so one of my mutual friends is pretty sexy. And this evening she gave me a lay up to chill with her one on one. We were talking about good italian resturants and i told her one i knew and she kept making comments on how i should find out the name of this one because shes wanted to go. I translate that into an IOI, almost baiting me to ask her. I don't take the lay up though, it could be akward since her and i have never chilled before and i could be reading her wrong. I was thinking of using something inclusive like " the place is ____ we should make plans to go sometime" not to advancing but good chance to DHV ...and get some good food. So like i said i didnt take the lay up because i wanna slam dunk it. Hit me up with any other ways to ask her...

If she's a friend, then she's just asking you as a friend.

It don't seem to me that she shot you an IOI like you think.

Maybe she wants to know the name of the place so she can have some other guy take her there for her b-day or she's planning on taking another guy to it for his b-day or whatever.

If you want to bed this girl, then why don't you just "tell" her to get dressed up and then just "take" her to this place.

Always lead... be a man... be an alpha male....

thats the thing we're not friends, just know each other. Shes a a friend of my best friends girlfriend, so from time to time we see each other. Just more recently i've been seeing her out more recently and i think i have an opportunity.

the reason i suggested "we'll make plans to go" because its direct its not suggestive and its inclusive... like putting the we as in me and her in her head. I read somewhere being inclusive with a girl is good to do. Maybe i could ad something like just as a friend...

and what u said is what i'm trying to do and what i was planning on doing. I just was putting emphasis on how to go about it. How i phrase the invitation and the attitude i place will dictate where it leads to

This is sounding pretty AFC here. When you start talking inside your head, or justifying reasons not to do something, you're just falling back on bad habits.

I think LEPRECHAUN gave good advice: be a man. Just act like you have control and that she's already said "yes" to dinner... you just have to tell her she's going. Tell her to dress nice and you're taking her to dinner.

You're just playing head games with yourself. If you don't have confidence to ask the first time, what makes you think you won't talk yourself out of it in the future?

Its hard to tell if it's an IOI or not. It really depends on how she said it. Was it suggestive? I think that you should take her out to this place but keep her under your control and then see how many IOI's you get. If she starts giving you some, then I think its a safe bet to start gaming her. But Quarterback and LEPRECHAUN gave good advice. Just go for it and stop wondering what might happen if you screw up! Become a player of the Game, not an AFC! Good luck man

i was just trying to slow down my game. Its easy to be direct and alpha male-ish when its a complete stranger, but this is someone who could see me as being out of character which was why i slowed down the approach. What happened was we were talking about it, i had mentioned i havn't been in awhile and she said she would like to go.

By going about this approach i'm trying to avoid standard AFC behavior. I'm not refereing to how i go about asking more over the entire workings. Just out of blue asking someone i know essentially on a date may be too direct. and well typical. Which is why i want to use the inclusion, make her think it was her idea kinda thing. I forget where i read, maybe in mysterys book or on one of his websites that phrasing things with we is key.

but maybe your all right and i'm just going about this all wrong...let me know what you think

acutally this is probably the wrong place for this post this would probally more apropriate for building attraction... I said it my self I know her already I'm not opening her... taking her out isn't the open its the building attraction.