Hi all,

Today I feel like I'm rattling around in my own head too much, so I decided to join this forum. I'm English, 34 and I'm currently spending some time in Italy - till the end of 2008. In the past I've had a few girlfriends but I've always been incredibly shy, so I've always found it difficult to meet women -- and to meet the women I want to meet.

After 3 years of being single, I heard about "Gambler"'s course in London. Actually he's sort of a friend of a friend of a friend. I wanted to check out London anyway, so one weekend I flew back to England and took the course.

The course was crazy. In a good way. I was somehow able to suspend most of my inhibitions for a weekend. Suddenly I discovered that when I acted confidently, women seemed to become attracted to me. It was as if a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. I was astounded.

Once back in Italy I had to face the language barrier and the fact that I'm in a small town where everyone talks about everyone else. Not good. But I persisted with day game. Many of my inhibitions reasserted themselves once back here, but I could at least ask for directions or something stupid like that, and then I could get into a conversation. I was seeing lots and lots of IOIs, but usually then I'd get nervous and walk off.

However, I found a girlfriend very quickly by this method! So my situation is now, I'm seeing a girl, hurray - but I don't think she's right for me long-term. And the annoying thing is, the more I ask women for directions I don't want, the weirder it feels. My heart isn't in it anymore, and it shows. I don't get as many IOIs now. But I can't bring myself to do what I want to do - to start conversations casually, with no tricks. I've done this twice with good results each time, but normally I can't do it! I want to do the AFC thing of going somewhere and saying hi to every girl I pass, but it seems impossible .... I am too worried about looking stupid.

The thing is, I have to find a way of progressing, because the feeling I had during and after the course was amazing. For a week or so I was the person I wanted to be -- someone who was in charge of his own mouth and could say roughly what he wanted to whoever he wanted. It was a fantastic feeling.

I'm going to do another bootcamp here in Italy in a month. Meanwhile if anyone has any advice -- or any questions about these bootcamps for that matter --- I'm right here!

For me, my interest is in natural game. And day game more than night game. I want to be able to say what I want, to who I want, in the tone of voice that I want. That's all really. I want to not be hung up on what other people think of me.

I'm looking forward to meeting some other wannabe PUAs in London when I return. Somehow I can approach anyone when I'm with someone and have backup. Alone ... it's not so easy. I guess I'm worried about being seen as a lone weirdo. But then this is precisely the fear I want to face. I know I'm not a weirdo. People generally like me. Why do I feel like one?

I understand what you mean about the insincerity you feel about the whole thing. That got me to quit using any seduction knowlage for around 6 months, but I have decided i deserve to have the life I want. I think the best idea is to try doing something more sincere , and gives you a little more room for the conversation to develop into a genuine conversation not a few exchanged words on the street, like "Where is a fun place for a weekend vacation thats nearby?" or "Where do you most like to eat in town/around?".

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Note: I do not claim to be, consitter myself, or want my advice to hold the credibility of, a pickup artist. All advice I give is my novice opnion and a sincere attempt to give usefull input.