Soo I dated this girl for 1.5 years we broke up officially at the end of March I took it kinda hard and wanted to get back with her. I did periods of either chasing her somewhat and then freeze outs which made her contact me a bunch. She broke up becuase she wanted to see what was out there, she just got into graduate school and I guess shes also had a lot of new opportunities with guys hitting on her. Didn't really give me a great explination I feel and I'm still a little confused, we had a great relationship and I treated her pretty good although I was a huge dick and drunk and mean to her in late february which sorta prompted the break up although she was second guessing for a little bit before then.

I'm pretty much over her, i'm dating some new people now, so I figured whatever I'll talk to her again about a month ago. Shes pretty much perfect for me we have a lot in common, similar backgrounds, families are friends, both in the medical field. So we talked a few times and had some great convos the last month and then we decided to do dinner tonight.

Night went amazing cocky funny and teased her the entire time, we had great kino at dinner and flirted a little bit. Then we took a walk to the verizon store and she spent an hour trying to decide on a phone I played it cool but was sorta like jesus christ woman pick a phone already mentally. It actually upset me but I got it out of my mind and was able to go cocky funny again on her and have her laughing. I made a mention in a teasing way 1 hour at verizon on our first date again. She quickly commented how this wasn't a first date and I just ignored it.

Kino greatly escalated at my place during dessert we some ass touching, arms around her neck from behind so i decided fuck it i'll go for it even though I told myself I wouldn't try to kiss her or hook up with her and play it cool. I gave in some we were even talking about us being good kissers and hook ups on the walk back from verizon so i thought she might be interested. And she asked me if I was dating new girls and seeing anyone which I brushed off and I sorta threw in a line aerlier in the night how I went to a baseball game with a freind and then threw in the word she in there when telling her about the game I went to last night.

Anyways I kissed the back of her neck, she didn't care the first 1-2 times but then she sorta shrugged me off after that. Said she couldn't do this and if we hooked up she would get emotionally attached again. I asked her the mystery do u want to kiss me question and she went with a no. So I smiled, played it cool and went back to cocky funny but reserved and not trying to hook up with her at all.

She said she needs to see whats out there, says she doesn't have a boyfriiend now but is dating around or will be. And she also said that she didn't feel comfortable hooking up with 2 people or more at the same time and that even if I'm seeing someone I shouldn't either. So i guess she prob is seeing someone.


Anywyas I hear all these stories of guys who still tap their exes and I have had that with exes before. I would love to turn her into a F-buddy at the least although I would really like to get her back. I know this is one-itis and I know I should just move on but its really hard as I'm sure a lot of u already know and as I have told other people in my postings.

It sucks becuase Its so natural when we hang out we are perfect I don't get why she wants to see other people. except for a few fights here and there we didn't ever fight for the first year of our entire relationship.

ALso if this new relationship which I guess shes prob in fails is she gonna come running back and be ready to hook up?

I just want to hear about other peoples experiences with their exes and how it turned out long term and what they did. I've only ever been broken up with 2 times so this sorta blows. And even after every break up whether I did it or the girl dumped me I always in the long run ended up hooking up with them again whether it was a year later or a few weeks later.

-C

I've chased some of my exes before, and in my opinion it's pointless.

Seriously dude, if it didn't work out the first time, it probably won't work the second or third times either.

I know it just sucks. I'm 25 this was my 5th or 6th serious relationship prob my 3rd longest one at 1.5 years. But the chemistry was just so amazing and we were so perfect for each other.

Would really like to get her back in the bed room at least. Just got the obligatory text message "Hey just got home. Thanks again for dinner. It was delicious. So good to see you!"

Not replying to it. She asked me to hang out saturday earlier gonna bail on her.

My response to the above poster though is were u able to hook up with them. Did freeze out, not trying to initiate anything work or did chasing her work?

I know I should probably just move on and I am by dating other people but theres still a part of me that misses her. And maybe its just a phase and she needs some space. I know a few people who broke up for a period dated other people and ended up getting back together and got married. but for every 1 of those stories is prob 10000 of the contrary.

I had a girl I dated on and off for about a year. Stupid high school thing. I was her "first love", so I had trouble getting rid of her when she started being stupid with shit.

I could make her extremely angry at me one week, and coax her back into the bed the next. Just reflect on what you used to do to get her into bed, and try to narrow it down to one or two things, and try them. Maybe some playful negs. Be the prize, don't come so easy, ya know?

Yeah, i did all that today. I actually felt I ran very good game, shes a very good girl though and perhaps she is really seeing someone serious?

Regardless though what I did didn't seem to work, although the kino escalation really got up there.

Talked to a friend of mine this chick I ask advice of here and there and she said to stop trying to hook up with her when I see her and just to be fun and such and then end the date like that.


Another option that I might go with is:

I remember reading this post he made a while back, I feel I should probably just move on for my own mental sake. I have burried this girl mentally twice and then she re-surfaced some how and wanted to hang out. And I blew it by playing the game perfect for the first 1-2 hours and then eventually giving in and getting AFCish and talking Serious and such. Maybe I should just keep my dates 1 hour with this girl.

Also the above quoted text would that be to much and show me as immature to just cut her out like this and not mature enough to be friends. Our familes are freinds too and she goes to my country club and is currently taking classes at my medical school so I'm gonna see her a lot.

I guess the reason I haven't ever done the above mentioned quote is I just don't have to balls to fully drop her and am not ready to lose her even if all I get is a freind, which is pathetic. My brain knows whats up but my fucking heart won't let me do the right thing.

yeah I should probably emphasize the negatives in my mind more. but within minutes after leaving the 1 hr at verizon I didn't really care anymore that she can be so indecisive at times.

Dude, I am going through the same thing at the moment, my ex is now seeing someone else, though she insists it isn't serious. Sure I am still in love with her, but I don't let her know that, I told her a month ago how I felt and since then I haven't mentioned it once.

I re-read 'The Game' the other day, finished today, I use it more of a way of looking at life, it helped me re-evaluate things that were important to me and set new goals for myself. I do not necessarily want to become a fully blown PUA but it has helped my game a lot, if I choose to do so I can go out and find a girl. But some nights I might not be too bothered and will just go out with mates instead.

Things look horrible at the moment, but they will improve.

- SC

Its ahrd but we are still forced to see each other. I really wonder what I should do in the situations when I'm gonna be around her. I think that being distant but nice and end the convo short is the best course of action.

And when we do hang out to continue to be cocky funn and kino but don't go in for the kiss, I think she liked seeing my try to kiss her because it validates her and shows her hey he's always here if u want him.

Wish there was a more worked out game for dealing with exes.

Push/pull man!

Show her how you used to be, and show her how you're going to be if you're not together. If she doesn't respond, push more, and pull less.