Failure now offers sucess??/ First date ideas



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:09 am 
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Ok guys brief heres my situation.

Back in April i met this girl, (were gonna call her M) at a prom after party. Shes about an 8.75-9. So not bad at all. Anyways i start talkin to her and kino a little bit... and she seems to be not contributing much to the convo (very short answers) and kinda giving negative body language. So at a break in the convo (a little bit awkward) i reached out and gently grabbed a strand of her hair. She looked at me all confused and stuff and i said "you know you should really get a better conditioner for these split ends". I figured a neg was appropriate and she responded with "Oh my god F you bla bla bla" I gave her a hug and said i was kidding. Rest of the night was kinda slow (maybe she was tired) and i figured maybe i went a bit over.

About a week later i got her AIM and started talkin to her and eventually got her digits. We arranged an ice cream date. The day came and i couldnt contact her (she said she had lost her phone) ok what ever i just figured move on. Awhile passed and i started making myself busy, and counsiled 2 of her best friends (also my friends) about relationships from my knowledge. Of course i was giving them advice on how to stimulate attraction in guys, so i made sure to inform them it was not my area of expertise. (the opposite is :D) (they called me mini Hitch haha)

Anyways i see her at a mutual friend's party and she comes up and gives me a big hug and i compliment her on her dress, and make her feel she has impressed me. Shes flattered. Rest of the night she has eyes on me...somewhat. Near the end of the party i go out to my car and she chases after me going "wait wait, you're not leaving are you" and i said "nope just dropping off my swim wear bla bla bla" She said "ok promise me you'll come back" She then extended her pinky (pinky promise) I went out and eventually ended up counsiling a girl on her relationship and when i was done i couldnt find M anywhere. She had left. Damn.
The next day i called her and said "hey I know last night I made a promise to come back and talk with you, but i had to help out kristen...kinda talk her through things. I just wanted to talk to you because i knew we didnt get a chance to last night" (everyone knew she had drama that night) She ended up apologizing to me about why she left etc and we had a good little chat. About 2 mins after i hung up she txts me saying "thanks so much for keeping your promise it means a lot to me"

Ok heres the good stuff... She AIMs me and says she cut her hair a little bit to fix those damn "split ends" that bothered me so much and that she looks so different bla bla bla. I told her id call her later to talk because i was busy at the momment. I called her later and same thing "I cut my hair for you bla bla bla you made me do it and it looks bad now.. you owe me an icecream or something next time i see you at a party" what a joke sympathy ploy. BUT DING DING DING! i said "screw that... how about me meet up next week im really busy the rest of this week". She says "wow what a popular guy haha...that would be cool." I told her id call her in 4 days (a sunday) Called her on that sunday and no answer. So i AIM'd her later and asked if she got my call. She said no because her phone was broken but she was getting it fixed the next day. I said "fine... I'll call you tomorrow at 5 and we can arrange something." She got all excited and assured me shed have the phone fixed by then. She asked me to talk to her cuse she was bord (i said i was busy and politly exited AIM)

Come monday (yesterday actually) i called her and she said she was at a birthday party. So i thought quickly should i call her back? My balls kicked in and i decided HELL NO... shes missing out on me if she blows this off. I said "haha fun fun fun...so anyways what are you doing on wednesday?" she told me she had NOTHING to do on that day and was totally free. I then asked her if she would like to meet up during the day or at night. (testing wheter or not she wanted a date) she said night. So hell yeah! Then she said shed call me later to fix times etc. I said "K cool bye."

So what the hell guys? Has she realized over the course of 2 months that she lost me the first time? Is she trying to make a comeback? Does she think im like a dating specialist now cuse i helped out 2 of her best friends with boy problems? I guess ignoring and making yourself the prize is the way to go. ANY IDEAS ON WHERE I SHOULD TAKE HER TO MAKE THE NIGHT VERY SPECIAL?? I dont wanna blow this one...but i feel she might be feeling the same pressure considering she sees me as "the prize" . So let me know guys!


