Imagine you are on a pub or a disco and u notice that a girl is looking to you a lot. What's the best approach on this situation, the best opener and continuation of conversation?

And don't come with the "hey, i noticed you were looking at me" cause that makes you go so deep 90% of the times...

It doesn't matter what you say. I emphasise this so much, and for good reason... you don't need a special line to open her up. You don't need to say something original to catch her attention. If she's checking you out from across the room she wants you to approach her, plain and simple. One thing I should note though, I do mostly day game nowadays and the rules are a bit different for clubs. Girls don't get approached during the daytime, and if they do it's by a guy who left the comfort of his group to talk to her while his friends all shout and act like idiots - however, in clubs, they do get approached by a lot of guys because the alcohol gives them courage. The problem with this is, their approaches are very insincere. They look desperate, unsure of themselves, and put the woman higher than themselves as if she is something to be worked for (rather than the other way around). Sometimes, guys are up front about what they want, and this is good, but for the most part they do so in a very immature way and the woman is turned off bigtime by this. So, first of all, I'll tell you what not to do - basically, don't do what every other guy does.

1. Don't ask if she's having a good night. This is a standard line guys use to initiate conversation and women are fucking tired of it. I know I said your opener doesn't have to be original, but every other guy who has approached her in bars has asked her the very same thing and you don't want her to shunt you into that category as soon as you open your mouth.

2. Don't buy her or her friends anything if she asks. I still see guys buying girls drinks when I go out, and it's actually quite funny to watch. What you're saying to her is, "Hey, let me stay and talk to you for the collective value of a round of drinks, I have nothing else to offer you and I hope that this will be enough for you to see past that". If you want her to see value in you, don't jump through hoops until she jumps through yours first. Women ask men to buy them drinks as a test, because it's a win-win situation - she either gets a free drink off some loser or she gets a man she can actually respect enough to go home with.

3. Don't interview her. It is common for men to ask women a ton of questions because it's an easy way to keep the conversation going, and you will find something in common... eventually. The problem with this is, it's BORING and GENERIC. She is out to have a fun night and here is some guy asking her a bunch of questions in a lame attempt to find common ground instead of just having fun. She won't stay around for long unless she is really hot for you.

And now, some ground rules for what you should be doing.

1. Eye contact. Don't be afraid to look her in the eyes and hold your gaze. She'll look away after a few seconds anyway. It's a dominance thing; if you look away first, she will have power over you. Make sure to be smiling when she looks back again so you don't creep her out. And yes, she will look back at you after a few seconds. So, smile after she looks away and hold your gaze until she looks back at you. She'll smile back, and you're set up to approach. You don't need these little approach invitations to be honest, you can approach randomly but when you have these little cues from her beforehand you'll find things a lot easier. Also, hold relaxed eye contact with her as you speak.

2. Kino. It's a relaxed environment and you can touch each other a lot. This is hard to explain in text, so you'll just have to experiment and watch the way other people touch while talking.

3. Stay relaxed. Lean back against something, make yourself at home and be as comfortable as you can make yourself with what's available. Anyone else watching your interaction will assume that she has approached you, and your value will go up as a result. Also, this will stop you from leaning in to hear her better - if you do this a lot, it looks like you value the interaction too much and is a poor character trait. If you can't hear her, tell her she needs to speak up - she will come closer and stand on her toes to talk in your ear. Again, your value will go through the roof and any other girls you talk to will automatically be interested from seeing this. There are some exceptions, and it's fine to lean in once in a while if you have to - make sure to touch her while you do so. Putting your hand on the outside of her arm, or on her waist is fine.

