| Well, I can't speak for all that, but I either have a drink (I know, I know, it's frowned upon by a lot of the community, but I know what works when it comes to calming myself down) or pretend to be someone else.
--Well. I should clarify that. By "pretend to be someone else," I mean I sort of take on a role. It's something I read once in...actually, now that I think about it, it was a book about learning to be more social for people who had trouble with it. It was written in a surprisingly friendly, fun, and accessible style, and one of the icebreaker routines it gave for getting over that initial anxiety among new people was to think of a someone you greatly admire (could be a celebrity, or a character, or a real person) and really focus mentally on the idea of them for a while and then behave as you think that person would.
Obviously you wouldn't wanna pick someone like The Joker or Dick Cheney, but someone appealing and (duh) outgoing and charismatic. I used to do this a lot when I started going out alone, before I made a lot of friends and had more confidence (now often I feel I couldn't possibly be anyone better than myself, which is a great feeling), but still pull it out occasionally when my nerves get me. The goal is obviously to choose someone who's a good fit with your own persona...depending on the situation I have a few I choose from, but most often go with Cary Grant, George Clooney, Jack Nicholson, or Hugh Grant.
The trick's to remember you're not doing an imitation...you're taking this other personality and filtering it through your own, which sort of creates, ideally, the best of both. People don't look at me when I do it and think, "Who the hell's this guy acting like Cary Grant?" because it doesn't LOOK like I'm imitating anyone, it just looks like I'm quick-witted and smooth as hell. It's a quick and easy way to get past nerves. How can I be nervous about approaching a girl when I'm George fucking Clooney?
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