Ok…so here comes a long one.. Comments are much appreciated!!!
Ok so I’ve been friends with this chick for like 2 years. She used to date a buddy of mine and I work with her. I know that’s three red flags right there eh? Well anyway I’m still AFC for the most part and I have a thing for this girl. I have always been careful and I don’t think I’ve completely fallen into the friend zone. Basically at a party the other night, she was giving me mad ioi’s so I went in for the kill with a decent kiss close I learned and she said it was really smooth (not in a sarcastic way…I hope) anyways so then things took a turn. Instead of just going right back in for a second kiss, I waited for her reaction…there was none. So I asked “so…do u want to kiss me again?” She said her mouth was kinda dry. Is that an IOD? Her body language and everything seemed to do a complete 180 and I had no idea wut to do so I hit the eject button. I’ve heard about “buyer’s remorse” how they will see if they can get u and when they do they move on, all just to stroke their ego. So I brought it up the next time I saw her sober and she said she didn’t remember kissing me tho I could tell she definitely did. She hadn’t drank very much and I could see something in her face when I brought it up. This girl is terrible at communication. Did she say that cause she wants to forget about it and just be friends or can is she just terrible at expressing herself? Her response about forgetting it caught me completely off guard and I’m pretty sure I started turning red or something because she asked if I was ok and then she said she was sorry that she didn’t remember then she changed the subject completely.. I am spending wayyy too much time thinking about this and I know most of you are just going to tell me to game other girls but I really have a thing for this one.. the situation is I work with her twice this week and we’re going to the same party this weekend. give me your thoughts gentlemen. I never saw myself as the kind of guy who would post pieces of his personal life online but many of you are a lot wiser than I.

Ps. Theres no chance she could stumble across this while surfing the net right? I think too much…haha… .... ....

bump

Your expressing needyness, which she can sense. Work on your inner game. You need to be completely outcome-independent, be cool and talkative.

Eg. work on your inner game.

I can reccomend these:
DVD: Ross Jeffries - Let Ross Help You Boost Your Inner Game
BOOK: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

thanx for the advice man. so this week when I work with her my plan is too not express neediness and possibly neg/DHV? Then this weekend i'll game other girls and if she initiates kino or suggests isolation then its on? I know my inner game needs work but I'm still trying to plan the best strategy for the here and now..

You seem to be too frustrated with this problem. If I was you, I would just go on a run and do some girls and forget about this one. But that's just me, I mean I don't do that but that's what I would do if I was YOU! Good luck

Ya i know the pua way is to lay 10 girls and then she won't seem like a big deal. but i think I might be able to save this current situation? any1 else agree? if so, how??

buuuuump

Is this an option? When you go to that next party, start flirting with other girls and see if she gets jealous. I remember something about the cat-string theory being effective, but I'm not sure if trying to make her jealous is the same thing.

ya thats kinda my original plan..then i thought that if she DOES get jelous, she'll start flirting with other dudes...
btw is cat-string theory basically the same as push pull?
also, i know its AFC but is it totally out of the question to just tell her i like her and stuff? i wont be able to stay friends with her after if i do. I dont wanna be THAT guy.

Putting my opinion out there and please bear in mind that I'm honestly trying to help and give you the best advice I can.

Move your efforts elsewhere, take your mind off this girl and don't think of her as potential relationship material. You've worked her up in your head to be a great, perfect girl but she has flaws as you've already mentioned.

She was showing that she wasn't comfortable in the situation of the kiss, and after pretending like it didn't happen that she doesn't think of you romantically. Being honest and telling this girl you like her will not help you or her in any way. Until a girl shows signs of interest, attraction and comfort with you forget giving her interest back. Remeber she has to gain your approval.

Maybe at some point in the future you'll hook up but for now this should be completely out of your mind. Work on your innner game and confidence. In terms of style, health and mental state how would you rank yourself? Are you confident in your skin, in social situations and with women of high value?

At the party, don't ignore her, just say hi and chat if you feel like it but concentrate on building your social value by talking to other people, flirting , having fun and making others have fun.

forget about her, even if you still plan to hook with her

why? she did what she did, and you're not needy, you're not an afc(you shouldnt be in her eyes, or at least try) so get on with your life, and be completely indiferent with her

you know, for what she did, if she gets to feel something for you, she will know she has to make the moves, if you do any, on the other side, youll just bump her ego and make her feel more like the hot heartbreaker girl

this has happened to me once, where I was in a relationship with the hottest girl in my life, I was afc, and then she dumped me, what I did? didnt call her, didnt beg for her to come back, didnt talk, didnt sms, didnt accept being friends... one week later she calls me begging... so, I hope you get the point(not that I was awesome, but thats the attitude, in my opnion)

i can see a consensus building haha. and u guys are right. i need to put her out of my mind and game some other girls or something. I'm really liking the advice guys!

update: so she says she's changed her mind about the party and instead wants to hang out tommorow. I told her to give me a call if she wants to..damn that probly wasn't good.. anyways if she calls should I just flake?

also..she offered to give me a ride back to university...should I just take the bus? if I go earlier I can help out with frosh week and meet some new girls. even tho i cant go out to the bar with them cause im not legal for another month, it's still probably a good idea to try and get there so that I can expand my social horizons..right?

alll girl love attention in the form of being fancied by men, its their favourite form of validation. Now you just have to be wary of turning into an orbiter of sorts, a guy she can go to for validation of being wanted, there is nothing better for a female to have than to surround herself with guys who want her, thats why indirect approach and not subcommunicating intrest until she has shown genuine intrest in you works so well, because its human nature to want what we cant have and value what we get AFTER working hard for it.

By you kissing her obviously showed intrest, the fact that she was surprised was because she may not of been expecting it as you probably didnt escalate properly e.g leading up to the kiss my having more and more kino pinging so that the kiss was only a small step up from the previous kino e.g frontal hugging with a stroke of the face to kissing, instead of a big step up from bantering with light touching to a gimmick which then got a kiss. She just sounded taken aback as if the kiss had come from nowhere, maybe not nowhere, but just wasnt expecting it so soon.

Id advise you to take the lead a bit more, dont let her ring you, tell her you dont know if you can hang out as you have some things to do, but you might be free at this time, youll text/ring her about the details. Its your job as a dominant high value male to make decisions and let her fit into your life, she is lucky to spend time with you as you are a busy guy with plenty of other options.

there is no need to flake on plans you have made, but treat her as a friend, when you kissed her you let her know about your romantic intentions, but if you treat her as a friend and a buddy rather than a girl you like, then she will chase you and attempt to bate you into chasing her, all the time becoming more attracted to you. Let her give you a lift, generally people are more likely to like you if they do you a favour because they backwards rationalise to themselves that, because they have done you a favour, they must like you.

As i mentioned, i suggest just taking the lead, easing off on the chasing and treating her like a friend to confuse her a bit as to whether you do still like her, and let her give you a favour or two, i love the fact that attractive females in my life do me favours because they find me valuable company or are chasing me to try and gain my intrest in them (im not attempting to brag hereim just trying to give an example as to why its a good thing for females you like to do you favours, not the other way round).

hope some of it helps

slick

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its not the age of the man that matters, but the wisdom within