Hi J Smooth...

2 Questions.

1) If a girl stops messaging you (quite early within the game) should you ever send a second message (which may DLV - needy behaviour) to try and reframe or just write this girl off and move on?

2) I used the "are you as interesting as you look?" opener and got back "Im actually way more interesting than I look" back... it sounds like she is inviting me to ask "why" (an IOI?) but i dont think i should directly ask? I was thinking something playful followed by "Tell me 3 interesting things about yourself that you dont tell people on your profile"... have you got any suggestions for me?

Good questions man!

1.) If a girls stops messaging me I typically don't send her anything for a day or two. Just simply because sometimes life happens and they have stuff to do. They could have legitimately forgot, so yes I will send her a message afterwards.

I just wait a few days of no response and then I'll send her something like nothing happened. Typically some kind of thing like, "Oh my god, you'll never guess what happened to me today....."

2.) You're right she's trying to set up her own frame here saying that comment back to you. You definately have a live one there! I like the tell me 3 interesting things. Another good variation of this is "What are 3 reasons why someone would want to get to know you better?"

You are certainly in the right frame of mind with the way you are thinking. You're recognizing the IOIs and the shit tests that she's throwing out. The instincts that you have with recognizing these things are good, just go with them man.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

lol... yeah I do think im pretty decent at picking out IOIs and shit tests... just need to work on dealing with them, last few havent gone so well, but im learning heaps because of it!

Thanks for the advice mate!

Also, just with question 1... if i used the "Oh my god, you'll never guess what happened to me today....." suggestion... would it be a good idea to go into a DHV story? Because I think I have a great one from the other day where a girl next to me in a queue fainted and I jumped to her rescue with first aid.

Bare in mind when I say early in the game... im talking VERY early, like 2 or 3 messages in. Im partway through reading Mystery Method... so I think im getting a little better with my responses

You're exactly right, you go into a DHV story. The story you gave as an example sounds good and interesting.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Holy crap!

Got a response back from that girl within like 10mins... she is keen... but shit is she testing me! This is what I got back! I went with a 3 reasons style question...

"I'll give you one coz I don't have to prove to anyone how awesome I am."

And then she didnt even include that one that she talks about!!! Everything Im throwing at her she is trying to reframe... and I can tell you, its increasing my attraction to her... so if i can do the same... hmmm...

Ok... im thinking seeing as how she threw cocky my way... i need to throw something cocky back too... "Well then we will just have to agree that we are both awesome, and you will have to tell me that one reason! "

That's sexy that she is spunky and confident like that. I love it when they start bantering. Dude don't back down and try to create a compromise that easy. I'd back like, "and the reason is...." Hold your frame from a bit longer before you go to trying to compromise.

I might even throw in something like..."You know why you and I will never get along? You wouldn't take my shit. I wouldn't take your shit. What's the fun in that?!?" I love false disqualifiers to build attraction. This way you don't have to break frame.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

So saying "and that reason would be...." would be considered breaking frame?
Thats a nice false disqualifier there... although I may keep it up my sleeve if she throws back another fiesty comment back

lol... she is loving this I bet. You can tell just how many AFC approaches she gets by looking at her profile in her about me
"If you send me messages saying "you're sexy" or "I'd love to take you out" or anything along those lines I won't reply to you, don't send me that shit!"
and her subtitle says "fuck off creep!"
I rekon she is loving having a non-afc banter.

Thanks J Smooth... you have helped me greatly!

No that's okay this is what I mean by breaking frame.
You are becoming agreeable because it's like you can't win. That is what I meant by breaking frame.

Glad it helps man!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Dude! This girl is hooked like no other! She came into the bar I work at tonight... I went to serve her and she pretended she didnt know me so I played along for a bit and then when I put the drinks down said to her "that will be $13 Miss im so awesome that I dont need anyones approval"... She had a little giggle but she was really nervous... she wouldnt talk... but I caught her checking me out a few times... I played it cool and pretended I wasnt really interested.

So Ive just sent her a message busting on her "Awe... how cute... Miss 'Im so awesome' came in for a closer look tonight! "

Do you think I played it right?

Yeah, it sounds like you played it right. I am lay off her a little bit now that you've established some domincance. She hasn't been sending you a bunch of quick witty comebacks so I'd ease up just a bit.

Anyways man good job!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

frm D_Haile03

yeh man your right. I was just using her as a practice. and secondly she is from same country as me and she seems kinda hooked to me and I thought I sud jus keep her wanting more. it's actualy gotten better since I posted in the question but its more of a practice rather than lookin for anything alse.

thanks for the help though. and Just one more question how did I fuck up in the second senario. I think it was too cocky and not enough rapport.

Well, if you go back to page 19 I answered this question. You are mostly right with you saying you didn't build enough rapport. Then you should have cut the opener conversational thread sooner and switched topics. Here is an exerpt from what I said.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

hi, so i'm trying to figure out the game using social me on facebook, it's kind of an interesting place as it's closer to IM in functionality. I tend to mix up openers to see what kind of response I get. Sometimes what seemed like a good idea initially later Im thinking 'lol what the hell was i thinking'

so i kind of fked this one up
'Hey x you're kind of hot but beauty is common these days, what kind of personality do you have?'

but i got back
'its hard to tell at once .. if you're interested in knowing my personality you have to ask questions.'

I cant help thinking I've accidentally devalued myself here cos she seems kind of intelligent. so if i ask questions or do tell me 3 things Im like following her lead....but at the same time she could have just ignored my message. Im not really sure what angle to take on this one. thx

I see your point, however, if you ask her what 3 things would make you want to get to know her better. You haven't lost frame of any kind and if she replies then she is A.) Qualifying herself to you B.) Showing compliance by answering the questions.

In short just play it out, at least you got a response to work with.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

hey mate

ok so iv met this girl on a dating website, and to me she seems like the total ideal girl for me, she plays computer games etc etc, and we got talking and we had alot in common, now most girls i sarge online i can seem to turn the convo into sex talk, like

me: so what do you do for fun
her: im a bit of a wild child on the dance floor
me: hope ur not to wild, because i spank naughty gals
her: i like being spanked

any way thats just example of the kinda things i say to turn a msn/ what ever chat sexual

but i commoned on her hair saying u look good with blonde and purple hair, she goes

"Aww bless thanks"

now im thinking FUCK aww = ur a wussy boy

she hasnt really shown me and IOI's apart from so when is the last time u have been on a date etc

i told her an ideal date for me, is walking around the supermarket talking about what food we both like, then buying somthing we comforable with and cooking you a meal, and i said we will play mortal combat the loser can wash up ( ye guys im a killer geek :/ )

now she says before she goes to bed,
"good night it was nice meeting you!"

but cuz my mother walked in which really really annoyed me (she did bring me some fruit flan so thats ok)
i didnt have time ti replie and she went offline after waitin for me to replie

so any way i left an offline msg for her as follows

"it was great speaking to you to rach, i would really like to get to know your more, if you fancy it msg me back and goodnight."


if you could tell me how / if there is a hell in chance i can bring this around and be the Alapha Male, instead of this guy who "thinks im cute "

aka wussy boy

thanks for ur time

Manic.