Ok guys I'm going to try and make a long story short. I dated a girl last summer who was beautiful HB 8.5. I was super AFC and insecure when we dated. I moved away and she broke up with me over a text. She started dating a guy then started texted me that she broke up with this guy and said that she missed me. I was still AFC and I drove 3 hours to see her we spent some time together and when I left she texted me that she though she had feelings for me but know she doesn't. Me being the AFC that I was took it hard and blew up on her and called her all these things and basically burned any bridges I had.... or atleast I thought.
The guy she dumped didn't take her back then she started dating a dude for 1 month fuckin month and he asks her to marry her on Christmas! So now she is engaged but not getting married until 2010. Over this period of time we had texted and made amends.
Now I'm back in the city I met her and graduated from college. Since I moved back her she has started texted me alot. I've been playing real cool and not showing much interest, especially after the last situation.
after about of month of texted she say's she is going to be in my area so I told well if you going to be around you should stop by and chill. She comes over and my out of town buddy is there at the time so I couldn't do much with her, but we took a walk and I put my arm around her and said it was nice to see her. minutes later she grabbed my hand and we walked together holding hands. Her body langauge was all over me, when she left I didn't go for the kiss even the I know she was wanting it.
First thing the next morning she is texted me how good it was to see me. So for the rest of the week she was texted me saying she might be in town, so everytime I said well give me a text and we'll hang. Everyday she flaked out. Then she called late one night saying how she can't think of a lie to tell her man and thats why she hasn't been able to see me.
I know your thinking this is oneitis but I'm fucking other girls on the side right know. I think we both have feelings for each other and I would like to spend time with her, I know she rushed into her current relationship and she is not happy,

Where should I go from here?

Good story read it twice anyways as you can see the girl isnt attracted to the other guy anymore what this means is you can move in to steal her away I mean its either continue with what you doing now or Keep seeing this girl and consider her your wifey The guy rushed in there way to fast 1 month is like the honeymoon period for couples and I guess they dont no each other as much as you and the girl knows each other. This is just my advice take it if you choose or reject it but hope it helps. Gracias

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KISS- "Keep It Simple Stupid"

the answer you want is very obvious.

anyways, before you let your emotions grip your balls, look at what she is doing. she's engaged, acts like she isn't happy, and she's tooling you.
she also got engaged after a month of dating, and always falls back on you. is this really a girl you want to pursue?

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

I think you are getting a green light here guess. She won't become a one-itis (that is, you won't smother her like any AFC) if you don't let her. Good luck, this looks like it could be a good LTR.

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

Ok well while things were really heating up nicely last week with her texting me everyday, the action has died down I think maybe I wss trying to guide her to much with suggesting for her to come by my place.

So now I've stopped texting, more then likely she will text me in a few days. I need some boyfriend destroyers and some advice on getting her away from her man.

This girl had burned me bad in the past and there is no way I will come to see her, I was even thinking about suprising her at her school where she is a cosmetology student. She had wanted me to come in one day to cut my hair, so I was thinking of randomely stopping buy to get my hair cut and surprise her then I thought nah no matter what she has to come to me! However I will need to guide her. She has came over once and my buddy was there so I couldn't really make any moves.

My approach recently has been the cool breezy guy who is always having a good time, so boyfriend destroyers or "guys that asks girls to marry them after one month of dating" destroyers would be appreciated.

Just forget about her. She's using you.

Maybe so chief, however she has already came over to my house, so to me I think she is open for sex if anything. So in what way would you say she is using me?

I'm seeing other girls at the moment so it's not like I'm stuck on this one chick.

I see your in New Orleans, that's awesome I was born there.

I don't think she really gives a crap about YOU. I'm saying she's using you because it sounds like she's just using you to get those good feelings from attention, being desired, affection. She has a fiance, and it sounds like you're her toy.

Well, I guess that's OK sometimes, though
...only if you're just both mutually "using" each other... but it sounds like you may be a little more invested than you should be.

I agree with Chief, sounds like she wants to hit it once before she goes in for the long haul buddy boy...

If you wanna get your rocks off one more time I'd say why not...but I think you need to come to grips with the fact that she just wants sex from you bro.

