Riddle me this, riddle me that..

Why are all 'puas' so afraid of liking a girl MORE than as an object? I keep hearing guys say 'I met this girl and I think I really like her, and it's scaring me'.

Do you know where the hell this fear has derived from?

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- Difference

Thanks zip (yes I know what vibing is)

Alright, so my parents got divorced in 2000? I think somewhere around there. Anyway, my dad's remarried but my mom is not. She's been on a few dates here and there but that's about it. Nothing big. I was wondering if you could give me some advice that I could give her to kind of help her out.

The problem is that she doesn't really get out. She never goes out to meet people so I guess I would have to encourage her to do that.

Also, I bought The MANual by Steve Santagati. I want to give it to her, but I don't really want to offend her or get her upset. Do you have any ideas abotu how I could bring up the subject in a non-chalant way? And do you have any other reccomendations of books she could read?

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Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

Hi Zip,

Lately I've been trying to work on reading body language more so I'm hopeful you will be able to give me some insight. I'll try to keep this as concise as possible.

There's a girl I like a little and would at least like to secure a date. Thing is I think a friend of hers may be interested in me but I can't confirm it. We hang out as a group on occasion (1 every couple months). Every time I'm able to make her laugh and we usually greet each other with a hug.

Since meeting as year or so ago, we have exchanged messages and IMed a little. I usually have kept it light as I never planned on trying to date her. We went out the other night and I get the vibe that she may be interested but is keeping her feelings/actions/IOIs guarded towards me as her friend who I think likes me was also present.

-Why do you think she acts like this?
-Every time we hang out the other friend is there so how can I find out if there is something?
-What kind of signs should I look for or try t6 elicit through IOIs?

Thanks a ton in advance!

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:18 pm Post subject:

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ThatTallKid wrote:
Hey there

Saw this thread and was very interested. And learnt so lot form your answers Zip so thanks J
So much interesting stuff there. I have quite a few questions that I will send (sorry it will be long!!) and any help on any of the points would be amazing thanks so can hopefully try it all. Thanks

1
Learnt a lot from this site so far, but had a new situation today and didn't know what to do. It happened twice in 10 minutes, just walking down the street with a mate when we saw these nice girls (both on their own) we didn't have much time to start and use an opener but I wanted to. It was hard to make eye contact and share a smile (I guess this is the bitch shield :S) Just wondering, how to look at them, and share a smile so you know to start a conversation etc. Or even if just passing and having no intention of opening, how to get a smile rather than looking like any desperate creep.

2
I'm just wondering, how do you set yourself apart when chatting on-line places such as 'bebo' or 'myspace'? I am using these sites at the moment to get msn addresses so I can practise techniques so they will be more natural in a live environment. It seems that everything (the judging whether to accept an add) is done on looks (which is fine for me as I am not that bad) I am just wondering how to make a more interesting start rather than just saying 'hey, how are you.' etc like everyone does! Or just complimenting her looks like most AFC’s would do! What I'm basically asking is for a few conversation starters that make you different and more interesting. I was just thinking that asking their opinion on a random issue 'whether your mate should ditch his girlfriend for cheating' would probably freak them out a bit! Also, have you any ideas how to make your profile more exciting, so that girls literally come to you and want to add you rather than the other way around?

3
I’m a 18 year-old lad from England + I generally act well, busting on girls, taking two steps forward and one back with some people. These people I am probably more comfortable with. This works well and I am close with a lot of them. However new people such as people I see occasionally at college, gym etc. sees me, as perhaps quiet and my real person can’t get out. It seems fake to start conversations and I don’t know what to say to get things started like I so naturally do at other times. At other times, I am not very ‘alpha male’ I say things and sometimes it gets ignored, so wanted to know how to speak so it is always heard and in a way respected. Lastly, in terms of favours and not licking a woman’s bum! How much is allowed? There are many people, within college, that if a cute girl asks them for help with an coursework etc. they will drop their last minute deadline to help out this girl. I know this is not how to be! How can I be dominant in this situation, or is being nice ok?!

4
Even after reading quite a few dating books...(Mystery, DDA, Speed Seduction, Dating Wizard, Pick Up 101) I still do not know how to start! Well I kind of do, but not carry on for how it feels right for me. I'll give you 1 quick example. At the gym today, a 9 (friend of a gym friend) came near me and recognised me. She said hey, I said hey back and we smiled... THAT WAS IT! I don’t know how to carry on this, asking how are you etc. to me seems boring etc. It's just so different with a nice girl (even though I'm not actually nervous) I just feel like I need something to say and the opinion things etc. I can’t seem to use! Another similar question about my changing personality. In certain situations everything changes, when out at a party etc. sometimes I act all nervous as if perhaps people are watching etc. If I’m having a conversation with a mate and they turn to talk to someone else for a second I freeze, often pretending to text someone or be on the phone for a bit just because I feel uncomfortable not doing something. All this is very jumbled, so sorry!



Thanks so much in advance! Andy



MMM good stuff here. I'm going out with a client in a bit, so I'll get to this as soon as I finish my work in NY and on PUALife.com. Be back as soon as I can.