So, the only thing I haven't covered yet is what to talk about. This is up to you, and there are plenty of routines on the forum if you look around. I don't waste any time when it comes to club game and you may not be comfortable doing what I do, so I'm recommending that you read up on some routines and stuff just to get you talking to her. I'm sure you're curious though, so I'll go into what I do a little bit. All I do is approach the girl I like with a smile, tell her she's sexy as hell, get her to give me a twirl, then a hug and kiss on the cheek. It's fun, and they get a kick out of it... they don't always jump through these little hoops though, and that's fine - I just tell them they're no fun and tease them. I bet them their friends would give me a twirl or whatever, and things usually go pretty well from there. I've gotten ice queens, of course, and they blew me out. It's no biggie... you can't expect everyone to be nice! It's definately not my loss if she's like that anyway. Some of said ice queens came up to me later in the night after I had more social proof, some I never saw again. Anyway, I digress. Once they jump through those little hoops I just get straight to the point. And that, I'm afraid, is a closely guarded secret. I worked for a long time on the perfect way to extract girls to different venues or back to her place, and whereas I don't do club game much anymore, it's important for you to figure out what works for YOU. I don't want a bunch of clones running around.

Dalziel is awesome.

The only thing I would add to this is your body positioning on approach is very important. Turn your feet away from her and don't stand head on as it's subconciously confrontational and it will cause you problems.

Everything else from above is perfect.

Today i failed, today i learned (even if little).


Some questions:

1-Imagine those streets full of people at night having a drink, those streets full of bars where everyone is drinking and talking on the street. What u told me still holds? The don't look away, and the smile after she looks, still works?

2-If a girl look at you, can u give me an idea of the seconds that her look must take for this to be kind a IOI (if there are IOI's before the attract and closing up, thing i also don't know).

3-About the way she looks at you, if these looks aren't those many, what is the look that she gives must be alike? From all the kind of looks i received today, i don't know wich ones were a "approach me, i want it" and those that were not.

4- Today me and a friend went sit up on a nice coffe with a outside spot, at evening, and near by were sited 2 girls, one of them looking a lot and the other looking A LOT and smiling back to me A LOT (HB's 5 and 6, i know they are low hb's, but i need to start small to grow big i think). They were like "PLEASE APPROACH ME", and even being a noob on the PU, i just knew it, but... I didn't have the freaking guts... I fell like i am with tons of Approach Anxiety... any tips on this? already read about the 3 second rule etc, but it's hard to apply it on here... tips please... I wana take max 2 weeks to kill this approach anxiety. help!


PS: THANKS A LOT for your answer.

when I approach girls I dont really care what happens sounds stupd but guess what its an attitude I DONT CARE type of attitude every guy should have this attitude when it comes to dating if every guy did there would be no such thing as approach anxiety but in order to approach women anywhere anytime anyplace is to never Expect anything remember You cant predict the future neither can I I cant predict that everytime I miss an opertunitie that if I had done it That would have been my girlfriend or something even better same goes for you so Dont expect anything from women Dont expect anyhing from the situation and you will be able to get women. I cant stress how the I DONT CARE attutude is Its very important It was my missing peice when I started dating and Also it makes you seem less needy and insecure if you care less what girl rejects you right so go out there and go do your best. Gracias

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KISS- "Keep It Simple Stupid"

Yes, it applies to any situation... day or night. If a woman is attracted to you, she will give you approach invitations. When she looks bck at you a second time and returns the smile, look at her eyes and how she's smiling. You can tell if it's sincere and happy... it's obvious if she's only being polite because you're smiling at her. Believe me, you'll know if she likes you or not.
Again, you don't need to rely on approach invitations, or any IOIs whatsoever. I have gotten many good results from cold approaches. Trust me, you will know if she likes you... you'll just get the feeling that she wants to meet you, because your brain will have decoded all this shit for you. You don't need to think about it consciously. You know what mood someone is in when you look at them, you can tell if they're being insincere when they smile, and of course you can tell if she is signalling that she likes you. The more you think about it, the more you cloud your mind with reasons not to approach and find out for certain.
Like I said above, you will get a gut feeling and you should follow it. If you genuinely don't feel like you can read her eyes and face, stop relying so heavily on approach invitations. Why do you need her approval to approach her in the first place anyway? Just do it and have fun. It's no big deal.
The reason the 3 second rule exists is to get your ass over there before you start analysing things too much (like what happened to you tonight). If you walk over there within those 3 seonds and say hi, your brain will go into autopilot and everything you've learned will come out. Sure, your first few approaches will be a little jerky and unnatural because your confidence isn't really all that just yet and you're not used to it, but you gotta learn somehow. You're never gonna see any of these girls again anyway and pretty soon you'll start getting positive reactions from girls - your confidence will become more natural, which in turn will make your approach more relaxed and natural, which in turn will make you fucking good. Think about how silly this is, you didn't approach anyone earlier, and now you're sitting at home, all this time later, wondering whether you should have done it or not. I don't wanna be mean here but what good is that doing you? March over and fucking find out. You will never walk away from any interaction empty handed unless you fail to make it into a real interaction. Observe:

