Hi, my name is Panpan and I am new to the forums but not the game.

I've been talking to a good number of people on here recently and one topic keeps coming up over and over again.

I thought about making my first post an infield report but decided against it after my last few conversations. This post is for those who have little to no experience with Pick-up, and those who are struggling.

Pick-up (PU) or game is a lot like warfare. You have enemies (i.e. Interrupts and Obstacles, personal anxieties) as well as allies (i.e. Wingmen, Pivots, this forum). One ally that I see overlooked time and again is that of female friends.

Presumably, you are here, reading this post because you want to be able to have a relationship or relations with a female. You want to know what to say to her, how to look or appear to her in order to inspire her to choose you over some other guy. So what can you do when you are starting? You can buy new clothes or wear your clothes differently. You can learn canned lines to help you through your sticking points. You can even learn hypnosis and NLP techniques to make her more susceptible to your advances. All of these will help. But from my experience, nothing will help as much as having a large base of female friends at your disposal.

Female friends (henceforth abbreviated as FF) offer you a wide variety of options in helping your game. The first and probably most important area they can help you with is confidence in talking to women and comfortability when speaking with women. Many guys suffer from nervousness around women. If you hang out with women often, you become desensitized to being around them. You realize that they are just as easy to talk to as men. You no longer hold them to be this entirely different species that you have to try and understand. They are human, and from being around them, you will understand this. You will feel more at ease and be less likely to exhibit nervous energy when speaking to them. If you do not have females to hang with, make some friends. If you have female friends, go out with them.

FF also have inside information when it comes to how you look and how you will be perceived. Ask them what they think of your look. Ask them for pointers on what to wear and how to shape your avatar. Trust me. If you ask a woman to help you with your clothing or how you look, 95% of the time you will be answered with shrieks of excitement. They love makeovers usually and you letting them help is the equivalent of them winning a prize. Take advantage of this. Take them shopping with you and they give you social proof! Ask them for pointers. They will most likely have a better opinion than you or almost any guy you know.

FF also can function as pivots or wing women when you go out sarging. This works especially well when cold approaching in bars and clubs. With a woman on your arm you are money when approaching a set. You immediately have social proof. You can use her to occupy obstacles. You can disarm the entire group because of her presence. Having a girl who will accompany you to the clubs will greatly increase your chances of success.

My advice to those who are new to the community is to work to build a network of female friends. Make your early approaches all about just making friends. Go out and meet people. Working this angle will benefit you more than you can imagine.

Good points but if your having trouble with your innergame your gunna have trouble gettinng girls as friends, but getting them as friends is also good practice.

SPOT ON! Panpan.

I know for a fact that having quality female wings are a HUGE advantage. Just like a wing they could come buy for example and simply inquire if you need saving or give you a peck on the cheek or ask if you need a top up.

OMG I can't express how important it is to have a good female wing. It gives you immediate social status and adds to the social dynamics of the interaction.

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Be Do Have

Thanks Hob. Working on a new post about Adam's webinar and the theory behind his game. I'll let you know when I post

FF, are certainly a good thing to have. Especially ones that have a lot of their own social proof and/or have high value themselves. As it will make it all that easier to pick up girls.

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Back, starting over as of 2012.

Nice post. FF are great! They also understand the game better than your male friends... Who you have to start over from scratch with every time...

Hey great post Panpan.

I totally agree, but im having huge problems making FF. Not because im not a confident or nice guy, i used to have alot of chick friends, but since i joined the military and moved to a different state, i have only got military mates. I go out a fair bit and try gaming (although im still very new to all of this) but every time i meet a girl and get a #close, with the only purpose of being friends with them, i never seem to be able to organise to meet up with them again out on the town. Some dont reply or some just dont go out that often and when they eventually do they've forgotten the last time we met up. It's proving to be very difficult since every chick i meet is out on the town and its a really bad place to try and make friends. Any advice/tips ?

Tooks aren't there females at your base? If so couldn't you become friends with them or is there some "code" or rule/law that says you can't mingle with the other sex on base.

Tooks!

If you're having trouble with flakes or not making a memorable impression, there are a number of things that could be off in your gaming and interaction. I'll just list some off the top of my head and take what you will.

If you close a girl too early after meeting her, you have not had an oppourtunity to add much value to your interaction. The longer you spend with a girl, DHVing and adding value, building and breaking rapport, building comfort, and just having a good time, the more likely she will want to do it again. If this is the problem, then just stick around longer. Work on your conversation skills, run routines if you have nothing else to do. It will depend on the girl and the situation as to what will work best here, but all in all, get to know her better and let her know you better. Make sure that your meeting is fun and enjoyable and she'll be more likely to follow through on a time bridge.

Another problem could be that you are ejecting right after the close. I like to number close, and then continue building comfort. It makes the close seem less important, more like a side effect of your interaction, than the purpose. Keep talking afterwards, keep building rapport. It will help.

Another issue could be your day 2. If you try to time bridge a girl into a day 2, it needs to be a day 2 she would want to join. Make it fun and exciting, make it an activity or event rather than only about you two hanging out. So when you invite her and/or her friends you should be enthusiastic about what's going on. Be excited and you will be contagious. Linking back to the previous meeting isn't necessarily important, but can be helpful (Se my tips and tricks I use below).

Tips and tricks I have used:

-Leave a lock in prop with her. I have used rings and necklaces before as well as scarves and hats. When you meet her and close her, give her something, preferably something inexpensive, and tell her to hold onto it for you. She can give it back the next time she sees you. I don't use this very much anymore, but have used it many times. Once she has it, she can assuage her own worries about a day 2 by telling herself that she has to get this back to you. She will be able to maintain plausible deniability, protecting herself from telegraphing too much interest by showing up. It will make it easier then for her to come meet you.

-When I number close a girl, I text her so she will have my number. I have a few on my phone that I use, my favorite one is "Out of all the girls I'm friends with... you're one of them!" It's a cute little message that she can keep in her inbox. It is connected with our night and when she reads it she can draw out the memory much quicker. Btw, if you have a preset standard message to save, pretend like you are typing so it seems spontaneous.

-Call the girl first, don't txt invite. Texting is useful, but not for everything. If you cal the girl, you already stand out from the majority of guys. Texting is a much easier way to contact someone but when contacting her first, it can show a lack of confidence, not to mention it's hard to convey enthusiasm through a text.

-If you call and get her voicemail, leave a message. When you do, use a hook point to get her to call back. Mention something amazing that just happened to you, something interesting that you wanted to share, something big that is coming up, anything that might make her want to call to hear the details. Don't just drop the invite and hang up. If you do, all she has to do is not call back. As the old Mountain Dew Code Red basketball commercial said "No easy buckets!"

Hope that helped, if not, let us know a little more about your situations. But for now, just get out there and meet people, try insta-dates, be friendly with everyone. Happy Hunting!

Panpan