| I met this girl back in the winter in a writers' group and was immediately attracted to her, but a friend told me she had a boyfriend, so I didn't try anything. She's seven years older than me but doesn't really look it. We hit it off as friends, and for the last few months she and I have regularly gotten together one evening a week to have wine, talk about writing, and catch up. But after a while, she started flirting and stuff. I wasn't sure how to react, but after it happened a few times I started flirting back.
She's started dressing a little sexier than usual on the days we meet up. She's become more touchy-feely, sits closer, leans in further when she talks, holds my gaze longer, gives me these slow, inviting smiles. We have good conversation and talk about all kinds of things, but somehow it always ends up coming around to something about our bodies or something sexual, and it's usually her who takes it there. Like, it started with her once saying, "Oh, it's funny, I was thinking about you today while I was toweling off after my shower..." I was like "?!" and every time she tried to explain it just sounded hotter and hotter, and finally she stopped because she was beet red, and she wouldn't even tell me what she'd been thinking about because she said it would've only made things worse. Once recently we got into a conversation about me giving her a very in-depth hypothetical massage. Once somehow we ended up talking about our masturbation habits, and she said she hadn't done it in forever because she can just have sex whenever. I said, "Oh, but they're not the same at all. Everyone needs alone time." She said, "You're right, I should make time for that. But it's weird because my cat always watches me." I said, "Oh, well, if someone's gonna watch, it should be me." She said, "Then you'd probably have to masturbate too," and I said, "Well, if we're cumming in the same room we might as well just have sex." She gave me a little smile. And one time there was a lengthy chat about how in/out of shape we both are during which she said my body is "perfect," and I reminded her that she hadn't actually seen it, and before she realized what she was saying, she blurted that she'd imagined it several times and was positive that it's perfect.
I hang out at a local restaurant every Monday with some of my friends, and I'm always inviting other friends to join us and just come and chill. I invited her this week, with no intentions but to have some food and hear some good music, but it became something else. She sat very close to me at the bar, and we had drinks and there was a LOT of very sensual kino on both ends. After dinner, she and I took our drinks out on the patio and sat on a couch in the shade. She curled up really close to me and I was rubbing her leg a little, and we held hands for a while and the talk got heated again. The whole time she's hovering inches from my face, and we're kinda tipsy...I absolutely could've kissed her but I didn't. The sexual tension was insane. We were parked in opposite directions, and I walked her to my car, then she offered to drive me to mine. Before I got out, we both went in for a car hug (my least favorite kind, as it is inherently awkward)...I'm not sure what happened, but there was a kind of slow sideways face collision on the way into the hug and I think we almost kissed. I mean...that was not hanging out. That was a date, and all my friends thought she and I were together. One of them confided later that he'd come out to the patio to say hello upon late arrival but walked out during some intense kino and didn't want to interrupt.
Another thing? We've been friends almost six months now, hang out at least once a week, I've hung at her house...and I've never met her boyfriend. I only even know what he looks like because I've seen him on her Myspace. (No, he's not some big dude who could break me in half. Normal guy.) I'd make a move, but from everything I've heard she seems very happy with their relationship. She seems to love him, she talks about him occasionally, I've never heard her give a bad comment about him...she seems very content with their whole deal. They live together, too, so I doubt a breakup is anywhere in the near future. But she's OBVIOUSLY very into me.
I'm a little lost. She's not the cocktease type who flirts with everybody...many times she's pointed out guys (and girls) she's hot for, and I always jokingly say "Go for it," and she always says (and means it), "Nah...I'm in a relationship." And yet there's this thing with us. If I believed there was some unhappiness with her boyfriend I'd have no problem stepping in, but because she seems very content with him I have NOT gamed her. I have never initiated flirting, only doing so when she began it first. She gives almost constant, increasingly overt IOIs, and we've got this powerful chemistry, but that snag makes me unsure of whether I should take things further. She's making all the moves, but she wouldn't actually go as far as to grab me somewhere or kiss me--plausible deniability. If we were to kiss, I'd have to be the one to make it happen. Sometimes when we're together, we're SO close and she's just looking at me and smiling, and I know I could just grab her and press my mouth to hers, but I'm just so torn because I don't want to be responsible for chipping away at what seems to be a perfectly healthy relationship. At the same time, I'm dying to get physical her and know that if I *am* going to make a move it needs to be pretty soon before the tension plateaus and drops off.
Questions:
-What do you think she really wants here?
-Should I make a real move?
-What about the boyfriend?
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CHAT
Dude, you only live twice, so just go for it and worry about the BF later.