I do find it pretty odd and yet very interesting because I believe this deals with the power of the social circle. I don't work with them so I'm barely associated within their circle, gossip, and drama. I noticed within their working environment, there are barely any guys working there compared to the many girls and barely any guys their age.

You know what else is pretty interesting? There's another guy that works with them whom all the ladies agree that he's hot and yet.... he's not really included in the "Guys they would fuck" category. The reason that I've heard as to why these 3 girls like this oblivious dude is because he's really nice. That sounds so weird to me lol.

My friend and this guy have been alone various times. She's too nervous to do anything about it and he just DOESN'T do anything about it.
I completely think that's dead on. She's so bored, man. She's been having on and off sex with her ex-boyfriend for almost a year now. She wants an escape and I notice that whenever she brings up her ex. She can't even explain why she likes this dude except that she feels comfortable around him. I guess that's more than enough of a reason to like someone.

Oh yea, Zip, your blog is down.

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"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he did nothing because he could do only a little." - Edmund Burke

Dear Zip,

I am sure you know that eye contact is an important part of seduction. The question is, do you notice if guys you are attracted to vary the frequency and interval of their eye contact with you? Do you find him gazing into your eyes more or less after you start telling him about yourself, and after he starts telling you about himself? Have guys ever purposely broken eye contact with you to pique your interest? Is there ever a good time for prolonged eye contact avoidance?

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

Medic,

Dude, thank you. Much appreciated and mondo respect back at ya.

P.S. pleasure to see you and your new friend yesterday!

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- Zip

Yes I notice. Of course I do. Anyone here read the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyers? That book is pure teen romance fluff, but the one thing she gets right is the intensity and pressure of eye contact (and how we are ALL subconsciously obsessed with it.)

I mean, girls usually break and reengage eye contact as a anti-slut defense. Also, to create a sense of shy mystery. It's a tool we use to make you men think it's your idea to come over and talk.

Of course, any person with social skills will deeply look into my eyes when we're going into deep rapport or he's about to kiss me. Those are the two moments when you use direct, non-flinching eye contact to really send the message home.

I don't want to say DON'T USE EYE CONTACT HERE because different methods and styles dictate when you use what. I'd suggest you don't pull a one-sided staring contest the entire time you're talking to her unless your goal is to freak her out. I'd just say... make sure you employ direct and deep eye contact when you're hitting the honest or passionate points.

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- Zip

Hi Zip, At the mo i have this girl who im really keen on, i got with her at this party too many times to count, went to see her last nite and got with her again, and we really enjoy each others company but she wants to take it slow and not rush things into a relationship, so i turned it round like i made that suggestion as not to make me look stupid anyway she has a endless supply of guys because shes a extremerly desirable girl which is understandable, however shes not too trustworthy and has a reputation to cheat, what i would like to know is, you know how you get those girls who will not cheat and all they think about is their boyfriend, well i would like to get her to become like that, how do i go about this? how do i have to act and what do i have to say? also would love to make this into a relationship any pointers? much appreciated

Totti

Here's the thing.. you can't change a person. Unless you run some shit like the October Man sequence to reassign her sexual persona or whatever, she is who she is.

You can, however, positively manipulate the situation to make her NOT WANT anyone else. You basically let her do her thing. Rather than constrain her, you act as if it doesn't matter. She is who she is, and you are a blast to be with. She'll wonder why you're not trying to restrain her and it will make her qualify in her actions to you. Or, she'll run with it and flip around with others. Either way, you win. In the latter case, she wasn't worth it.

I'm one of those girls who will not do the monogamous thing. It's not that I'm sleeping or seeing someone else, it's just that I need the freedom. The only way people keep me is if they allow me to be free.

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- Zip

ms. zip! contacting you seems pretty hard, so i guess i'll ask the question on the forum. I have a negative connotation with cute, i perceive its meaning to be "you're nice enough, but i don't want to fuck you." Is that actually right? And since i get cute alot, and hot never, i was wondering what i could do to maybe drift over to the hot side. I know you're busy, so thanks for your time!

Zip, is there anything to be gained out of seducing someone close to you? Why or why not?

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"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he did nothing because he could do only a little." - Edmund Burke

Hello Again Zip

Seeing As You Give Such Good Advice Im Back Again

Im Goin Away This Weekend And Will Not See The Girl That I Talked About Above Till The Weekend After Next

1. How Can I Ask Her Where We Stand? From A PUA Way.

2. She Always Meets Me, Rings Me, Txt's Me, Tells Me She Loves Me Or "Love You Babe x" At The End Of Txts, But How Can I Start Something Serious? In A PUA Way

3. How Can I Keep That Attraction Spark For 2 Weeks


Thanks Again

Mr Totti;;

I enjoyed reading through the last 66 pages =) I learnt a lot reading other questions and answers

I also have a few questions:
1) Would you ever date an asian guy? What are the major problems with asian guys do you see? And how can we solve these?

2) You say making a girl laugh is the best way to pickup. I am not a very funny person in general. How can I learn to be more funny?

