hi all

disclaimer: this may turn into a bit of a stream of consciousness, but now i've opened up this pandora's box i feel like i need to express myself and get some advice and reassurance. i would REALLY appreciate any feedback.

so... i've very, very recently discovered this PUA business in the same way i imagine lots of you have- through "the game"- and it's really turned my brain upside down ever since. just to give you a bit of background about me...

i'm 25 years old and in many ways i'm the archetypal AFC. i'm often socially awkward around even moderately attractive women, and completely intimidated by those i'm really attracted to. i have little to no bar game, and i usually get too drunk to put it into practice even if i did. looks-wise i'd say i'm well above average, and i go to the gym regularly so i'm in very good shape. i really don't have any insecurity in this area, however i also realise that it doesn't seem to make the slightest difference, because even when i'm punching below my weight i still manage to fuck things up with my lack of game. i can be a very outgoing person though, and in certain circles i'm the centre of attention and know how to play an audience, i just can't seem to translate this into success out in "the field".

having said all this, i've had reasonable success with women. i had a long-term girlfriend for 4 years who i was very much into, an on-off relationship with a really hot girl (at least an "8", although i really hate the numbering system and will try and avoid it if possible), and in the past year or so i've slept with about 10 or so girls, mostly online, the occasional bar. however, none were particularly hot, and they also felt a little "lucky", like they were just flukes. i realise i have a LOT to learn.

anyway, this takes me onto the issue of what to DO. i've just downloaded "the mystery method" but haven't had a chance to look at it yet, and i'm also planning on forcing myself to talk to as many strangers as possible when i'm out and about, to get more comfortable and confident around people (although this will be a little different from most people because i actually live in shanghai, so i'll have to do it in my broken chinese which may present different problems/benefits).

i really like the idea of self-improvement, of becoming more assertive and confident, but i'm also very concerned about the possible ramifications. canned opening lines and scripts feel completely alien to me, and also quite wrong. i don't want to feel like i'm dehumanising myself and manipulating those around me, and don't want to become all-consumed by my "game". so my question is this: IS IT POSSIBLE TO BECOME A SUCCESSFUL PUA WITHOUT SELLING YOUR SOUL?

this is a long and unfocused post, i know, but i'd really like to hear some words of advice and encouragement as i start what feels like a new chapter in my life.

peace,

daggers

hey and welcome to as you put it 'the game'

I'm glad to hear you're in it to improve yourself and not to take advantage of women.

allow me to try and answer some of your questions, some you have to answer and choose yourself. Social skills are like anything else in the world, you have to work on them and if you don't you'll just end up being 'wiped out'.

'With great power comes great responsibility' superman 2002
And it is true my friend, i can say i have been in your shoes 'is this right, is it really this easy?' well the simple is 'yes' it is right as long as your intentions are right. Don't loose you're morals just loose the wimpish boy inside.

as about the language barrier, you'll soon learn to use that to your advantage, take me the other night. PUA all boils down to being a more positive, fun and centered.


If your happy with your situation, then PUA is not for you it's all or nothing, trust me knowing a bit is so fu.king annoying and you will be worse off than before.
so before you start, be ready to take what the world throws at you, take nothing personally, be able to laugh at your stupid mistakes, you can't beet going for a kiss opened mouthed i won't forget the surprise on both of our faces.


If you need any help feel free to PM, but most of all get out their, if at first you have to drink to get the conferdent than do but slowely make it less you make so many mistakes whiles drunk

all the best bro

HEy I'm in shanghai as well, with a couple of other guys, one thing you could do is join the china lair, anyways nice to meet you, I'm prob an afc at this stuff as well, just found this forum.



give me a call 13512176584



-Kai

I work everyday so I'm more into the day game rather than at night =) hope to see you soon

Hey man I figured I'd answer your second to last paragraph. When i first got into it I had similar questions and concerns that you do. I didn't want to change my personality just to pick up women. I always didn't want to be a manipulator.

I was hesitant about using some of the given openers so I began making up my own but basing them around the psychology of what the canned openers were using. It let me express my personality and it helped me transition much better.

As to selling your sole.. you only do that if you want to. Pick up is not about manipulating..necessarily. It is being able to pull those natural emotion strings that we were born with ya know Attraction, love, humor, blah blah. When you are able to bring out these emotions this is when you get the results your are looking for, whatever it be.

A quick touch on the language barrier is that PU is not necessarily on what you say. It's amazed me how much of it is non-verbal and just the way you carry yourself.

On that PU has changed my life for the better. I have much more confidence in any situation that I am put in. I am able to bring out the best in myself and the best in others. I have a lot more fun when I'm out and have become a memory in many people's mind. Don't get me wrong I am by no means trying to build myself up. But since being involved with all this I am driven by being out going and involving myself in conversations. It's helped me in all my lifes interactions and relations.

I hope this answers some questions you have had and sets some concerns to ease. Best of luck to you.

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