| Hi guys,
I'm an aspiring Aussie PUA, got dumped about 1 month ago and am not keen for a relationship for a while, but want to get a secure network of attractive women who are willing to sleep with me. I generally don't have too much trouble finding girls, but always seem to fall into the relationship thing. Additionally I have trouble picking up in clubs, and wish to improve on this skill.
Anyway, here's a lay report for everyone's entertainment.
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Firstly, let me say that I've never met a person from the net for romantic reasons, just to meet other people to jam with (I play guitar).
Last Friday I get a friend request on Myspace. I haven't checked my myspace for months, but checked it anyway to avoid study exam. This girl's info seems to check out (ie. she is not a bot). I deny her friend request and send her a message asking "Do I know you?".
She replies, no, she's been in the ACT for only a couple of weeks, is bored and wants to meet new people. We send messages back and forth, which is entertaining, because, as I said, I was avoiding exam study.
She mentions that she'd recently broken up, I said the same, and added that as a result I'm not looking for a relationship, just sex. At this point I was just bored and was hoping for some awesome feminist backlash. However, she just got interested and sent me her mobile number.
Sms'd her a couple of times that night, they turned to sex messages pretty fast, and I said I'd come over to her place tommorow day to root her. She was keen and I had a boner.
I drove over to her place the next day - there was no way I wanted this person to know where I lived. Her pics on myspace just showed an average looking girl. Nothing special, however when I arrived I realised that those pics were old, and she was now an overweight, average girl.
To go with it her personality was shit, couldn't have a decent conversation bla bla bla. Guess people on the net don't act the same as they would in real life. After about 5 mins of idle chit chat, I just said, "lets go to your bedroom".
What happens next is the most unerotic sex I've ever had.
- She didn't know how to kiss. Definate turn off, also while making out and taking off eachothers clothes she just goes straight for the cock and jerking violently. I was afraid the foreskin would rip off. I tell her to slow down.
- Start fondling her boobs, she tells me to not grab the left one so hard cause she just got a lump cut out of it. SEXY!
- After fingering her for a while, I feel a string. I tell her to take the tampon out, she suggests that "we could just fuck with it in". I tell her "no, take it out".
- Now I explicitly said in my sms's that there was no "lazy starfish" accepted. She said that she wasn't like that. BUT SHE WAS!!!! Just lay there and took it. She wasn't flexible enough to do some of my standard positions (lawnchair, missionary with one leg up etc.). Just missionary, she orgasms for about a minute after 5 mins of this. She asks if I'm close, I say no. She says, "well get close, I can't take much more of this". It's obvious that I'm not going to cum while looking at this blubbering whale enjoying herself so I tell her to go to doggy.
- Doggy starts. Now I don't really have a problem having sex with a girl on her period when I'm horny, doesn't really phase me. However I ain't seen shit like this before. It was like I stabbed her with a penis-knife. Dripping and yeah....just dripping. I look at her saggy ass and there's a red mark going down the middle. I stare at her wall and think about someone else (usually the hot, blonde cowboy girl I fantasise about but have never met). She's screaming with pleasure of course. It reminds me of cats fighting and I have to regain my boner.
- It finishes. I feel dirty. She lies on the bed and goes "I'm stuffed". I say "why? you didn't do anything!". She just smiles and grabs her teddy bear.
Next post-coitus conversation reveals some interesting facts:
- She says she "really loves music", but "why does everyone think I'm dumb when I say I've never heard of the Beatles".
Alan: "Well, that's because they are the biggest selling artist of all time".
Girl: "Are they as popular as Fall Out Boy?"
Alan: "Yes. Even more so."
Girl: "My Chemical Romance?"
This goes on for a while.
- Last wednesday she overdosed on Red Bull. She usually only drinks 4 a day, but on this day she drank 13 in 8 hours, without eating food. Nice. On that note she hasn't eaten for a week, part of her weight loss regime. She claims she has lost 18kg in the last couple of weeks. I tell her that she's most likely loosing muscle as well as fat; she doesn't understand.
- After about 1 hr of talking I decide to leave to "fill out forms". I dress and leave, despite her offers to take a shower. Enough horror for me today, time to structure this event into a story.
I'd like to say that I was dumped about a month ago, and have been looking for a rebound to complete final steps of recovery. That said, I was also looking for a good sexual story, and whilst this isn't the funniest one I've got, it'll do for the time being.
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CHAT