Hm. This kind of love is what I call pubescent love. It's like Romeo and Juliet. It's like screaming teenagers at Elvis concerts. Teenage love is very real, and very intense while you're in it (even though we look back at the geeks we were and realize it's not THAT big of a deal how hot the guys were from New Kids on the Block.) Now, you don't have to be a teenager to have pubescent love.

The men and women who scream at each other because they are so "in love" with the other person are in pubescent love. It's not mature, understanding, constructive, and mutually beneficial. It is flaring, intense, self-consciouis, and jealous.

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- Zip

Look, fuck what everyone else says. Being attracted to someone who is maternal is not fucked up. You know what you are attracted to. There you go, five steps ahead of everyone else.

That being said, because you do know what you think is attractive, you have to have enough respect for her and THE KID to let the real dad have a chance. Back the fuck away from her, let her figure things out. There is no way in hell you'd ever beat out the natural dad if he's got his A game going on. It's chemistry. It's hormones that are screaming at her, especially if she breast fed the child (I won't go into this, just trust me.) The baby-daddy will trump. Let them be.

You're probably experiencing something that I'd categorize (ironically, mentioned just previously) pubescent love. That isn't saying that your love isn't just as strong, important, bla bla bla as mature love. I'm not even saying that you're admitting the whole "love" thing. What I mean are that your feelings are so intense they are irrational. No judgement, just understand that you are thinking and behaving in a destructive manner with this chick.

You need to immediate separate, reevaluate yourself, pick up a hobby, then revisit the situation (in your head, not like going to see her and wreck anything) after a LONG hiatus.

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- Zip

Okay, this confirms it. You definitely need to leave her the hell alone. You aren't about her. You're about conquering her. You're about seeing that you have the power to win. I read The Law of Seduction about four times a year. The first time I read it, I got all excited and tried to "conquer" other people. I was very dangerous for a while. Same thing happened when I first read Dangerous Liasons.

Get over yourself enough to realize that this tendency within yourself is not constructive. The Law of Seduction is fanstastic in order to understand what people are attracted to. It is dangerous if given to someone who needs the reactions and affirmations of others to fill themselves with worth. You need to grow up a bit (not a bad thing, and I had to do the same thing, trust me.) You can't rush it, just switch your focus on being fascinated on manipulating others to being able to manipulate yourself.

I know you're going to get all macho and argue that I'm wrong about you. Deep down, you know I'm right. I'm fucking right on the ball with this one, and I know it.

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- Zip

Jock Jams.

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- Zip

This is usually used as an opener, but what the hell is the difference between hot and cute?

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When you masturbate, God kills a kitten... so do your part to help control the overflowing pet population.

Hey there

Saw this thread and was very interested. And learnt so lot form your answers Zip so thanks J
So much interesting stuff there. I have quite a few questions that I will send (sorry it will be long!!) and any help on any of the points would be amazing thanks so can hopefully try it all. Thanks

1
Learnt a lot from this site so far, but had a new situation today and didn't know what to do. It happened twice in 10 minutes, just walking down the street with a mate when we saw these nice girls (both on their own) we didn't have much time to start and use an opener but I wanted to. It was hard to make eye contact and share a smile (I guess this is the bitch shield :S) Just wondering, how to look at them, and share a smile so you know to start a conversation etc. Or even if just passing and having no intention of opening, how to get a smile rather than looking like any desperate creep.

2
I'm just wondering, how do you set yourself apart when chatting on-line places such as 'bebo' or 'myspace'? I am using these sites at the moment to get msn addresses so I can practise techniques so they will be more natural in a live environment. It seems that everything (the judging whether to accept an add) is done on looks (which is fine for me as I am not that bad) I am just wondering how to make a more interesting start rather than just saying 'hey, how are you.' etc like everyone does! Or just complimenting her looks like most AFC’s would do! What I'm basically asking is for a few conversation starters that make you different and more interesting. I was just thinking that asking their opinion on a random issue 'whether your mate should ditch his girlfriend for cheating' would probably freak them out a bit! Also, have you any ideas how to make your profile more exciting, so that girls literally come to you and want to add you rather than the other way around?

3
I’m a 18 year-old lad from England + I generally act well, busting on girls, taking two steps forward and one back with some people. These people I am probably more comfortable with. This works well and I am close with a lot of them. However new people such as people I see occasionally at college, gym etc. sees me, as perhaps quiet and my real person can’t get out. It seems fake to start conversations and I don’t know what to say to get things started like I so naturally do at other times. At other times, I am not very ‘alpha male’ I say things and sometimes it gets ignored, so wanted to know how to speak so it is always heard and in a way respected. Lastly, in terms of favours and not licking a woman’s bum! How much is allowed? There are many people, within college, that if a cute girl asks them for help with an coursework etc. they will drop their last minute deadline to help out this girl. I know this is not how to be! How can I be dominant in this situation, or is being nice ok?!