When you get the time amongst your various projects, could you have a look at a few of these points please

And thanks again for these posts, I been reading back pages, and learnt a lot to be honest.

I'm locking this until I can get some real time to fully answer the questions here... you guys deserve more than some half-assed, one sentence answers. Plus I want to go through the ENTIRE thing, do some clean-up, and make sure I didn't miss anything.

You guys are great. Keep hanging in there for me, there's been a lot going on lately Obviously my favorite part (THIS THREAD) has to take second-stage to other more pressing issues and developments... which sucks for me. I'd much rather be answering questions than writing code.

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- Zip

Because it means if you emotionally invest... and she hurts you... you turn AFC again. That's the deal about taking leaps of faith and engaging in this risky engagement that we call connecting to other high quality human beings...

What if the best possible version of ourselves isn't good enough?

That's where it comes from.

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- Zip

Gentlemen, we're back in action!

Going to rest now, but look back here in the afternoon tomorrow for some wicked-awesome catching up on all your unanswered questions. Feel free to start posting new ones as well, cause I'm back, bitches!

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- Zip

Welcome back! We all missed this wicked awesome thread while you were off honeymooning with Jude Law.

Alright, a few dancefloor questions that require a female perspective:

1) How much do women gauge a man's potential based on their moves on the dance floor? Specifically, we're talking about ballroom and partner dancing under social circumstances.

2) On a 100 point scoring system, how many points does a guy gain by having the courage to ask you to dance? How many points if he's actually decent? Wicked awesome? Un-freaking-believable? Bad?

3) What do you expect from a guy after he comes off the dance floor with you? Conversation? Alcohol? Makeout? A polite "Thank You" while he moves on to the next lady in line due to the shortage of leads?

I'll tell him you called him Jude Law. He'll get a kick out of that, although I've always thought of him as a darker, more attractive Adrien Brody mmmm.
If you're going to bust a move, we're going to look at it. And moves on the dance floor equate to us as ability in the sack. I'm sure the same goes for men, you see a woman who is tripping all over herself in a fox trot, you're going to think, "she's going to snap off my member."


No one asks people to dance anymore. You get wicked points if you ask and don't "apologize for it" when you ask her. If you get turned down, and move on to dance with some other chick, she's probably going to try to send you some IOI's across the room or gain some proximity so you ask her again.

Hell, if a guy asked me to dance, was actually good, I'd be either drooling over him or having the time of my life... maybe both, if you're un-freaking-believable.
Depends on the vibe. I'd like to still be entertained, perhaps be offered some water or something. If there was a really strong connection on the dance floor, I'd like to banter a bit and see him again.

I'm thinking about the "thank you" option. Maybe that's fun to consider. You take a girl around, you have a wicked time, you snip it while she's trying to hook you. Then she's going to be sending IOI's your way the rest of the evening, so you could reopen. HMMM. Play with that.

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- Zip

My biggest challenge has been working with a guy who has great OG but some missing link with his IG. I was wrong on my first analysis of what his problem was, and missed the IG issue. I, literally, hand to start over with him and break him down completely to rebuild the inner and outer frames.

Everything I tried I missed. I began to doubt my skills as a teacher. I began to doubt my commitment to helping others because it was getting SO hard.

Then, it became less about me and more about small steps with my client. Then, before we knew it, we were climbing the mountain and making progress. I think it's just a lesson for me to get over myself when I'm teaching, to think outside the box, never to become complacent in my skill-set, and to never give up.

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- Zip

Tricky tricky tricky. I mean, here's the thing... does she have IG issues? If so, what you need to do is take her out and have fun with her, open sets for her, get her some positive reinforcement so that she sees it CAN be done. If she doesn't, then it's more AA and confidence, maybe some OG.

There are plenty of books, the Date Decoder is one of my favorites because it's written by an expert in espionage. How to Succeed with Men is incredibly good, and of course, my favorite The Art of Seduction is always helpful.

Um, bringing up the subject in a non-chalant way. To your mom. Again, tricky. I mean, how close are you? If you're not that close, just get the books, bring them to her, and tell her you don't want them and leave them for her. Or you could do what I would do, and sit down, tell her you want her to be happy, have a real moment, and give her the books. Also offer to take her out on the town. Make it a special day/evening for her so she'll dress up, you'll dress up, and you open some sets for her without her knowing what you're doing.

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- Zip

Nah, there wasn't any irony. I was giving you a compliment.

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- Zip

Yeah, you hit the nail right on the head. If she seems like she's conflictingly keeping back her IOI's so that her friend doesn't pick up on it and scream at her. Girls have a girl code. Breaking it triggers all sorts of nasty female-competitive shit. It's not pretty.

Isolate that girl. Figure it out. Get her to help you with something. Show her something, walk her somewhere, whatever. You're in charge of making this happen because she can't. If she initiates it, her friend will call her on it and ruin it.

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- Zip

what do you do when your talking to a two or three set and the targets friend starts to pull down her state while you are gaming her or trying to pump buying temperature?

this happened last night and was a total distraction on all parts.....
how do you deal with an inimpressed friend? namely a girl at this point.....