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At first my thought was "well that's a good way to lose a girls attention" and therefore miss out on someone possibly interesting or simply some ass.
But i think it was style who said "you have to be willing to lose the girl". I am now starting to use that philosophy....although it REALLY feels wrong. If a girl is asking you to hang out that night,....you can a. take advantage of that situation and do it....or b. respond as you put "my plans SPAM are tentative..so maybe."
The bad thing about option (A) is that she can now at the last minute flake...leaving you with built up anticipation and feeling like a loser.
But (B) leaves you more in control....although by playing that "hoops" game..the girl might not jump the hoop because she's playing the same game... leaving you with built up anticipation and needing to jerk off. (unfortunately like tonight)
I'm sure a PUA will say option B(tentative plans/maybe/possible) is a good response so it leaves you in more control....but that gives the girl the option to recognize the game you're playing....reciprecate in her response/action and leaves both of you at a draw. Maybe both of you really DO want to hang out and like each other....but protecting the ego comes first. That's my problem with playing games is....not putting yourself out there ...just like direct vs indirect.
Slyder i can see your point here, but your thinking how a guy thinks, we are say as we do creatures....girls say yes and mean no, and say no and mean no, so we cant really be sure if they mean no or no
Seriously though, the idea here is that if a girl is "using' you just to satisfy her need for attention, you shouldnt be jumping the gun to do so. Some of the lines of communication they open are purely for this purpose.
What im saying is to truely frame control over the long stretch, you need to ignore most if not all of the "me" questions, which they ask only to entertain thier own needs. If she asks you a vague question its more likely she will flake on you then if she asks you a specific question, to which you respond but not in her favor completely.
Lets examine the examples i use. Also keep in mind at first you may be lying, saying you have plans when you dont, but the time will come shortly where thats the case every weekend, you have too many plans for too many people to do all of it in 1 weekend, and then you do have to make choices.
So in my example, lets say a girl asks what your doin this weekend and its tuesday...Sure if you have already closed in some way maybe shes all about you. Otherwise shes trying to get a feel for you, she most likely has little intention of planning anything with you.
Think about it this way, have you ever called a buddy and gone "Hey what are you doing this weekend." The answer is no, you might ask "Is there anything going on this weekend" or "Are you busy this weekend, i need to get out". Also more often then not id bet your specific when asking your friends whats going on, "Hey are you doing anything friday night" or "hey whats going on friday night?"
If she had plans, or specific intent with you, shed have asked more specificlly when and what you were doing, just like you would your buddies.
Which brings us to her asking another way "what are you doing tongiht' or "what are you doing friday". This is where you should respond, but that doesnt mean jump on the oppurtunity...this may make her flake out. Instead leave it a maybe, give her a hoop to jump through, and make her work for your time.
Think about when you were a kid, if your mother told you you could have 2 cookies and a glass of milk, you would most likely be satisfied (and thus uninterested in more cookies). Now instead your mom told you you couldnt have any cookies...to what lengths would you go for cookies and how many cookies would you take?
Or take for example Police trying to trick thiefs...if the set a bag of money on the ground out in plain sight...almost no one would take it...chances are someone would eventually notice and call the police.
On the other hand if you left a bag of money in plain sight within a locked car...chances are more likely someone will break into the car to steal the money.
Why, because they have to work for it...when something is too easy people feel uneasy about it, and naturally retract from thier own intentions or behavoirs.
The idea here is to filter out the hour long convos of fluff talk where you try to frame control and instead having a quality 15 min convo where you really get to work your magic, because your in control and shes chasing you now.
CHAT
