What actually happened – Ace's Big Mess Story. I'm bored in Poland, so I wrote this to kill time. Also, to get the story straight in my own head.
Disclaimer:
This isn't a full FR, detailing each sarge. I believe it has a few good pointers though, and hopefully the reader will derive some entertainment value from it. It also serves as a warning - I got into trouble because I'm sort of addicted to sarging (OK, if you prefer to put it properly, I bit more than I could chew.... argh 
)
The last week I was spending in London, I decided it was time to party it up. I was leaving for Poland at 6pm on Sunday, so it was the last opportunity to sarge for at least 3 weeks. Quick breakdown:
Wednesday – Liverpool Street
Meet up with my wings Diamond, JJ and Perry – just to shoot the shit with a bunch of cool guys, 'no sarging' was an actual rule. Then two of Diamond's friends show up and I decide I want to have sex with one of them, HBwednesday. That constitutes breaking the rules. My alter ego, Ace, has no regard for rules that prevent him from having sex with women who are fair game. Those rules make him angry. Breaking away from my traditional field report scheme, I'll just give you my favorite highlights:
(after k-close, walking back to Diamond's car)
[Ace] It's weird... On one hand, I'm happy I'll see my family again, on the other – I'm gonna miss this city. There's so much awesome stuff to do here, it's incredible.
[HB] Have you ever been on the riverside in the morning?
[Ace] Please... you can't think of anything I haven't already done. Twice.
[HB] Did you have sex in a public space before?
[Ace uses his evil patronizing smile]
Expenditure on the smile: 0.00001 calories
Watching her eyes widen while she realizes that wasn't enough of a challenge: priceless.
That's cost-effectiveness for you folks.
[Ace] But we can totally do that now. I mean, the trip to the riverside, don't jump to conclusions here. I might be easy, but I'm not THAT easy.
[HB] You serious?
[Ace] Totally. I'm like every other guy out there, I suggest lots of stupid things. But unlike every other guy, I actually go through with them. How do you think my white hair happened?
[HB] Alright... just so you know, I'm not gonna back down. We're going to the riverside
This posed a logistical problem – I didn't have a condom for closing. Rookie mistake, but my sober brain (kids - don't drink and sarge) figured out a way of fixing it...
[Ace] Done. You have to walk to the car to pick up your stuff, and my apartment's literally 5 minutes away, I'll grab a jumper.
By 'jumper' I meant 'condom'. English is a tricky language.
Yeah, I made it pretty obvious; but there still was an excuse for her to say that 'it just happened'. Exactly where I wanted her to be. I wanted the tension to build up. I could feel her thinking 'is he going to have sex with me tonight?'. Yes I am, sweetie, yes I am. Or so I thought
Long story short – we sat on the bed to smoke out the window, moved to makeout, blasted through enough last-minute resistance to remove the bra. I tried a freeze-out, but... I fell asleep. When I got up, she was still asleep, so the asshole that I am, I took a picture (exhibit 1) and politely waited for her to leave. I still have a twisted version of a moral code, and there's a paragraph that says 'if you take a picture of a girl you fooled around with in your bed, you dont kick her out'. No close, but on we plough. I can always try to re-sarge her after I get back from Poland, but this wasn't solid game (hence no proper FR), so I'm expecting Buyer's Remorse. Learn from my mistakes and don't neglect comfort. Mystery's 4-10 hours of comfort babysitting is always a great guideline.
Thursday – Bar Salsa
Meet up with karlostm from the forum. He's cool and says he likes my style; I decide he is my best friend. My wing Perry turns up as well, wearing shorts (!) and immediately starts talking to a Russian hottie, takes her outside, k-closes even though she had a boyfriend. Women are all whores, except for you if you're reading this. Oh, and our mothers.
Karlos picks a 20 set for me (all hot blondes). I take the dare, walk away with a number and a kiss (no spectacular techniques here, ask if you want details). I want to have sex with her, but she's definitely not someone I'll keep around (women who view Beckham's wife as their role model are not why I'm in the Game). We're chatting on facebook, I'll let you know what happens – she's definitely among my hottest k-closes. (exhibit 2 – the one whose face you can't see, but trust me – you would).
Extract from karlostm's blog:
http://karlostm.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html (just search 'Adam')
Friday – Jewel, Onanon
This night sucked ass. I got Diamond and a former student, Maverick, to come out, and all I did was wing Perry so he could make out with an incredible hottie. It was actually my opening (so technically my set), but in fairness, I was only looking to hook Perry up with some entertainment when I went to the toilet.
Perry was doing great till TheObstacle showed up. She was a warhog the size of a rugby player and very into me – which she demonstrated by picking me up by the head and nearly choking me to death (oh, you think I'm kidding?). She wasn't as terrible as the dreaded SPAM, but she was goddamn close. She didn't want to leave her friend for a second , demonstrating the mother hen mentality: if I don't hook up, neither will my hot friend. I managed to drag her away by stealing her camera, Perry got the close (exhibit 3 – look at the fucking beef on TheObstacle!) but it was totally not worth it (I still love you P-man).
Afterwards, I headed to Onanon with Diamond and Maverick, got the number of a real hot blonde in about 5 minutes – dont get your hopes up, she didnt respond to either of the 2 texts I sent, and I know my basic text game. Point is, I got home around 4am, so got little sleep before...
Saturday – coaching workshop, then all over the place.
I had to get up at 10am to go to this coaching workshop, and I was dead. I made it on time, but I was buttfuck tired. It finished at 6, so I went to see my friend and pivot HBcoco before flying off to Poland – one of my 'exes' was also there. It was fun seeing her again, but I couldn't stick around too long. I agreed to meet up with Maverick, JJ, Perry and his friend Pavel in Bar Salsa, which was super hot (as in 'the temperature was sky-high) so we went bar hopping to cool down.