Any ideas are helpful even if they are stupid... feel free to put your 2 cents in when reading this post.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 9:47 am 
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11 views and no ideas yet guys? common whats a good first date idea? Ive heard something that goes with the personality, but i dont wanna do anything too extreme...or too boring like a dinner and movie.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:24 am 
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In my experience, the more mundane the date, the better. Don't try to come up with something along the lines of a parachute jump onto an island in Hawaii where a 7 course dinner awaits you on the beach in the moonlight, just bring her along to anything you're doing anyway. The most fun day 2 I've ever had was when I had to buy bedsheets and brought her along.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:54 pm 
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Im new to this but i would say plan to "spontaneously" go to a few different places as this builds more comfort and comes off as exciting. For example tell her your on your way to rent a movie and she should tag along and help you pick one out. When you get to blockbuster or wherever say you have an idea, dont tell her what it is. Go to the grocery store together and pick out a cake, brownies, etc. that you plan on making together. Invite her to your place to watch the movie, bake, and have fun.

I do this and it works for me. There are other things you can do such as window shopping at mall to food court to bowling or something. Just keep it simple.

Also I would avoid telling her exactly when your gonna call her. It appears needy and obliges her to something. Feeling obliged is never fun so just say you'll call her sometime not exactly when.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 8:39 pm 
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cool thanks guys i was thinkin right along those lines too. Dinner + window shopping or something. (goin to the mall) Do you guys think that you should K-close on first date? Should it be done or avoided, or just happen spontanously?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 12:30 pm 
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Quote:
cool thanks guys i was thinkin right along those lines too. Dinner + window shopping or something. (goin to the mall) Do you guys think that you should K-close on first date? Should it be done or avoided, or just happen spontanously?
Always go for the K Close. It'll get rid of any doubt in her head that you might just wanna be friends because... 'Freinds don't Kiss' as Ryan Reynolds says.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 5:12 pm 
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Quote:
cool thanks guys i was thinkin right along those lines too. Dinner + window shopping or something. (goin to the mall) Do you guys think that you should K-close on first date? Should it be done or avoided, or just happen spontanously?
Personally, it depends on the situation, like everything. Look for IOIs, but remember that you or her are not at a party and/or drunk. I think a big hug is aways good. Maybe try Mystery's line "Do you want to kiss me?". If she says yes, do it. If she says no then say, "I didnt say u could it looked like you have something on your mind." and if she hesitates then say "well lets find out" and go in for the kiss.

I also think given your situation with her and past experiences that you might just want to hug her....but like I said it all depends on the situation.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 8:47 pm 
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great stuff guys thanks, a bit of bad news though =/. THis is the second time i have asked her out on a date and the second time she has blown me off. Yes she blew me off the first time with i lost my phone bla bla bla. So i just cut and run. But because of all the recent IOIs i thought... maybe give her a second chance...i did and heres what goes down:

1) i text her the night before saying i needed her address to pick her up the following day
2) no response
3) call her the next day and goes to voicemail...i dont leave a message cuse i want to talk to her not the stupid machine.
4) She texts me back about an hour later saying:


Her: "hey dan, My sim card is still messed up sorry if i missed your calls. Im with my family right now so i cant really talk but one of my friends is going away for awhile n wanted to see me today and depending on how long it will take im not sure if i can meet im so so sorry for the late notice she just told me yesterday night =( "

Me: "aw thats too bad =( we can either do it later tonight, which isnt a prob or just some other time." (at this point i didnt realize she was bullshitting so i sounded AFC)

Her: "yeah ill have to explain the whole thing to you. Thanks for being understanding about it."

Me: "Let me know what ya want to do so i go ahead and plan something else if you cant"

Her: "ill let you know by 5."

Me: " Tell ya what..be with ur friends today cuse she is leaving and i know that feeling, trust me. It sucks. We will just do it some other time k?" ( at this point i sensed bullshit and thought to myself fuck this im not gonna wait til 5 to get rejected AGAIN.)

Her: "ok thank youuuu I promise next time will work"

Me: "lol k call me later" (i knew it was bs at this point)

So what do you guys think? pretty lame isnt it? Dont understand though i got all the IOI's and all the green lights then she sudden screws me like this (not the good way) Her last text of "promising" is prob bs since the rest of what she said was bs too, so I'm like 99% sure im just done with this girl. It's so disrespectful to blow someone off twice, especailly when im lending her my time. Oh yeah she hasnt called/texted/AIM'd me appologizing or explaining to me either. Dont chase em, replace em. Thanks for lettin me vent guys. I got another cutie next in line though =)


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:59 am 
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i just realized that the thread name is kinda misleading...since my situation has changed since i first created it...


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