cat String Theory States...I'm quoting Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women in Bed; St. Martin Press. "As the Venusian artist proceeds with a pickup, he keeps validation and attention just slightly out of the target's reach. If he is too easily acquired, men a woman will quickly grow bored and lose interest." Obviously, the idea of enticing her in small increments to make her chase and when she gets close to "getting" you, then you push her away a bit. I can understand how this is a bit confusing but the theory assumes you've already opened and are working a girl.

When you are actually in a set talking to the girl and she starts giving statements of interest or indicators of interest you do things to push her away just a bit. Like the cat with a laser pointer. You move the pointer just slightly away from the cat it pounces. Too far away and it doesn't bother. Leave it still and it gets bored, right?

An example of this might be...

HB: "You're cute..."
US: "(Smile) Pause for effect & "I'm so not boyfriend material..."

At the moment you smile and pause she thinks she has you, then you lay out the False Disqualifier to push her away a bit.

Long and short of all this is just when you see some IOIs from a girl before you open, these are invitations to come talk to her, RSVP her invitation man!!!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks again. It makes more sense now. I guess what I lacked last night was a prepared approach, I just stumbled in and I was putting way too much importance on it which choked me. Practice practice practice ay?

So, if circumstances don't allow for an absolutely immediate approach (like if she was walking towards the toilet for example, lol)...then the approach should be done as soon as possible, even if in doing so I may initially look unnatural?

Just, I think that if I was to approach immediately in a lot of scenarios, it could appear quite intrusive. Like, if I'm getting eye contact from a girl across the room at a table...approaching immediately would mean getting up from my table and walking all the way over there right?

Or if the girl is walking past me, checks me out as she's passing, I'd have to stop her in her tracks somehow in order to open?

I do like the sound of this though, because it's showing a lot of balls compared to the wimped out AFC approach (which I confess to being guilty of!).

Regards

Could you at least post the opener you used and what she said?

I'm in college and I know I'm going to come across this situation.

It'd help

Exactly, you are taking the balls and the intiative to get up and go over there. An old saying, "He who hesitates...masturbates..." LOL

Sometimes, if she is walking past you can just stop her by talking to her. Don't follow or anything just stay where you are and start running your opener.

Even if the situation isn't ideal go over and talk to her, the worst that can happen is you end up alone at the end of the night. Wait weren't we already doing that before we joined the community?!?

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

So, you think a 'regular' kind of opener is ok (like, 'hey what's up?', 'what's your name?')? Or can you recommend something that would be a bit more edgy and suited to this situation?

STOP THINKING TOO MUCH! Less thinking and more making moves. It's tough to become more reactive but overthinking is what kept you from opening her up immediately the last time. If you walk over there and open you're ahead of 90% of the guys who don't get it, and don't open. Sometimes "Hey, what's up?" is the best opener. Just as long as you open. AGAIN, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE WORDS YOU USE, IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU SAY THEM, AND YOUR CONFIDENCE!!!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

anyone see that clip on natural game?? can't remember who posted it but the dude was forced to open with "hey, how about we stop flirting from across the room and start flirting here"... very direct but could be appropriate if u r getting iois. u could play it down a bit too like "hey, i know its fun looking but i can talk aswell" - pretty much saying the same thing but not lathered in sexual directness.

CF - i've field tested these but not extensively so feedback would be good
- "finished undressing me with your eyes yet?" worked only after hardcore IOIs
- "just letting you know... looking ain't free, u owe me a drink" - then when the protest comes u can jump straight into styles 5 question game for the drink.

or something like "hey, ur kinda cute so i had to come over here to see if ur worth talking to or just like everyone else in the club/place/party/whateva"

There are a million ways to open. as J said, just don't hesitate and make sure u open

i got almost same situation in high school, im grade 11, hb is grade 12. i have been getting eye contact with her n got IOI from her for 1 month, tat has happened 5-6 times bt we are nt still introduced with each other.2 weeks ago i got awesome enerjy n confidence bt i didnt feel myself well tiz week i dont know why.Any suggest tat makes me pull around?

ING. i was once in the same situation with you at a club. 2HB 8 and 9 on the dance floor surrounded by guys and the girls rejecting left and right to every guy coming up to them. I was off to the side not to far from them with my wingman. i made eye contact a few times and just pretended to smile and talk to my wing. while they still are rejecting every guy in the club . My wing decideds to go for it and approch them and he got right about next to them when she turned around and said "no thanks" not one word out of my wingman. He crashed and burned. As he was coming back to me. i was just egging him about it. This is when HB9 makes eye contact with me and gives me the finger to come over. Now... knowing she has already rejected all the guys i decided "no YOU come over to me" so i use my fingers to call her over here and point on the ground next to me. she shakes her head and motions for me to come over agian. i make a motion that "nope not going there you come to me" well she finally comes over and now i'm dacing with HB9 and my wing is dancing with HB8. So i decided to make small talk. "so you decided to come over to the best guy here" and her reply was "i guess i just notice you wasnt the only guy trying " i replied " i wasnt trying i'm just having a good time with my friend" I kinda felt the vibe that she was only there to raise her self esteem by rejecting everyone and that was including me. so before she could. i said " hey look sweetie. i gotta run and get back with my friends so you have fun rejecting all those other guys gawking over here" and i up and left. I didnt close b ut my wing got HB8 # so it was some what a suscess. JSmooth has the way to go but sometimes it can be a situation like this where its just nasty rejection left and right.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

Reaper that was an amazing post. I go to a lot of dance parties and some times you will get girls like that. I'm ahead most guys when it comes to gaming females at a dance thing, but I have had a couple rejections like the one you mentioned. That's definitely something to try.