4
Even after reading quite a few dating books...(Mystery, DDA, Speed Seduction, Dating Wizard, Pick Up 101) I still do not know how to start! Well I kind of do, but not carry on for how it feels right for me. I'll give you 1 quick example. At the gym today, a 9 (friend of a gym friend) came near me and recognised me. She said hey, I said hey back and we smiled... THAT WAS IT! I don’t know how to carry on this, asking how are you etc. to me seems boring etc. It's just so different with a nice girl (even though I'm not actually nervous) I just feel like I need something to say and the opinion things etc. I can’t seem to use! Another similar question about my changing personality. In certain situations everything changes, when out at a party etc. sometimes I act all nervous as if perhaps people are watching etc. If I’m having a conversation with a mate and they turn to talk to someone else for a second I freeze, often pretending to text someone or be on the phone for a bit just because I feel uncomfortable not doing something. All this is very jumbled, so sorry!



Thanks so much in advance! Andy

Someone told me that when you're Dependent, you manipulate others. When you're Independent, you manipulate yourself. I was dependent on her reactions, her words, her replies. It's a fucking awful feeling. It would really bother me and it's not sexy. At all.

I haven't gone much through the book of seduction but so far I see myself as the potential of the Ideal Lover. I'm excited about reading more of the book. Aside from that, I'm really glad you replied to me the way you did. It makes me even more confident of what I was feeling. Thanks

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"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he did nothing because he could do only a little." - Edmund Burke

wow from now on all councelling/therapy should be done on the internet ^ ^
or maybe its just zip's sheer talent

Youth Riot-

My hat's off to you. I felt, for sure, I had a screaming and crying reply coming my way after that hearty serving of tough love I sent your way. If eveyone just opened themselves to real criticism and real self-reflection, aside from all our self-conscious needs to defend ourselves (even over the internet... I don't get it) then we'd all be progressing, whether the actual advice was valid or not.

Finish the book and let me know what you think about it. Good stuff in there, especially for the workplace. And I'm not talking about seducing secretaries, I'm talking about getting a promotion

Which brings me back to the realization that you are REALLY young. I know I'm only in my early twenties, and my saying 19 is REALLY young sounds stupid, but you know what I mean. We're supposed to be fuck-ups when we're younger. It's how we figure things out. Lord knows I had my share. I wish I had more of a grasp or a desire to grasp what was going on in my head, so kudos to you.

Godspeed, sir, and let me know how it goes.

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- Zip

Okay. I'd say cute is that you've got a youthful quality to you. It's attractive, in a newer social way.

Hot is I can tell you've got lots of testosterone. Strong jaw line, broad sholders, smokey look that makes me want to jump you.

Both are attractive. Cute is a newer attraction garnered after women became okay with their bisexual natures (cute guys have more of a youthful/feminine fabulosity.)

Hot goes back to cavewomen and who can protect me from saber tooth tigers and give me babies and be strong enough to live and bring home the bacon.

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- Zip

MMM good stuff here. I'm going out with a client in a bit, so I'll get to this as soon as I finish my work in NY and on PUALife.com. Be back as soon as I can.

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- Zip

Will do. I'll let you know my 2 cents on it but I'm slow reader so I'll let you know eventually lol.

I get you about the age thing. There's no doubt in my mind that there's a big difference between 19 and let's say 23. You'll hear from me soon, Zip. Thanks again.

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"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he did nothing because he could do only a little." - Edmund Burke

That makes me feel a lot better know I fall under the hot catagory more than cute.

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When you masturbate, God kills a kitten... so do your part to help control the overflowing pet population.

Dude,
That would have been a very pitiful attempt and she would have seen through it like Saran Wrap

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I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day
Tomorrow isn't looking too good either

Honestly, it does make a big difference if you're a guy in a wheelchair right? I mean, I used to be a babe magnet (ok lol, not quite but I did well) until I got in a car accident in 12/2005 and now I can't walk and have only gotten 2 girls for a short time since then, and they were nowhere near the quality I used to get. Some of my greatest attributes are compromised; I was a really tall, toned/athletically built guy and now I'm stuck in this wheelchair and have lost my athletic physique due to no cardiovascular activity. I've put on a few pounds esp. in my abdomen because those muscles don't work anymore. What do you suggest I do to give myself the best chance at succeeding again with women? thanks -Lennon

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There is no absolute black or white; just infinite shades of gray