Ok so I finaly got the balls to do my first approach on a hb. I was at a bookstore looking around when I seen this smoking girl doing just the same, so I follow her around too nervous to just go up and open her right there. so after about 15 min we are in the same isle and she sits down and looks at a book. Now I didn't want to approach her while she was on the ground because that would probably make things more awkward so I just waiting till she finaly got up then approacher her.

So I finaly went in for it and said a firm "hi" to which she turned my way and said hi, somewhat surprised. I then opened up with the "I saw you and realized if I didn't say something...I would never find out what you are like...other than what I already know."

To which she confusingly replyed "what do you want to know about me?"

which was a curve ball as I was expecting a "what do you already know about me?"

So I proceeded to say I thought she seemed interesting and that I would like to get to know her.

At this point her face was beet red and we were both kinda laughing. Then my memory gets kinda fuzzy here but I recall bringing up the section we were in, which happened to be "personal growth" commenting on how it was good and whatnot, which she proceeded to tell me she had wished she was there for her, but she was looking for a book for a realitive because her (the hb's) niece had killed herself. I lamented with her for a few, then she laughed about how she was sorry that she killed the mood or something to that extent and then awkward silence came in....


about 30 seconds later I proceeded with the almost routine questions such as "what area do you live in" "what school do you go to" and so on ect. (I did notice her playing with her hair so I took this as a good signal.)

Shortly afterwards more silence came in as eventually we were both staring at the books, I had run out of things to say so I went in for the number by saying I had to run and that I would like to talk to her again. Suprisingly she was willing to give me her number, I had brought a pen and paper but asked if she had paper wich she did, then she kneeled over to write on it when for no real reason other than to kill the silence I said "I'm glad your writing it because I have terrible handwriting" Lol then after she handed it to me I said "I'll talk to you later hernamehere" and as I was starting to walk away she said "it was good meeting you" to which I said "good meeting you too" while not even totally facing her, Ugh. Lol.



So what do you guys think? Remember this was my first approach so please be nice :3

Any feedback would be helpful.

_________________
"It never got weird enough for me."

You were very nervous, and stalled too much in some places, but you did some surprisingly good things.

1. First you demonstrated genuine curiosity with a classic field-tested opener. Most new guys who get into PUA don't believe it works at first, so they try to go it their own way with their own rather lame AFC "material" which sounds desperate and fake. You avoided this trap and went with something that works.

2. Second, you maintained eye contact (I am assuming) until you got the number.

3. Third, you found some commonalities and developed rapport.

4. You walked away and turned from her as you said "nice to meet you too". This shows that you have high value and don't really care if you get her or not. Playing it cool! Props, man.

Now your problems:

* You waited a LONG time to approach. This girl must have been VERY patient or else you are just good-looking or well-dressed. Because waiting 15 minutes KILLS the potential for attraction that will give you an edge over looks and clothes,

* You immediately sunk into "rapport-seeking" mode. What DID you want to learn about her? The classes she's in? BORING! Tease her a little bit. At least joke about her major instead of just letting that thread go. Exploit every topic for any DHV value it has at all! Be like a pirate with conversations - loot every good ship! You should have maintained attraction a bit longer before switching to rapport.

* You asked dull questions in rapport that sounded like an interview. Many girls will NOT tolerate this, and even the ones that do give you their number might not have any interest in responding. Sure you got the number, but girls are notoriously deceptive when they give their numbers out - even sometimes they think that giving a fake number or not answering any of your calls is preferable to being rude and rejecting you outright.

* Awkward silences. This often happens when you're thinking of something nifty to say. Don't. Just modify conversational threads, use side-thread if possible. Don't EVER qualify your decisions to her.

For example when you used the excuse that you're glad SHE wrote her number because your handwriting is messy, that implies you can't read your own writing, which is a HORRIBLE DLV. You did not need to say that.

If you wanted something to say while she was writing your number, a quick tease would have been much better, like: "Now this IS your real number, right? Cuz I don't like to find out that it's the local Denny's. Don't worry, I'll only call you 1000 times a day."

Think about this, and use more high-value gambits like the ones in these forums. However, this went VERY WELL for a first sarge. I wish I had known as much as you do when I first started out. I was clueless and had to drag my way up through trial and error - until I discovered the PUA community. BTW, WELCOME to the FORUMS. Hope you have fun here.

~HotIce

Yeah, great start! My handwriting is simply horrid too. But, I simply proclaim I'm writing in Egyptian, or Hebrew, or whatever fits. I've turned something totally negative into a funny remark showing humour. If I just simply want the number, I ask them to program it into my phone, into a neat little custom application that just has a number and name field, so its dead easy to use, then I move around a little, as if I'm rushing, like you did when you were walking away, which was great! I'd be interested to know how you get on!