I'd say that the problem here is a lack of self-confidence. The reason you get hooked on women and continue to get hooked on all women is that you are not confident that the next girl will be coming anytime soon.

The best way to solve this is to practice your sarging more. Even if you aren't good enough to go out and get with 10 women you will realise the other opportunities that are available just by going out and approaching as many sets as you can. I think the only ways to avoid one-itis are either to get good with women so you know that you can get more anytime, or to realise that one-itis if massively detrimental to any chances you have with the girl.

I have been a victim on one-itis on a huge scale but only once. Even if I can't go out and get 10 women, I still know that there is absolutely no use in getting infatuated with a woman.

normally i try to make myself not to care to much, the less u are afraid to lose them, the less likely u ll lose them

Dude, ive had it worse, i fell head over heals for some girl who i only met 2 times over the course of like a year!! All we did was talk online and thats it, i wish i had this knowledge back in the day!

falling for a girl is natural.

if it helps
see more than one girl.
its harder to choose two or 10. which cancels out your falling for 1 girl.

it also depends on what your after

sex?
relationship?
long term?
practice?

Agreed It can be very frustrating and (as I've found through personal experience) very creepy... I found myself thinking something was wrong with me. Thinking of myself as a stalker... or some kind of psychopathic weirdo.... in any case, YES DO FIND OTHERS...do NOT stop until you know that person and that person knows you.

I agree, when someone would give me that fuck 10 other women bullshit when i had one-itis it would drive me crazy. If you're a true PUA, you should probably know that one-itis is a symptom of being an AFC. When your an afc and that occasional girl comes around that turns into your one-itis, its because you have no skills attract more women in your life and see that "that special girl" isnt so great.

The best way i took to rid myself of one-itis in my bad afc days was to just ignore the girl as much as possible and she would just fade away out of my mind.

If uou're a sensative sod, like myself, you call into one-itis because of that feeling of intmacy. You can move into working multiple girls at the same time, and i suggest doing so... but you will continue to experience the same feelings, only with many women instead of one... but it becomes easier to deal with over time

John.. I Know Exactly What U Mean..
But .. We're Here For A Reason.
I Know Don't Know What Yr Reason Is But Mine Is To Make A Change Cuz I`ve Had Enough Of One-Itus And All The Other Things That I Know Could Be Better In My Life

The same can be said for me...Been posting about my one-itis on several threads here already so I won't go into it again but the feeling of sheer helplessness, fear of being alone, self anger and shame is devastating when u get one-itis and u get LJBFed....which is why I made the conscious decision to move on, date as many other HBs as possible and to tell myself that "I'm not the only man here who has gone thru this crap"...
And yes...gotta run now cause I got a great singles party coming on tonight straight after work...LOL...Good bye and good riddance to one-itis

Daryl i have a similar problem.. as soon as i meet a girl i like i get infatuated over her..

it seems when this happens i lose my game completely and i come across as desperate and pushy..

as everyone has been saying its gotta come down to changing attitude, i know i cant keep on getting hooked in really quickly to one girl, i need to just keep on sarging and have 3-4 options at least so there is less pressure to be with one girl..

when you have one-itis i think it shows on a unconscious level, having several options will mean you are more relaxed and less desperate and this will show

Okay, oneitis is a major pain in the ass. I struggled with it for a while before I came to a big realization that helped me to beat it.

I define oneitis as a feeling of love or lust for a person that you feel as though you just can't do without. It's a natural human feeling that dates back hundreds of millions of years to when we lived in small hunter gatherer societies and there were few mating options and you knew everyone in your group. If you messed it up with that particular one in your group, it was over for you and very likely you might not ever get the chance to reproduce.
This mechanism which was useful in the past has become useless to us in modern society where we are always meeting new people. In ancient times we may have met someone new once every 13 months, while in a modern day city you meet someone new approximately once every second. Even though such a major shift has occured, the basic biological process has not changed and many AFC's are left with a feeling of oneitis.

Now that we've defined what oneitis is, how do you beat it? The interesting thing about oneitis is that it usually indicated a lack of selfconfidence. What you are doing is projecting a feeling of perfection onto another human being, which as we all know in the community can destroy your game.

The real problem with this is that it implies that you are missing something in your life. Now, even though men and women are the yin and the yang and they need each other to be complete, you have to be comfortable enough in who you are in order to be successful with women. When you are not, you develop feelings of attachment too early and thus oneitis. What this boils down to is that you are projecting your love onto this woman in the hopes that she will love you back, and yet YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF. Read that again, that is the key to this. You are projecting your love onto this woman in the hopes that she will love you, but you are not comfortable or confident enough in yourself and do not love yourself, so how is she going to love you?

What you are giving off instead of this is neediness and clinginess because you have this feeling that you need her to accept and love you. But, and this is major, only YOU can do this. You need to go deep into yourself and find your true self or your inner child, the one that is completely hidden from the world. And you need to take your inner child and you need to tell it that it's going to be okay and you need to fill it with love. You need to think of all those times in your life when you have felt at your lowest and you need to remember those times and then infuse yourself at those times with love. You need to let yourself know that it is okay and that you love yourself. If you believe that you are a prize the way you are and you love and respect yourself, women will notice it and they will be attracted to you too.

In short, Love Thyself, for no one can do it better. And if you don't love yourself, how are others going to love you? You've been seeking for others approval and developing oneitis because deep down you are uncomfortable with yourself and you feel like you need someone to accept you. Let that someone be you. You'll see an immediate change when you understand this because the thing that you will find is that when you love yourself you won't be projecting that love onto others as much and you won't be needing their acceptance, you'll be expecting it. And that is a powerful place to come from.

One-itis- An unreciprocated obsession for another person. The obsesser tends to think he/she is in love with the obsessie, but, majority of the time it's lust and frustration that this other person doesn't see them as more than friends.

Being in love- This is when 2 people are on the same level with eachother, but are a little less than obsessed with eachother. They feel the romantic connection, sexual connection and friend connection. Usually believing that they're significant other is "the one".

Love- (taken from dictionary.com) "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." Whether it be for your spouse, your best friend or a family member. But not always a passionate kinda love.

I don't want to heat up an old topic but I am really concerned about this one so I wanted to contribute.


I’ve read this post and it has made me think a lot since I think I’m in a similar situation. But as far as I can describe the answers it seems to me that falling in love with a girl is nearly impossible or at least not really described. The answers mostly pointed one-it is with a new person out. On love at first sight I agree that this is a one-iti, but on a person you really know?

I know this good friend of mine for 2 years and there is a friendship and a sexual desire (at least for me, and about the connection I think I have to work on that). Now my perception on love was always that it’s love when you have a friendship, a personal connection and a sexual desire for that person. What do you think when or how love kicks in? And if you share my opinion on love, does it make sense to only build a connection and then you pull the trigger?

Pulsebeat

Could I just point out that one-itis does not necessarily mean a long term monogamy.

I think I'll write a thread soon in the newbie section on exactly what One-ITIS is.

People seem to mistake it for a "normal" healthy relationship with just one girl.