Hey guys,

Well I have this problem I met this girl out from my work, she came up and opened me at a club we chatted briefly. Then we spoke online for a few weeks I did the cocky/ playful thing, which worked, I got her over to my place to watch a movie. Anyways went in for the K-close and she turned away some LMR obviously. She said it would be awkward because we work together and she only rarely even kisses randoms when she is out because she doesn’t like relationships and doesn’t like the followup the next day. She is a real goody goody type girl, pink room princess kind not slutty or anything in anyway. Anyways getting back on track I said ill show her a magic trick I pulled her fringe down over her eyes and kissed hey quickly and said now you’re going to have to be awkward at work whether you like it or not. She called me cheeky and I suggested we just relax and have fun and try that kiss again reassuring her that I keep my personal life separate from work and noone would know. So we kiss and all have a great night together been really affectionate, I made no advances for sex because its not my goal, to make her my girlfriend is. So a week passes and we talk to each other on the phone, online or through text msgs everyday we rarely see each other at work because we are in different departments. She suggests she comes over for another movie night she comes around that thurday night. We start kissing straight away watching the movie just enjoying each others company anyways toward the end of the night we decide to talk about where we are going. She immediately states that she likes me but hates the idea of a relationship so suggests we stop kissing and just remain great friends before things get too complex she seemed really uncertain and confused about her decision but then was firm. This girl is a HB9 so hot but that would only be enough to make me want to f-close her but its her personality that makes me want to have her as my girlfriend we get along so well have so much in common. So I guess I am just asking you for help to get her as my girlfriend???? PLEASE!

Try not to take this the wrong way man, but the moment you get that desperate and throw the rules of the game out to try to make her your gf you already lost buddy.

Quick summary: You were doing great, she enjoyed your presence, liked being with you, and you'd probably have had a lot more nice days together, and it would've possibly turned out to be something long-term.
However, the minute you start talking about "where this is going", you basically just got needy, and put a lot of pressure on it all. Instead of giving her some time to make up her mind, you kinda put a "decide now"-mood, which is really awkward.

I'm not sure if or how bad you messed up, but try to keep it all low pressure. Sure you enjoy her presence, sure you like hanging out with her, but you won't "force" anything, and it'll be fine however it turns out as long as the two of you have fun. That's the kind of mood you want.

I didnt force the "where are we going convo" she brought it up saying we cant just hook out every now and then and that she didnt want an rship. I just said Im easy and prefer just to go with the flow.

So I havn't tried to make her my gf. And people get into the game for different reasons not just to get laid.

I just want her as my girlfriend and want to know the right way of going about it.

So should of freeze her out so she realises she needs me or something like that?

You have that barrier of work that you have to overcome. The thing that we are missing is what you said after she said let's just be friends. What was the conversation like after that? Did you try to escalate again or did you just go along with it?

You have to fight what you want for in life.

If you want this girl then you are going to have to take steps to make her yours and not sit passively by while she places you in the friend zone and meets some other dude later on.

At that moment of the friends conversation and seeing the uncertainty you could have escalated things physically again. Whats in the past is in the past though.

We need to get her back 1 x 1 with you. You need to get her thinking who the hell cares what other people thing at work, you too like each other. You're in different departments so it shouldn't be a conflict of interest. If you two are both happy then that's all that matters and damn the rest.

Get her 1 x 1 with you and pull the trigger to escalate because I think there is a good chance she wants to have you. She kissed you a few times and those weren't on accident. She had a choice and made her choice. She's worried about social pressure. You have to find a way to ease that tension in her mind. Remember when are emotional not logical so you can't leave out how you understand how she "feels."

Life is complicated one way or the other. Like you said you don't see her much at work anyways. It's too early to start stating your feelings for her because that may come off as a bit needy, but do persue her some.

Hope it helps, and good luck!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

After the lets just be friends we kissed more and she was saying things like we need to make the most of our last kisses or something. With the lets just be friends convo I said well im not going anywhere and its youre decission what happens.

I can get her back again 1x1 for another movie night and I am condident I could kiss her again. The problem isn't really our workplace but more changing her way of life that she is happy with, she just seems against relationships. I want to change her mindset make her think that I am too good to be just a friend and that if she doesnt act she could lose me. I know she feels for me but like you said "she is worried about social pressure."