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recommendation:
the definitive book of body language by allan and barbara pease
This books sucks, take from me. Perhaps sucks is too strong a word. It is difficult to come up with a formulaic approach to non-verbal communication. While there are certain good rules to go by--such as good eye contact, good posture, firm handshake, etc--most things have a great deal of context that need to be applied to it. While Pease acknowledges this, he doesn't seem to take it to heart.
Non-verbal communication is powerful BECAUSE it is unspoken and because the messages it sends are CLEAR. Just be honest with yourself about the vibes you get from other people to read good body language. On top of that, simply be aware of what people are doing with their body in social situations. To improve your own body language, just follow some very general rules (don't fidget, maintain good eye contact, maintain an open stance, and take up a lot of space). Outside of this, simply work on self confidence and the so-called "inner game" and the signals that you send will come naturally.
Just remember, body language is a communication medium that is RECEIVER oriented. In other words, humans have developed the capacity to READ these subtle cues unconsciously. If their readings were poor, then they are less likely to be selected evolutionarily. You can trust in your own, as well as other people's, natural capabilities to a very high degree.
I'd be interested to know christopherphillip's thoughts on this, as he seems to be the resident body language expert around here.