3) Everyone tells me that confidence is attractive. How do I become more confident? My voice sometimes shakes, my legs shake when I do public speaking...I'm not actually scared...but it's unconscious movements...annoying because my friends tell me it comes off as not confident.

4) I am a vet by profession. What do girls think of this? Can this be framed as a DHV?

5) I am not looking so much to get laid YET (Yes, I am a nerd and a virgin still) ...just to make more female friends and friends in general and become more confident with women. I do not have many friends and my social circle is very small. I can open and get numbers very easily, but interest tends to fade by the first or second meeting, and it seems almost as those I piss people off unconsciously...don't know what it is, but I wish I could fix it. I sail competitively, I base-jump illegally, and I am also a part-time hip-hop dance teacher. Funny, I find this stuff cool, but I invite girls to join me, but no one wants to ever come. What are cool activities to do with girls? I guess I am not a very cool person...hmmm.... Oh also, when I ask people to come do something, they inevitably ask 'who's coming'. I just say, "just me"...and they always ask 'where are your friends?' to which I don't know a good response...[I don't actually have any friends I can invite out regularly...I've always liked doing things alone, but I want to change...]. Perhaps the real question is, "How can I be cool"?

6) I suck at conversation. I have too many akward silences. I just don't know what to talk about...like with guys, silence is bonding; but with girls, I just don't know where to move the conversation. Any suggestions would be helpful.

7) Whenever I meet a girl, I tend to also make friends with their girlfriend. So I get both their numbers. Then whenever I call one, both come out. Is this because attraction was not enough? OR is it because I am getting both their numbers? It's driving me nuts how girls I'm attracted to bring their girlfriends on dates. What is appropriate in this scenario...should I call them on it? Or just walk off if they bring a friend?

8 ) I just broke up with a girl who has been my 'girlfriend' for 3.5 years...she gave me handjobs and let me kiss her all over...except touch her down there or have sex. I was just sick of her not putting out...was this the right decision or should I have kept her?

9 ) What would be a good 'reason' to invite a girl to my house after meeting at a bar?

Thanks very much for your help Zip. I really appreciate it.

Gentlemen,
This fine young man has been trying to contact me for ages, and I keep on having to put it off due to everything that's been going on. Apologies!

Okay, if you're getting "cute" then don't run from it. Embrace it. Don't try to necessarily change yourself just because you're scared of being cute.

Cute is not a bad thing, however, it's not aggressive (so you can get away with a lot more.) You can sneak in under the radar.

Cute guys roll in, surprise her with your personality, and get in in ways that hot guys cant ("hot" guys have HIGH expectations to fill.) The key is to somehow escalate the sexual tension and bla bla bla so that you don't stay "innocent cute."

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- Zip

Tricky. You want to ruin friendships (with your supposed target in your friend group and the rest of the members in it.)

Use your social circle to your advantage. Befriend many many women. Just as friends. Ask AFC Adam about this, he's got the best way of handling it.

Now, if it's a "the love of your life" situation... then fuck, seduce that person close to you, with care and eloquence.

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- Zip

Stop thinking about "a PUA way." If you're in a relationship, and there's a miscommunication about where each of you are (most of the time, in a healthy relationship, you KNOW and don't have to verbally confirm it) THEN you just ask. Simple, non-needy, non-dicky.
Don't think about being a PUA in a relationship. You just go with the flow, keep a healthy balance of neediness, sexual attraction, excitement, comfort, and growth. Only if things get out of whack or reach a point (like the L word) do you need to talk about it.

As far as starting something serious with this girl who is obviously into you, you just do it. Are you talking about being monogamous or ? Not really sure exactly what you're asking.
Two weeks? That's a short amount of time to worry about attraction. It's just there. You keep it by having a lifestyle that garners attraction.

I'm going to point you to this article I wrote about burning out. It's on the pickup podcast blog.

http://www.pickuppodcast.com/blog/2008/ ... rning-out/

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- Zip

wow, i think this post should be made into a book, like sell it on amazon or someting.

I go to high school, im popular but not the big man on campus or anything and there is a girl( whos very popular and knows tons of guys) whos 2 years older than me and i fell for her. I havent talken to her much since the beginning of summer(2 1/2 months ago), i could hang out wit her if i asked her but i dont know what to do then. I know she finds me handsome and funny and cool, but i dont know if shes attracted, im probably in her in her friend zone. how do i make a move on her? hope the best for you tankx

Hi Zip.

Coming from a college student:
In your opinion, best/most comfortable way to suggest bringing a girl back to my dorm?

I was thinking something along these lines:
"My room mates just got this new RC race car track, we should go back and race each other! [You can only stay for 15 minutes though I have to wake up early.]"
Or, "I'm starving, I think I'm going to go back to my dorm and get some food? You should come too, you look hungry."
Or, "It's kinda loud in here, we should go somewhere more quite."
Or, "I'm not a fan of public make-outs (after k-close), want to go somewhere more private?"

I know I should false time-constraint when taking a girl in to my place to preserve comfort. Let me know what you think or if you have any better ideas (maybe not lines but a slow-build sort of thing).

Thanks.