Ok guys this whole situation has taken a huge turn. After all the flaking out and bullshitting I have kept my composure and played the non-nonchalant, cool breezy guy. It worked and she comes over for a few hours and we make out and fool around the whole time. While she is over she is telling me how she doesn't think her and her fiance are going to work out and how she is unhappy and misses me.
At no time have I ever said one word about her fiance. So that night she calls a few times and texts me how she misses me I don't respond. The next day she calls and leaves a message asking If I want to hang out later. I call her and she tells me how she broke up with her fiance and moved back in her moms house. That night she came over, spent the night we had a great night with lots of sex, her man left and moved back to Indiana. She thought he was going to take care of alot of bills but he ended up fucking her over and sticking her with money owed for their place. She was shocked, but if I was him I would of done the same thing.
So now she has been calling me every day but their no effort to try hang out. Even when I say I'll call her later, she calls before I call her back
She is starting to act flakey again and I keep playing the care free cool guy. Do I need to take a new approach with her do I need to show her that I really have feelings for her. Do I need to be an ass to her. Really confused now.

Come on guys, somebody has got to have some advice for me???

I was in a similar situation to you at one point, I mean that as in I was an afc in a relationship and then basically discovered this new community of people. I began to apply what I was learning to the relationship I was currently in and some stuff worked, but most caused arguments because of my new standards and she was used to my old ones and what behaviour I accepted off her.

Now the reason im mentioning this is that in your situation, like mine, this girl knew you when you were an afc and when you behaved like an afc towards her. Therefore, your new behaviour towards her will work because it is how a man of a high standard behaves towards a woman, but she will always have in the back of her mind how you used to be when you were an afc. The fact that you played hard to get with your lack of neediness is a good thing, however it set you up as a challenge, and as a challenge she wanted to overcome/win you again, which she did when you made out and slept with her.

Now being breezy and non-chalant is a good thing but it was how you were behaving before she won you and by the sounds of it, im presuming that she is thinking 'ive won this guy over even when he’s being hard-to-get, and he’s maintaining that behaviour, therefore I can win him over again when I want on a time of my choosing along as I stay in contact with him' (again, this is me just guessing at her sub-conscious/conscious process).

Now if im correct in thinking this, you’ve got to go almost freeze out on her, im not meaning totally ignore her, but as close as possible. Let her ring you as much as she likes, but don’t always return her calls... I mean, you’re a busy high status guy with plenty of options and plenty of interesting things going on, this one girl isn’t your soul option or source of validation so you have no need or time to call her back. Also on the idea of direction, if she says she is in the area, tell her you’d invite her over...but you’ve got something on, don’t tell her this all the time, but once in a while to prove that you wont jump at every opportunity to see her.

These are a few ideas to try, just make sure she knows that she isn’t your main priority...

and on totally ignoring her, you can always spark things back up again at sum point in the future by simply texting her with an open loop of some sort, ive mentioned this in another post but they wont let me post the link, its not too hard to find if you want to have a look.

Hope at least some of this mammoth essay helps!

slick

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its not the age of the man that matters, but the wisdom within

personally I wouldn't want to get involved with a girl who got engaged to a guy after seeing him for just one month

It shows a distinct mental imparement in my opinion (unless the guy is minted, tripping over his dick or has an 8 inch tongue and can breath through his ears)

sure bone her if you get the chance but I've had my fair share of chicks with issues in the past so IMO the engagment after a month is a big indicator of trouble below the surface.

I was in a similar situation a few years back, I was hooking up with a very sexy but unhappily married chick and became emotional crutch boy/happy distraction/4am texting buddy/fantasy escape, yet I didn't fuck her as I was major AFC at the time (oh boy if we hooked up now she'd be like lol) and eventually she left her hubby and totally side stepped me went off and found a boyfriend or two/three over the next year and we don't even talk anymore so lesson learned... don't be a chump, don't let her problems become yours, get her boned pronto or get out now or you'll be wishing you did later I suspect

abort.. abort.. abort

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if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got.

Dude, sounds like a head case to me. Not that there's anything wrong with that, necessarily. If you want to nail her, it sounds like you're almost there already. Just show up on your terms, and be ready for at least some token LMR.

The more important questions you need to be asking yourself are:

What are my feelings for her? If you're just looking to set up a sexual funride, then you already know what to do. I get the impression that it's a lot more personal than that, though. The part of you that wanted to drive three hours just to see her hasn't disappeared.

Do I like drama? If you'd like to avoid any major emotional explosions, then avoid this chick like the plague. She got engaged after a month, then started hanging off of her ex. Her life is a soap opera, and you guys are both just guest stars. If you're in the right mindset (detatched, bemused), this can actually be a Hell of a lot of fun. Just don't be surprised at the inevitable explosion.