I split up with Perry and JJ – they dragged two girls home from another bar, I kicked around in Jewel with Maverick – ZERO results (what happened to my game!?), but I hope Mav picked up couple tips from me. He bounced a married woman and her friend (both average and in their 30s) to Onanon. I made out with the married woman (women are all ....?), Maverick took the friend home. Again, no revolutionary techniques here. Pavel was around too, so the two of us played a Polish hen night. All I have to show for it is a nice picture of me grabbing a bridesmaid's ass (exhibit 4), but in fainess, it was not worth hanging out with them until 5am. The only person I took home that night was Pavel, since Perry was hooking up and couldn't be a good host to his friend (teasing, I would have done the same). Pavel is new to the Game, so I expected no help from him. It was a 4-set and I have a hunch that with a good Polish-speaking wing, this could have turned into an orgy – when the women drop 'our boyfriends dont fuck us properly' after 20 minutes of conversation, even a manga geek would know it's on. Not that I have experience with orgies, but if I did, that's how I envision they'd start.
Sunday
I did not sleep before the second day of the coaching workshop, and all the people there noticed. I actually wore sunglasses for most of the day. We had a break at around 1am and since I wasn't going to attend the end of the workshop anyway, I went home to finish packing. I was so exhausted that I collapsed and fell asleep. Woke up – 530 pm. Fuck, I just missed my flight.
My parents got understandably pissed off, but I managed to reschedule that flight to 1230pm on Monday. And then my first k-close, the Polish model (
poland-fr-vt14033.html), texts my British mobile – she's in London and wants to meet up. I have not full montied her yet, and she's one of those girls who get progressively hotter over time. I couldn't resist. I was halfway dead at this point, so I had two Red Bulls just to stay awake. The problem of this sarge is that her friends kept mentioning her boyfriend. I gathered that this wasn't a serious relationship, but I could not make out with her in front of the friends. Clubbing sucks in London on Sunday (if any Londoner can correct me here, I'll be grateful), so we went to the only open pub that we could find. The pub had no isolation spots for makeout, so I could do nothing apart from medium kino until we ditched this hellhole and separated from her friends. Seriously, if you're a mother hen, you'd love that place. You can see the entire place from the entire area, so you'll always be able to keep an eye on your hot friends and make sure they don't hook up. If I ever run into TheObstacle again, I'll disclose the location of this venue for the promise that she doesn't choke me again. I decided I hate that pub and when I'm disgustingly rich, I'll buy it and burn it down to the ground. But I digress.
My simple gameplan was as follows: own the group of friends, ignore her, open one set and merge it with the group, own the group some more. It worked excellent - the guys of the group were cool and friendly; also, I spoke best English, so the bar wasn't set very high as far as owning the conversation went. After ignoring the target for almost the entire night, granting her a few sharp beams of interest here and there to make the ignoring less obvious, I proceeded to the last part of the masterplan:
[Ace] Damn... The whole night went by, this pub is closing in a sec, and I feel like we didn't really have a chance to catch up. I live five minutes away; come join me for another drink, we'll have some stimulating conversation and enjoy some peace and quiet. Also, there's this video I want to show you.
I know what you're thinking – I hid the intention better with HBwednesday. Being tired has the same effect as drinking: it slows you down. In any other state, I would have known to mention something I just bought/watched on YouTube that I absolutely have to show her. But I was tired. Ace is an idiot when he's tired. Also, he gets grumpy.
Unfortunately, the model had work the next day from 7am and for some reason decided that she wanted to go back home at 2am instead of hooking up with me. I decided this made me angry and that I did not want to see her again.
So I got back home and tried to get some sleep – knowing how tired I was, you wouldn't expect this to be a problem, but the Red Bulls were miraculously keeping me awake. It wasn't that glorious energetic state, it was closer to what my wing Blue calls 'living death' – the kind of night when you're tired, want to go to sleep, but you're alternately too hot or too cold. At 4am I decided that if I fell asleep, I would not wake up for my flight, so I went into the kitchen to have a cup of coffee. My body, it would seem, is not without a sense of irony – I fell asleep with my head on the kitchen table while waiting for the coffee to cool down. One of my Japanese SPAM woke me up – 11am. I ran out of the apartment like a madman and hopped into a cab to take me to the airport. Missed the second flight check-in – by 10 minutes.
The size of the mess generated by this is incomprehensible to the average human being. My brother booked me a flight to Warsaw for later that evening. His version of what my parents thought at this point went something like this:
'Man, you should seriously come clean about the whole Game thing. They are seriously freaking out – you go out way too much, there's no way of getting in touch with you when you're playing, and now you do this. When you come back, it's drug tests for you. Possibly therapy. And I'm not sure you'll be coming back to London to finish your degree in September.'
Yeah, he underestimated the parents. I did explain to them what I was doing, resulting in my mother giving me the 'I dont have a son' look and my father being mildly amused by the whole situation. It took my entire manipulation arsenal to end up with just financial trouble, because trust me, it wasn't pretty. Oh, and the fact that I dyed my hair white before going back to Poland did not help.
Product: Awesome life
Price: 499 GBP, parents' respect, daddy's financial support for a month (it pains me that at 20 I still mooch off my parents....)
That settles it – I have no future in trading.
Exhibit 1: (this also sheds some light on the sexual logistics in the LJBF LMR report
ljbf-lmr-lr-toughest-sarge-thusfar-vt24143.html
you can see that it wasn't so difficult to do the stuff that sounded impossible, such as closing a window with my foot while switching on the light and making out
)
Exhibit 2:
Exhibit 3:
Exhibit 4:
CHAT
) so it got messy after some sarging...