1. You get her number, albeit a little awkwardly - you learn how to adjust your presentation for future reference.

2. You have a bit of conversation but don't go for the number - you will look back at it and realise that you could have gotten it casually before moving on. So, you have a plan in mind for next time.

3. You go for a number but encounter shit tests, and it throws you off a little - you can learn how to deal with them better for next time and be more persistent.

4. Worst case scenario, you get blown out rudely. But, you'll realise that it doesn't fucking matter because they're not worth your time if they're gonna be like that. There are plenty more people to talk to, you'll never see them again, and it's not your problem anyway.

How's that? Now you have no excuse not to approach; you will learn something new from every approach you make and you will learn so much faster if you apply yourself - 10 approaches will teach you more about dealing with people than going home and re-reading the same old material in the hopes you'll do better next time.

Taking usage of this thread..
When a HB is looking at you from a certain distance, how should you walk to her?
Should you go straight to her or take the long way?
And when you're doing this should you look at her?

thanks in advanced

"Hey, I noticed you were looking at me"

I could pull it off lol

I'm still at unclear on what you first say to her.

Okay so don't ask how her night is. But Can you just say 'hey, hows it going?' or 'hi im ......'

Then really try and pick up on something like a situational comment, or a opinion question?

if its a set, and u got nothing to lose what might help u is a tric i found really worked agaisnt AA.
Ok, this might sound strange but remember, u have AA because of social programmming. It affects what u think will happen, thinking she is outta ur league and also WHAT YOU SHOULD DO AND SAY.
Now the people on this forum and the art of PU is changing what u believe will happen and basically altering what sociaty has made u think will happen.

Now, to help u stop feeling akward when u first approch dont be you. I dont know what ur real name is, but ur walt. A PUA. U are just acting his role.
Now walt wont worry about what to say. Nor do u have to worry about what you say, u can say anything you want to and IT WILL BE SUCESSFUL. So, for now open with this "hi, i dont regualarly place bets but i think together this will be a lot of fun. I will give u 3 guesses to work out my name. If you get it right, i'll (do something like buy the first drink, etc etc). Get it wrong, and u have to buy me a (whatever u were gonna do for her)."
U would never say that would you? but walt can pull that off
Now thats just an example, you can say anything, maybe you dont like that idea. Its not a very good opener, i just wanted to think of something outragous that an AFC wouldnt say, because it is not how they have observed people to act around women .

/madals

Maybe i wasn't clear enough.
I meant, you make eye contact with a HB and now you want to approach her.
Do you walk straight on her direction making her think you're going to open her? (isn't that a bit threatening?)

first of all, great motto.

second of all, approach anxiety is also a GREAT sticking point of mine, the only way out in my opinion (once physical awkardness is handled) is to mentally realize there's nothing wrong in approaching a girl, specially in a night club, even if you fail (again, great motto). that's why they go there they want to be approached we want to approach them it's the way nature and God did us. perfectly normal. I said all this, and still don't fully internalize it, as I said AA is a big problem for me.

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Current Level: [PUA]

--POSSUNT QUIA POSSE VIDENTUR--
They can because they think they can

I forgot...

long ago I read this book, kind of like the mystery method but a completely diferent style. somewhere in this book I read this line, so perfect and simple it should be embed in all PUA's mind for their lives:


"as a matter of fact, approaching straight, with sincerity, security and a good mood is the fundation stone of your game"

_________________
Current Level: [PUA]

--POSSUNT QUIA POSSE VIDENTUR--
They can because they think they can