*Long post alert*

I know it's a long post but I would appreciate anyone's advice or comments on this whether it be "cheer up" pats on the back, long winded criticisms of my game or bitch slaps for succumbing to oneitis... but here we go anyway

About 3 years ago I met this girl through some friends. I definitely thought she was cute as hell and really liked her style and stuff but was seeing someone at the time, plus she was only 15 at the time (I was 18 ) so I never tried anything. I met this girl at social gatherings quite a bit over about the next 6 months and talked a bit but then just kinda lost touch. We weren't really on "give me your phone number" terms cos I was kinda more like a big brother figure.

Fast forward about a year and a half. In this time I have thought about this girl quite a bit. You would call it oneitis but not a serious case. In this time I have also discovered David DeAngelo. No other PUA stuff and I had only come across his news letters but was becoming very interested and was using this stuff all the time. I was still pretty crap with women but I was getting much better with this stuff.

So I'm out one night and run into this girl again with some friend I hadn't seen in ages. I talk to her briefly, run some C&F and get some good responses. A few days later I found her on MySpace, banter a bit and ask her out (like I said, I still wasn't the model PUA at this stage). She agrees but instead of giving me a phone number she just gives me her IM address. I invite her to come see me at a few gigs (I play in bands) but she doesn't turn up... she said it was cos she was still 17 at the time and couldn't get in.

Anyway... in recent months I've gotten into other pua stuff (mystery, style... anyone and everyone really). But by the time I learned the importance of escalation I've already been having IM connversations with her for over a year. I'm long since in the LJBF zone. But there were plenty of times that she gave what I thought were subtle hints that she was someway interested. I still ran pretty decent attraction building stuff but I suppose after a year of no escalation that means very little. We've become really really good IM friends now and when we meet each other out we're great friends too (yes I'm aware that's a bad thing from a pick up point of view). Problem is I've developed a serious case of oneitis for her at this stage.

So last Saturday night I met her in a club, she's 18 now so she goes all the time. She was with her friends, I was with mine. As soon as she saw me she ran over, hugged me and danced with me a bit. I went back to my friends and we ran into each other again later. We talked a bit and by the end of the night she was literally following me around. When the night ended we shared a taxi home. Here's where everything went wrong for me. The taxi driver dropped us at her house (she still lives there with her parents but her house is about 2 minutes walk from mine, plus in my drunken state I had decided I was gonna make a move). She ran inside to get her half of the money then we paid the taxi driver and he left. When we were talking I made my move. I kissed her and she kissed back but only for a few seconds. Then she ran inside cos she said her parents would be coming down the stairs but she said to text her.

Two days later (today) I went onto my IM and she was online so msgd her saying something along the lines of "how was the head on sunday morning" (hangover-wise). We got into conversation and I tried to steer it towards what had happened a few times but she kinda ignored it, acted like she didn't remember anything happen.

It was eating at me all day so later on I went online and was talking to her again. I said I'd just have to bring it up directly and asked her if she was a bit pissed at me over what happen. She replied no, that she just thought it was a drunken mistake? [question mark was hers]. I said it wasn't a mistake but just kind of in passing. We continued with the conversation and I asked was it a mistake from her point of view. She said yes... she was just kind of shocked. That she'd see me as more of a friend. I just kinda fobbed it off and said something like "sorry... when I'm drunk I kinda blur the distinction between friends and whatever else" (not my exact words but...). We continued the convo and everything was cool but we are... at least now I know... just friends, never to be anything else.

And yes I still have serious oneitis for her!

Sitting and talking with a girl about whether or not you're into one another is REALLY un-sexy, and ruins the chemistry.

Don't talk about it, don't analyze it (especially with her, on the phone). Just pretend like it wasn't a big deal, and get yourself into a good situation (alone, romantic setting if possibke) and make a move for REAL.

Then, and only then, will you know if she's into you.

_________________
Tenmagnet - Lovesystems Instructor
www.lovesystems.com
www.tenmagnet.com

Short answer: You have gone too far, it's time to give up on this girl.

The best way to get over this oneitus is to just stop talking to her. Talking to her all the time is just fueling your oneitus and building false hope that if you wait long enough she will want you. That's not true(most of the time) it's time for you to move on. If you still value the friendship then you can come back and talk to her later once you are 'cured' of your oneitus.

If you stop talking to her, you will be forced to go for other girls this is what you need to do!! Not only will this help you get over the oneitus but if you do honestly have a chance with this girl then being with other girls will really help you come off as less needy and your confidence will improve.

As for her reaction to the kiss, this is EXACTLY what you should have expected. If you get into the LJBF state then girls will be shocked if you try to advance on them. Avoid LJBF at all costs, there is virtually no turning back.

To help you avoid that state in the future. DON'T RELY ON IM! I pretty much stay away from IMing girls whenever possible. For one thing, its virtually emotionless conversation. It's hard to attract girls or realy accomplish ANYTHING through this type of conversation. I dont care how deep or whatever any of your convos have been, IM is worthless for PUA.

If you cant get a girl to hang out with you, then use the phone! There are good times for texts too but you should try to leverage it into a hangout session in my opinion.

just move on, there's probably nothing you can do, else, there's little on why you should keep doing.

just forget her, if theres ever going to be another chance, she's gonna make the move...
my opnion

What I would do is freeze her out of your life for at least a month and start seeing some other women. It'll get you over your oneitis and make you less needy. Then if you still really have feelings for her you should try to get her into romantic situations. Don't make any moves too quick, as this will need to be a very slow seduction.

Have you ever read "The Art of Seduction"? You probably know her well enough by now to see what type of 'victim' she is so you can fine tune your seduction to target what works for her.

_________________
Do the Impossible
See the Invisible
Raw! Raw!
Fight the Power!

Touch the Untouchable
Break the Unbreakable
Raw! Raw!
Fight the Power!

A chronicle of my reformation from AFC to PUA: http://simpua.livejournal.com/

Hey guys, thanks a million for the suggestions Think I'm gonna go with what Simpua said... never read the art of seduction but I'll get my hands on a copy, thanks again